Psychology

Disclosures
Stephanie Its good to see you... Im gonna talk about... I live in a very isolated place, and its very hard to get to know people. I have a job that kinda keeps me in one area all the time. And Id like to meet people and have fun but, Im kinda limiting the people I see on a daily basis. And I spend so much time at work. When I get home, I do not want to talk about work. And the only people I know are the people I work with

What makes it worst is that, I used to have a little close relationship to my mom, my best friend. And after I went to college it kinda was really hard to keep in touch, and she hated that I ran away to school cause she is my best friend ... But   when I was in college she said shes drinking, and really became alcoholic during the summer, and her personality has changed  

So, I just feel very isolated, and alone ...

Therapist Do you wanna contact your mom   and (get that relationship back)...

Stephanie Exactly, exactly.
This part of the conversation clearly reflects the function of disclosures in a conversation. In this part, the client, Stephanie was able to uncover several revealing things about her personal life. For one, Stephanie easily disclosed about her being work-centered during the past months of her life. This revelation easily gave the therapist an idea about how Stephanies life is lately, and whether or not her being work-centered has something to do with anxiety that she has been going through. Apart from this, Stephanie was also able to reveal one very sensitive part of her personal life, which is the issue between her and her mother. As Stephanie reveals how close she was to her mother and how her mother grew to become an alcoholic when she ran away to college, the therapist easily gained entrance to Stephanies circle of intimacy. Considering how disclosures were elaborated in the Goodman and Esterlys Talk Book, it can be considered a closer relationship that may be built between the therapist and the client is understandable since it has been easy for the two of them to disclose sensitive matters. This is good, especially in this kind of conversation (therapeutic) since both parties are required to hear and know about each other in order to eventually end up with a therapeutic and relieving result.

Reflections
Therapist Are you an only child
Stephanie No. No. I have one brother and four step brothers and sisters.
Therapist ...persons you had to let go
Stephanie Yeah.
Therapist Which is why shes on housing...
Stephanie No. Shes actually at (...) now... and my step brothers.. creates a lot of anxiety...
Therapist ...shes in a lot of well... shes doing it alone. Now.. a little kind of...
Stephanie the same way.
Therapist ...shes starting with it.
Stephanie exactly.

Reflection was said to be the missing link in in the ever ambiguous and dynamic process of communication. According to the Talk Book, a reflection shall require having the other part of the conversation reflect or present back the other ends experience (1988). The part of Stephanie and the therapists conversation presented above shows how the therapist reflected on what her client said. When Stephanie revealed that she is not an only child, the therapist immediately reflected on her situation and assumed that indeed, there were a lot of special people in Stephanies life she had to let go. Stephanie apparently affirmed the assumption and this created a situation that seems to show that the two parties are finally understanding each other already. In the latter part of this conversation, the understanding appears to be deeper as the therapists reflections to what Stephanie says appear to be more accurate and certain. As the conversation progressed, it appeared easier for the therapist to complete what her client was trying to say, and there were also times when she would supplement what the client says. To sense some level of reflection especially in an intimate conversation is indeed necessary. It lets the other end of the conversation feel that he or she is well understood. However, in the context of this conversation, although it is apparent that the therapist manifested some sense of reflection, some of her words appeared short of what seems to be a more perceivable reflection of Stephanies experiences.

Interpretations
Therapist Have you expressed how you felt
Stephanie No. No. But, its my fault. Of course she likes to come back too, and its my fault that Im on a job... Its my fault that I have my friends.
Therapist How was it when she started at alcohol
Stephanie Excruciating. Excruciating cause are good choices Ive made... because there are things that I love and I like to do ... When I talk to her I just want to be heard. I mean... that everythings gonna be okay... I dont get that... just deal with it.
Therapist Are you an only child
Stephanie No. No. I have one brother and four step brothers and sisters.
Therapist ...persons you had to let go
Stephanie Yeah.
Therapist Which is why shes on housing...
Stephanie No. Shes actually at (...) now... and my step brothers.. creates a lot of anxiety...
Therapist ...shes in a lot of well... shes doing it alone. Now.. a little kind of...
Stephanie the same way.

As it appears, interpretations, as a form of response is one of the most common when it comes to conversations between intimate people like siblings or friends. Interpretations serve to let one end of the conversation share his or her analysis on the experience, thought, idea or action of the other end of the conversation (Goodman  Esterly, 1988). In this part of the conversation, an attempt to interpret Stephanies words can be observed when the therapist started asking a series of questions on Stephanies feelings. The therapist also made some short assumptions on Stephanies mothers actions which can be seen as another way of interpreting their situation. However, this kind of interpretation is not that effective in the sense that, it does not appear to help the client have realizations in relation to the experiences she was sharing to the therapist. The therapist could have interpreted Stephanies feelings and her mothers actions more elaborately so as to give Stephanie the feeling that the therapist was really trying to help. The therapist could have extracted more of Stephanies experiences and interpreted them more extensively through her own words. This could have given Stephanie more assurance that she is being heard.

Advisements
Therapist Do you wanna contact your mom   and (get that relationship back)...
Stephanie Exactly, exactly.
Therapist So, going back to what happened when you left.
Stephanie I think its inevitable. Now shes   I guess shes working... But I know shes good. Im glad that she has something... I think she thought of my Dad. Cause my Dad wanted me to be that away to school... so that shell think that its his fault. And now she thinks that its my fault. Shes just close, I think shes just close... and abandoned.
Therapist Have you expressed how you felt
Stephanie No. No. But, its my fault. Of course she likes to come back too, and its my fault that Im on a job... Its my fault that I have my friends.

This form of response appears common among consultations. This response is usually given by experts who are being asked for advise or suggestions. This form of response is commonly always taken seriously as these are typically ideas that help in alleviating a situation or solving a dilemma. After going through the entire conversation of Stephanie and her therapist, it clearly appears that the conversation is more of a sharing rather than a consultation. The therapist wanted to hear what Stephanie had to share, and these information shall be analyzed in her objective to understand where Stephanies anxieties are coming from. In this part of the conversation, some short statements somehow appear to be attempts of advisements. In the beginning, the therapist asked whether Stephanie wants to contact her mom to get their relationship back to how it was before. Although this idea was said in an interrogative manner, it somehow appeared like an attempt to advise Stephanie to contact her mom. The therapist also mentioned in the end about Stephanies expression of her feelings. Again, although this statement was said in a question form, it also appears to be a subtle advise to Stephanie to try at least expressing to her mom how she feels. Considering the fact that this was not a consultation session, it is understandable that the therapist did not give much advisements. However, it could have helped if she did give serious and straighforward advisements so as to make Stephanie feel that the therapist cared.

Questions
Therapist Do you wanna contact your mom   and (get that relationship back)...
Stephanie Exactly, exactly.
...
Therapist Have you expressed how you felt
Stephanie No. No. But, its my fault. Of course she likes to come back too, and its my fault that Im on a job... Its my fault that I have my friends.
Therapist How was it when she started at alcohol
Stephanie Excruciating. Excruciating cause are good choices Ive made... because there are things that I love and I like to do ... When I talk to her I just want to be heard. I mean... that everythings gonna be okay... I dont get that... just deal with it.
Therapist Are you an only child
Stephanie No. No. I have one brother and four step brothers and sisters.
Therapist ...persons you had to let go
Stephanie Yeah.

Question was said to be  the most popular piece of language  (Goodman  Esterly, 1988). Most of the time, questions are being uttered in the objective of finding out a significant piece of knowledge from another person. This form of response has been observed mostly among children since children are the most curious and inquisitive people. However, this form of speech or response can also be very evident in consultation and therapeutic and analytical conversations since the other end is supposed to work on discovering things about the client that are important in analyzing or interpreting his or her situation. This was the case in the context of this conversation between Stephanie and her therapist. It is quite obvious that it became necessary for the therapist to ask questions since some unsaid information may appear relevant in her analysis of Stephanies anxieties or dilemmas. In observing how the therapist asked questions, it was obvious that she was plainly aiming to collect information from Stephanie as what is apparent from her short questions. The questioning appeared to ber effective though, as most of it were not just simply answered rather, Stephanie willingly elaborated on such questions which made it a lot easier for the therapist to extract valuable information from her client.

Silences
Stephanie But   when I was in college she said shes drinking, and really became alcoholic during the summer, and her personality has changed   and that she cant not drink. So our whole dynamic has changed, and I dont like to condone what she does, so it makes it very hard for me to contact her. Because I want her to get help, and I want her to work through it... just to teach her... so I dont want that to affect her work, I know how much that will hurt her. Its not gonna happen ... So, I just feel very isolated, and alone  
Therapist Do you wanna contact your mom   and (get that relationship back)...
Stephanie Exactly, exactly.
Therapist So, going back to what happened when you left...

This was the part of Stephanies conversation with her therapist that had the most silences. According to Goodman and Esterly (1988), silences serve as cues or signs of a more meaningful message. In understanding the context of this conversation, Stephanie suddenly toned down a little bit and seemed to paused more when she shifted her discussion from her dilemmas at work to her problems in relation to her mother, who just became an alcoholic. In this context, the silence of Stephanie may appear to mean a deeper kind of feeling. As Stephanie revealed that she used to be very close to her mother before, the silences became a much more understandable. Apparently, those silences where due to some sudden flash of negative emotions that might have been brought by Stephanies thoughts on communicating with her mom. These silences are very important to note and observe on the side of the therapist since these pauses may really convey deeper meanings. However, these pauses are also easy to be misunderstood. Thus, it also takes a critical and a more sensitive judgment before the real meanings of these pauses are revealed. However, as it appears from the therapists corresponding queries, her understanding of the pauses were accurate as what can be observed when she asked Stephanie if she wants to contact her mom. This implies that the therapists understanding of such pauses has been effective, and her sensitivity and critical judgment on her clients silences has been very accurate.

Transcription of audio file Stephanie_Gelb_-_beginning.wav

Therapist Its so good to see you.
Stephanie Its good to see you... Im gonna talk about... I live in a very isolated place, and its very hard to get to know people. I have a job that kinda keeps me in one area all the time. And Id like to meet people and have fun but, Im kinda limiting the people I see on a daily basis. And I spend so much time at work. When I get home, I do not want to talk about work. And the only people I know are the people I work with. Its very, very odd hours, so I cant just go to the gym or sign up for a class or meet someone there a little bit or something like that   I thought, oh I can meet with people doing this... go have fun together, lets go to the movies alone. What makes it worst is that, I used to have a little close relationship to my mom, my best friend. And after I went to college it kinda was really hard to keep in touch, and she hated that I ran away to school cause she is my best friend ... But   when I was in college she said shes drinking, and really became alcoholic during the summer, and her personality has changed   and that she cant not drink. So our whole dynamic has changed, and I dont like to condone what she does, so it makes it very hard for me to contact her. Because I want her to get help, and I want her to work through it... just to teach her... so I dont want that to affect her work, I know how much that will hurt her. Its not gonna happen ... So, I just feel very isolated, and alone ...
Therapist Do you wanna contact your mom   and (get that relationship back)...

Stephanie Exactly, exactly.
Therapist So, going back to what happened when you left.
Stephanie I think its inevitable. Now shes   I guess shes working... But I know shes good. Im glad that she has something... I think she thought of my Dad. Cause my Dad wanted me to be that away to school... so that shell think that its his fault. And now she thinks that its my fault. Shes just close, I think shes just close... and abandoned.
Therapist Have you expressed how you felt
Stephanie No. No. But, its my fault. Of course she likes to come back too, and its my fault that Im on a job... Its my fault that I have my friends.
Therapist How was it when she started at alcohol
Stephanie Excruciating. Excruciating cause are good choices Ive made... because there are things that I love and I like to do ... When I talk to her I just want to be heard. I mean... that everythings gonna be okay... I dont get that... just deal with it.
Therapist Are you an only child
Stephanie No. No. I have one brother and four step brothers and sisters.
Therapist ...persons you had to let go
Stephanie Yeah.
Therapist Which is why shes on housing...
Stephanie No. Shes actually at (...) now... and my step brothers.. creates a lot of anxiety...
Therapist ...shes in a lot of well... shes doing it alone. Now.. a little kind of...
Stephanie the same way.
Therapist ...shes starting with it.
Stephanie exactly.
Therapist Are you in contact when you were away... is it by phone or..
Stephanie Yes. Over the phone. And over the phone here is better... for when she comes here   its just drama. Drama, drama.. Drinking and cutting me out.. and you know. Not motherly bonding, that I know I get to see her once a year.. or two times a year... or she going... not talk to her... I know my Mom... you know.
Therapist ...is your best friend... So we are now evaluating Stephanie.

Asthma is a significant health problem among Hispanic communities.  Despite the increase however, Mexican American children have lower asthma prevalence rates as compared to the non-Hispanic children in the United States.  This is more rampant to those that have low education levels that usually lack some health insurances.

Lifestyle and health behavior appear to be very important in the health of a person.  Low acculturation level and the use of native languages led the Hispanic communities to lower mortality rates and better health as compared to any other ethnic groups.  Hispanic paradox does exist despite controversy.  Certain lifestyles and health behaviors of the Hispanic community led to lower mortality rates despite depression, life stress, and less health insurances.  Biological advantages were rampant among the Hispanic communities.

One current remarkable issue in relation to life-span development revolves around acculturation and its effects on asthma burden among Hispanic communities.  According to Molly Martin, Madeleine Shalowitz, Tod Mijanovich, Elizabeth Clark-Kauffman, Elizabeth Perez, and Carolyn Berry (2007) in their article entitled The Effects of Acculturation on Asthma Burden in a Community Sample of Mexican American Schoolchildren, Asthma prevalence and mortality rates are increasing among Mexican American children (p. 1290).  This makes asthma a significant health problem among Hispanic communities.  Despite the increase however, Mexican American children have lower asthma prevalence rates as compared to the non-Hispanic children in the United States.  This is more rampant to those that have low education levels that usually lack some health insurances.  Because many of the Mexican American people are immigrants who have been born in Mexico, it gives the notion that acculturation has some effects on asthma burden among Mexican American children by reflecting low acculturation levels and higher biological benefits.

Main Body
Asthma burden
In the study that Molly Martin et al (2007) conducted, they studied Mexican American schoolchildren and their effects of acculturation against asthma.  They used variables in studying the children, and gathered data from an observational study, such as the childrens diagnosed asthma and the total diagnosed plus possible asthma.  They used regression models directed for the caregivers level of acculturation, education, marital status, depression, life stress, and childrens insurances (Martin et al., 2007, p. 1290).  In the end they concluded that the level of acculturation of caregivers was mediated by social factors, especially in relation to life stress (Martin et al., 2007, p. 1290).  In addition, foreign birth was more predictive of disease status than was language use or years in country (Martin et al., 2007, p.1290).  It appears that increased acculturation among Mexican American schoolchildren do not generally lead to greater asthma risk, giving the notion that low acculturation among healthy immigrants reflect biological advantages, which can be related to health behaviors and life-span development.

Acculturation
Martin et al. (2007) defined the term acculturation as a process of culture learning and behavioral adaptation that takes place when individuals are exposed to a new culture (p. 1290).  It is a process wherein individuals undergo changes in their language use, cognitive style, personality, identity, attitude, and stress level (Martin et al., 2007, p.1290).  However, studies show that
Low acculturation levels among US Hispanics with low socioeconomic status have been linked to lower infant mortality rates, better immunization status, higher life expectancy, lower mortality from cardiovascular disease and cancer, and less cigarette smoking and drug use. (Martin et al, 2007, p.1290)

Because Mexican American immigrants reflect lower diagnosed asthma rates when compared to those born in the United States, it concludes that there is greater risk of diagnosed asthma to those born in the United States, as opposed to those born in Mexico.  They also found that caregivers usually had less diagnosed asthma, especially those who preferred to use their native language instead of the English language.  This reflects Hispanic paradox, indicating that there are better relative health outcomes to the newly migrated Mexican Americans, as compared to other ethnic groups in an equal environment.

Controversy behind Hispanic paradox
Eileen Crimmins, Jung Ki Kim, Dawn Alley, Arun Karlamangla, and Teresa Seeman (2007) has concluded that Hispanics in the United States have better or similar health to that of non-Hispanic Whites, despite Hispanics having lower incomes and less education (p. 1305).  The Hispanics have comparatively lower mortality rates, which reflect the Hispanic paradox.  Empirical findings that support the existence of this paradox were seen in low mortality rates, especially among aged men who were immigrants in the United States.  However, there are also studies that show that there are no difference in mortality between Hispanics and Whites (Crimmins et al., 2007, p. 1305), claiming that there is no truth behind the Hispanic paradox, and ethnic differences show fewer clear-cut concerning function, disability, and morbidity (Crimmins et al., 2007, p. 1305).  There are even studies that show Hispanics report worse health than Whites (Crimmins et al., 2007, p. 1305), indicating that the term Hispanic paradox is merely a lie.

Because there are more studies in the area of life-span development (Kuznia, 2009, p. 1), it is an indication that the controversy has enhanced the study of life-span development, and more people support the idea that Hispanics are indeed healthier when compared to the Blacks and the Whites.  As indicated in the article, Hispanics, despite their socio-economic hurdles, on average live longer than blacks by seven years, and whites by five years (Kuznia, 2009, p. 1).  This is according to Dr. David Hayes-Bautista, a professor of medicine at UCLA.  The controversy has enhanced the study of life-span development.

Conclusion
Lifestyle and health behaviors appear to be very important in the health stage of a person.  Low acculturation level and the use of native languages have led the Hispanic communities to lower mortality rates and better health as compared to any other ethnic groups who have migrated to the United States.  Hispanic paradox does exist, and certain lifestyles and health behaviors of the Hispanic community led to lower mortality rates despite higher levels of depression, life stress, and less health insurances.  The Hispanic culture reflects some biological advantages (e.g., breastfeeding) related to life-span development.    

Introduction
Human development, in the context of positive aging, does not only occur during adulthood but rather, it is an on-going process of human experience which can be described in theoretical terms as an expression of human potentials. Recent studies indicate that such human experiences as well as potentials are useful in predicting arrays of elements of an individuals life such as health, life satisfaction and the degree of the old adults contributions to the society. The concept of adult development outlines that the individuals experiences are shaped by a host of conditional factors such health as well as heath care. This paper seeks to demonstrate adult education in the lens of stages of life and offer a concise description of how the concept of adult development can be applied to counseling and other psychological practices that focus on health care with regard to older people

Stages of Life and Adult Development
Psychologists have argued that adult development is the potential category of human experience that makes sense of the entire history of human endeavor. As such, it makes it possible for people to reach a newer understanding of human maturity. Stages of life are therefore a concise plan into the entire story of adult development and attempt to offers a definitive description of the potential in all human developmental structures (Hollis, 1993). . Accordingly, the concept of adult development holds that as an individual grows, learns and develops throughout his life, he transcends into adulthood which is perhaps a time with vast potential for people to chart out newer directions, lifestyles and choices.

According to Vaillant (2002), stages of life mark the sequence of adult development which moves from adulthood to old age. In the most fundamental sense, the question of development in adulthood is construed to be about getting older. With regard to issues of health care in old age, traditional psychotherapists look at how adults emotional lives as well as mindsets are a reflection of the childhood unconscious reenactment of conflicts and traumas. Various theoretical perspectives in adult development emphasis on the most fundamental element of mid life crisis in the development of an individual.  As a result, stages of life can be equated to structures within a corn, which entirely suggests all its potential stages of growth and development from seedling to sapling to a mighty tree (Hills, 2008).

Adult development has two broad landmarks which essential give a cognizance of the adult part of human life being divided into three areas of early, middle and late adulthood. Each of these areas as argued by Hollis (1993), summarizes the middle passage appraisal and are in themselves divided further into initial stages as well as culminating stages. In essence, these stages of life are structures intrinsic to the human being and they principally determine the phases of human growth.

The first three stages of life are in the primary sense associated with the gross dimension of existence. Research points out that they are the only stages in the schema with a more predictable framework. Although this phase takes on a foundational human maturity, Hill (2008) explains that they are more formative and include respectively physical development, development of sexual-emotional appraisal and the mental functions as well as the functions of the will. Successful completion of this phase of stages holds that psychological individuation full development of the will and a strong moral character oriented naturally towards the disposition of service is realized. Arguably, our seventy five year old man completed these first three stages to be a true adult and thus is an emotionally mature human being.

In a recent survey, it was argued that social factors, psychological traits and biological processes are identified as precursors for a healthy aging. The hallmark of adult development is old age and it is marked by dynamic character off ageing processes. It is imperative to outline that stages of life are defined within the parameters of three fundamental dimensions of life exemplified in gross, subtle and casual aspects as conditional human possibilities. For instance, the dimension of gross is applicable to the elemental physical body while the subtle aspect is composite of both personal and spiritual life which pervades the physical as well as the dimensions of the mind and the psyche (Vaillant, 2002). The final dimension casual aspect, becomes the deepest root structure of the conditioned human being and of attention to it self. This postulates the core sense of existence as a separate self Hill (2008) asserts that for a confrontation with personal mortality, developmental stages become the central issue in mid life development.

In the broadest sense, adult development and its philosophy inform us greatly on the whole concept of attitude towards life, emotional stability, learning as well as the health of an old adult. In a more developmental outlook, the stages of life are evidenced with middle passages which begins when one is obliged to ask a new, the question of meaning that somehow circumnutated their childs imagination but were effaced over the years. Hollis (1993) identifies that the middle passage begins when one is required to face issues that had been patched over, triggering the question of identity to come into play. For instance, if we hold a belief that people mature by passively absorbing knowledge and reacting to environment, our entire mindset about life is uniquely developed which influences adult development.

Adult development is associated closely to the idea of a social clock which sets when it is age-appropriate for certain life events to take place. In addition, it  is evident that cognitive, affective, evaluative as well as behavioral approaches within the outlook of socio-cultural development characterizes adult development and thus, the final stage of life in view of Vaillant (2002) is associated with the process identification with spiritual ascent. This is the stage of life with the ultimate process within the boundaries of the subtle dimensions of the being. This stage of life is characterized by profound spiritual as well as psychic experiences, ecstatic vision and mysticism. Marked by the transcendental consciousness, this stage is evidenced through the subjective dissociation from changes and phenomenon in the conditionally arising events in the world. As such, his loss of wife leaves him to associate his life with the casual dimensions of existence.

Vaillant (2002) outlines that the acquisition of moral principles and ideas, the development and character of ego, the changing nature of human relationships across life spans as  well as the clinical intervention in adult development, form the fundamental basis through which an individual ageing process is facilitated. The act of consciousness is central in the stages of life because, without it we may be run over by the complexies. The hero in each one of us is required to answer the call of individuation and hence the old man should turn away from the cacophony of the otherworld and be able to listen to his inner voice. Changing occur within the social constructions of entry into adulthood, and also in the social conception of the early adulthood and old age.

Current trends in the appraisal of adult development follows the suit of the growing number of older adults especially those aged eighty and above which has resulted in the redefining later adulthood. With many researchers approving the stability of personality at old age, older adults are viewed in the lens of public policy as the most vulnerable group that requires protection of their best interests. A society in which the developmental needs of adults are better understood or rather met, generatively attempt to fill their roles in the health care institution. Evidently, adult education compliments the psychotherapy field by providing the rationale for mid life transition as well as a measurement of the success achieved in integrating polarity as an element of affectionate curiosity about the old age.
Hill (2008) asserts that the concept of positive ageing describes the adverse effects of age on the lifetime of units. New theoretical frameworks for understanding the concept of ageing, especially as related to counseling application to health care of old adults, originate from the study which showed that positive ageing is associated with the need to find satisfaction in life regardless of the existent personal circumstances. Ideally most ageing adults tend to adopt affirmative lifestyle choices, coupled with positive spirituality for him to be able to age well.

This innovative approach to ageing as argued by Hill (2008) is designed in the promotion of well beings in the later life and provides seven strategies of aging spelt in the ability to learn, discover wisdom, strengthen relationships among others, as ideal blends to the general life paths in to keys of staying upbeat during challenging times. For example, the old man who is susceptible to health issues, efforts to get a better health program, thus demonstrating the assurance of sources of happiness that are inherent in the process of growing old. In other words, positive ageing, which is a factor in the stages of life, should not be confused to be how well individuals manage to dodge their infirmities but rather lies in the ability to focus on what makes life more worthwhile in old age in spite of the mental, emotional and physical challenges that may arise.

Psychological Practices on Health Care with Older Adults
Research points out that societal attitude can widely affect how old adults are perceived in the society thereby undermining the counseling practices that focus on health care with the adults (Vaillant, 2002). In addition, how the adults with health problems or in pursuit of health care considerably view themselves depending on the theoretical frame works with the fundamentals of adult development. For example, Hill (2008) surveyed inactive nurses in rural areas where the adults and the aging are located and found out that some of those nurses are themselves aged and thus undermine the health care system as well as the counseling activities such as psychotherapy. It is a matter of fact that these work without giving any other qualifiers.

Counseling psychology and other psychological practices are built around the foundations of researched adult development. According to Hollis (1993), efforts to facilitate the personal and the interpersonal function with regard to adults and their health care approaches are complimented by theories of adult development. This chiefly focuses on the emotional, social and health related developmental concerns. Counselors who largely use psychotherapy work on the guiding principle of all the models constructed by clinical psychologists with a succinct concern on adult development. Accordingly, their interventions towards treating their aged patients are bettered and made more effective.

Comparatively, it is noted that the traditional counseling focused a great deal on the normal developmental issues as well as stress rather than the psychopathology which addresses more extensively the issues of old age in the light of the dynamism in the society and human experiences. Vaillant (2002) further points out that the present psychotherapist apply methodologies of counseling concisely factoring n the question of supportive intervention and approaches for adults.

It is equally relevant to discuss that the body of research into the phenomenon of adult development has paved way for the psychological practices to operate on the paradigm of institutionalization and the field of ethical mandate to promote human health care. Hill (1993) underscores that the boundaries of these application have been broadened to accommodate the uniqueness of experiences that are characterized with theories of adult development. As such, these practices are based on a more foundational and transformative approach that is applied to a wide array of health care focusing on older adults.

Physical activities are among the examples of opportunities psychotherapist offer the older adults in a bid towards extending their active years as well as functional limitations. Hill (2008) identifies the many psychological practices for promoting physical activities in older adult. Focusing on older adults with chronic health issues, the approaches adopted include, a multidimensional activity program that includes endurance, strength, balance, and flexibility training, which is optimal for health and functional benefits, management of risk by beginning at low intensity but gradually increasing to moderate physical activity which has a better risk.

Moreover, the principles of behavior change including social support, self-efficacy, active choices, health contracts, assurances of safety, and positive reinforcement, enhance adherence and emergency procedure plan that is prudent for community-based programs and monitoring aerobic intensity most important for progression and for motivation. As a result, regular participation in physical activity is one of the most effective ways recommended for older adults within the precincts of counseling practice and health care and it extends to adults with disabilities. Perhaps, it aim at helping to  prevent chronic disease, promote independence, and increase quality of life in old age.

Conclusion
Adult development includes issues through which the adult grows in to an old person through the gradual accumulation of knowledge from a vast experience. It is evident that interactions between personal characteristics, individuals behavior, and social contexts such as environment impact heavily on the concept of adult development. It is important to note that the development of adult is marked with the inclination towards satisfaction and a sense of accomplishment but the many recent human life portend certain influx of dissatisfaction in life. Through the theoretical perspectives into the stages of life and the research done on adult development, the sense of failure that is characterized by stress, physical ailments, health issues and depression is able to be coherently addressed through the counseling practices with special focus on the old adults.

Humanity has been described in many theoretical descriptions of human potentials all expressed in the light of stages of life. The most certain things about life is that life in itself is a continuous and ongoing experience that offers ground for the development of who we are and what we become in later on. We continue to learn, grow and develop throughout our lives and adulthood is perhaps a time with vast potential for people to chart out newer directions lifestyles and choices.

Many critics have underscored that old age is the potential category of human experience that make sense of the entire history of human endeavor and as such, it makes it possible for people to reach a newer understanding of human maturity. Stages of life are a concise schema that offers a definitive description of the potential in all human developmental structures. The concept of adult development outlines that the individuals experiences are shaped by a host of conditional factors such as loss of a spouse. This paper seeks to discuss the stages of life focusing on a seventy five year old man and his grief as a result of loss of his wife within the parameters of his multicultural experiences of living and working in Switzerland and finally migrating America

Stages of life
According to Sigelman and Rider (2006), stages of life can be equated to structures within a corn, which entirely suggests all its potential stages of growth and development from seedling to sapling to a mighty tree. In essence, these stages of life are structures intrinsic to the human being and they principally determine the phases of human growth. It is imperative to outline that stages of life are defined within the parameters of three fundamental dimensions of life such as gross, subtle and casual as conditional human possibilities. For instance, the dimension of gross applies to the elemental physical body while the subtle aspect comprises of both personal and spiritual life which pervades the physical as well as the dimensions of the mind and the psyche. The final dimension casual aspect, becomes the deepest root structure of the conditioned human being and of attention to it self. This postulates the core sense of existence as a separate self.

Positive Ageing
Hill (2008) asserts that the concept of positive ageing describes the adverse effects of age on the lifetime of units. New theoretical frameworks for understanding the concept of ageing especially as related to the seventy five old Swiss, originate from the study which showed that positive ageing is associated with the need to find satisfaction in life regardless of the existent personal circumstances. Ideally most ageing adults like in our case point tend to adopt affirmative lifestyle choices, coupled with positive spirituality for him to be able o age well.

This innovative approach to ageing as argued by Hill (2008) is designed in the promotion of well beings in the later life and provides seven strategies of aging spelt in the ability to learn, discover wisdom, strengthen relationships among others, as ideal blends to the general life paths in to keys of staying upbeat during challenging times. For example, the old man, after retirement chose to migrate to America with the hope of enjoying his many years of hard work thus, demonstrating the assurance of sources of happiness that are inherent in the process of growing old. In other words, positive ageing, which is a factor in the stages of life, should not be confused to be how well individuals manage to dodge their infirmities but rather lies in the ability to focus on what makes life more worthwhile in old age in spite of the mental, emotional and physical challenges that may arise.

The first three stages of life are in the primary sense associated with the gross dimension of existence. Research points out that they are the only stages in the schema with a more predictable framework (Weinman, 2004). Although this phase takes on a foundational human maturity, Hill (2008) explains that they are more formative and include respectively physical development, development of sexual-emotional appraisal and the mental functions as well as the functions of the will. Successful completion of this phase of stages holds that psychological individuation full development of the will and a strong moral character oriented naturally towards the disposition of service is realized. Arguably, our seventy five year old man completed these first three stages to be a true adult and thus is an emotionally mature human being.

The Middle Passage in the Stages of Life
In a more developmental outlook, the stages of life are evidenced with middle passages which begins when one is obliged to ask a new, the question of meaning that somehow circumnutated their childs imagination but were effaced over the years. Hollis (1993) identifies that the middle passage begins when one is required to face issues that had been patched over, triggering the question of identity to come into play. In reference to our case in point, the middle age provides the seventy five year old Swiss, with the opportunity to reexamine his life and ask him who he is apart from his history and any possible roles he had played. The act of consciousness is central in the stages of life because, without it we may be run over by the complexities. The hero in each one of us is required to answer the call of individuation and hence the old man should turn away from the cacophony of the otherworld and be able to listen to his inner voice.

In addition, the stages of life have presented many individuals to be more resilient and happy than others as argued by Hollis (1993).What is important in positive ageing with regard to our case in point, is the sense of trust and the ability to accept his emotional life. Perhaps, his marriage was good at some point and thus it made him envision positive ageing at say 80 years old. In a recent study, it was found out that history, relationships, philosophies and hardships are the powerful forces behind the positive ageing (Rando, 2003). For example the seventy five year old man develops his perspective about life from his past experiences of the death of the first wife and the death of the second wife and somehow, this determines how he views life an aspect that greatly influences his ageing.

However, Weinman (2004) discusses that the old man can still learn what can make his old age vital and interesting. Irrespective of his multicultural perspectives in life and the bitter experiences of losing two wives and well as grief, the old man can explore the adult developmental tasks such as intimacy, identity and generativity so that he may be able to engage in a healthier satisfying and meaningful old age. According to research, health in old age is not a prediction of ancestral longevity or low cholesterol but more by factors such as a positive outlook, adaptive coping styles such as learning how o make lemonade out of the lemons of life and  on a serious note regular exercise (Vaillant, 2002).

The final stage of life in view of Vaillant (2002) is associated with the process identification with spiritual ascent. This is the stage of life with the ultimate process within the boundaries of the subtle dimensions of the being. For instance, after all that has happened to the life of the seventy five old man, following his being raised in Switzerland, his life, migration to America, retirement and service in both the military an as a teacher,  this stage of life him is characterized by profound spiritual as well as psychic experiences, ecstatic vision and mysticism. Marked by the transcendental consciousness, this stage is evidenced through the subjective dissociation from changes and phenomenon in the conditionally arising events in the world. As such, his loss of wife leaves him to associate his life with the casual dimensions of existence.

Grief and Loss of Wife
Although the death of a spouse may be an expected change in the life of an individual, it becomes a powerful loss of a loved one. This is because a spouse becomes more often than not, a part of the other in a unique way. The experiences and grief of many people, especially the seventy five year old man, can be described in the light of losing half of himself. It is evident that after a long marriage at his old age, the old man finds it very difficult in assimilating to begin a new. As a fact, Ambler (2007) argues that grief is normally heightened by the possibility of the apparent divisions of labor that were a fore. Therefore, dealing with grief and changes of life may mean an added responsibility to the old man hence he may contemplate social isolation, because of finding it difficult to adjust to a new identity.

According to Sigelman and Rider (2006) and with close connection to the mans case, his grief may be complicated or prolonged considering the fact that his first wife also succumbed to cancer hence, he is able to go passed the transient emotional and behavioral responses to loss. Further, Rando (2003) asserts that such form of grief may involve nightmare, problems of appetite as well as sleep disorders. It is difficult for him to integrate the circumstances of death or even the story of death and depending on his earlier degree of attachment with his wife, the unexpectedness and naturalness of death and others the level of his grief may be much more beyond our comprehension. Psychologists argue that in complicated grief, the bereaved will always act in denial of the fact a factor that make them to grieve the loss for years (Ambler, 2007).

Coping with Greif and Loss
With regard to the theories of adult development, there are more clinical approaches that can be engaged to help this old man cope with his grief and loss of his wife. To begin with, Rando (2003) underscores that while a significant loss like the old mans may be followed with all sorts of difficult and surprising emotions, such as shock, guilt and anger and while at sometime it may feel like the grief will never let up, accepting all the painful emotions as part of the grieving process is the right footing towards healing. As a result, it is advisable that the old man seeks support for grieving and bereavement such that he may go through it and express it in a more positive way for healing, which will eventually strengthen and enrich his life.

Moreover, the single most important factor for healing and dealing with the grief is looking for the support of other people. Even if it means that the old man is not comfortable talking about his loss and how he feels to people, sharing his loss will make his grief easier to handle and as Weinman (2004) puts Do not grieve alone because connecting with others will ultimately help you to heal. This kind of support may range from turning to his friends and families members, drawing comfort from his faith, joining a support group or most importantly, talking to a therapist or grief counselor. Ultimately, an experienced therapist will help the old man work through intense emotions and overcome obstacles to his grieving. Support group on the other hand will present a situation where the old man may shares his sorrow with others who have experienced similar losses which helps a great deal. Bereavement support groups can be accessed through the help of hospitals, hospices, funeral homes and counseling centers.

Conclusion
From the foregoing discussion, it is evident that as we grow older, we tend to slow down our productivity and contemplate our accomplishment in life. After retiring and migrating to the United States, the old man envisaged a life that was embedded with success but the death of his wife leaves him more dissatisfied with life and often developing despair that leads to depression. Through the stages of life and the psychological practices that focus on dealing with grief  among the adults, the final development task will be for the old man to develop feeling of integrity and  contentment if they choose and believe that he can lead a yet more happy and satisfying life.

The perception of light itself can be subjective. As Sir Isaac Newton told us, white light can be made to transform into various other colors of variable wavelength (Kusterer, 2007), some of which when mixed together result in other newer colors (Color Vision  Art). These colors, alongside transforming the world that we live in, tend to incite varying degrees of mood amongst humans and animals alike. While human perception of colors is somewhat subjective, some aspects of it can be said to have universal implications. The color red and others close to it such as orange and yellow are considered to be warm colors that incite feelings ranging from comfort and warmth to that of anger and hostility. Colors surrounding the blue end of the spectrum such as purple and green are observed to incite feelings of calmness, but may even resort to sadness or indifference depending upon the perceivers inclinations. These ideologies are what the ancient civilizations purported to use in their Chromotherapy sessions, using colors to heal and effect a persons mood in a positive way (Wagner) (Parker, 2001). Although some of the aforementioned ideologies may be generally accepted if perhaps still prone to skepticism at the hands of leading psychologists, it brings us to consider what exactly our eyes and its complementing visual system is designed to perceive, and its limitations. The anatomical details involved in the process include the photoreceptor mosaic on the retina, its sensitivity and properties of the object emitting the light.

The source could either be direct, such as from a light bulb, or reflected off of objects. The eye is designed to perceive that light where as the brain does the part of determining its origins and contrast it with an image. The multipurpose nature of the eye renders it in charge of refracting light through the cornea, control the amount of light entering the eye through the pupil, focus it to cast a picture on the retina and direct it via the optical nerve as electrical signals to the brain. Together this makes up the perception system of an individual, which has its own way of dealing with the varying degrees of light. The object of this paper is to discuss the changes the eye undergoes as dependent upon the light it perceives.

Light perception depends partly on the sensitivity properties of the photoreceptor mosaic on the retina. The mosaic comprises of three cone-type (responsible for perceptions of color) cells and one rod-type cell which alter themselves depending on the prevailing light conditions. The rod type cells are responsible for allowing low light visibility, and take over gradually as the light drops. The photoreceptor cones are active in brightly lit areas, sharing their contribution with the rods as the light gradually gets dimmer, so that at night when the light intensity is at its lowest (such as in moonlight), the entire vision is managed by rods.

Cones and rods have their own distinct characteristics when it comes to dealing with light. Where cones permit the perception of color, they also allow the retina to capture more detail than the rods would allow. Their response time is swifter than rods and as a result, their reaction to changing images is faster as well (Kandel, Schwartz,  Jessell, 2000). The transition from cone mediated vision to rod mediated vision is a particularly interesting phenomenon, and can be observed very easily by holding a torch in the dark and pointing it straight into the eye in front of a mirror. The pupil shrinks instantly, and the uncomfortable source of light (from the torch) is immediately detected. Contrast this reaction to when the torch goes off immediately afterwards, a faint bright spot is still visible after the source of light has stopped as the rods take over and try to adjust to the lack of light sources. This is a good example of the difference in response times between the two photoreceptors and the constraints placed upon the system by the front end.

Practical Assessment Exercise
The aforementioned transition from one extreme (cone receptors only) to the other end of the spectrum (rod only) can be more practically observed and felt from the first person perspective by observing a gradual change in lighting conditions. The torch example was too immediate and does not cover gradual, prominent changes in light intensity. Observing the sunset or sunrise would provide a good alternative for observing such a change, and thus I chose the latter for the purpose of this exercise.

The best position to take in order to observe the light changes especially in an urban setting is near the beach. The view of the horizon means the rising sun would be in clear view. Prior to the advent of dawn, and under the moonlight, the rod photoreceptors are at work and looking around the citys night lights does not yield much of a change whereas turning back to the skyline puts the black skyline into perspective. There is an obvious lack of perceptive colors, except for the grey of the clouds and the black of the sky, a feature dealt with by the cone receptors. As dawn begins to emerge, the movement of the clouds becomes more prominent. Light starts seeping through the horizon lighting up the sky in a distinct but slow fashion. Observing the intensity of light gain momentum this gradually makes the world transform right in front of your eyes. At this point it is hard simply to concentrate on the changes to the environment as it is a thought provoking setup, causing the mind to wander.

As dawn transitions into sunrise and light engulfs the sky, right before the tip of the sun is visible the world delves into rich perceptive colors that are easily distinguishable from the light orange of the dawn. As the sun rises, its initial brilliant shades of orange and yellow immediately strike the eye, transforming the world into a brighter place. The sun, previously bearable, now starts to gain intensity as it rises, filling up the horizon with startling shades of yellow until its visible fully, but quickly becoming hard to bear. Once the sun gains full intensity, the world becomes detailed, with smaller distant objects becoming part of the picture. Color variations are more prominent now throughout.

Reflection
The transition from rod-only vision to cone only vision was of particular interest during the transitory phase. In the beginning, as dawn starts to loom, the rod-only light-sensitive mosaic tends to retain whatever light its receiving from the moonlit beachfront, making way for the cone receptors to take over as dawn is in full swing. From this point on, the response to colors and the light changes are much sharper and faster, suggestive of the characteristics of cones. The vivid display of colors throughout the sky as the sun rears its head from the horizon also indicates that the cones are actively receiving long, medium and small wavelengths with the rising intensity of light. By the time the sun reaches its full glory, the eye lids shut themselves half way, indicative of the fact that although we are in cone-only mode, there is still light seeping in than the human retina can bear.

Falling in love is an experience that is highly sought after and valued in the West. The idea of romantic love is pervasively considered as the most important ground for marriage and relationship satisfaction (Hendrick and Hendrick 2000135). Romantic love is often characterised as an intense yearning for and need to be with another who is passionately desired (Montgomery and Sorell 199755) and urgent and intense feelings that attract and hold adults in relationships (Pistole 199415). What we observe about relationships at present, adds several questions on love as a concept and how people sustain their relationships and their marriage. There are normative perceptions on relationships, such as the ages that are most suitable for an enduring partnership. Generally, the average age gap in UK marriages is over two years and women marry men who are older (BBC News 2008). But what about those considered taboo relationships, such as age-gap relationships, or relationships characterised by a substantial age difference among its partners Will the age difference greatly affect the sustainability and satisfaction derived out of the relationship
The popular notion that love is blind supports the view that as long as such highly passionate feelings exists among couples, the relationship or marriage will work. Emphasis on love as a feeling is often high to the extent that the absence of such passion often merits a questioning of the success of a relationship. However, research reveals that there is more to relationship satisfaction than the presence of romantic love (Hendrick and Hendrick 1986). The intensity of romantic love experienced by couples seldom endures and seems to sustain the relationship only for a few months or years and eventually break up but some couples have succeeding in sustaining their intimate relationships.

Most writers now support the idea that people experience different types of love across time (Sternberg and Hojjat 1997). Consequently, people change their attitudes and beliefs about love as they and their relationships mature. Perhaps the most influential theorist who pursued the study of love across the developmental stages is John Lee (1973), who came up with the Colours of Love theory which eventually became the basis for the questionnaire called the Love Attitudes Scale (LAS) constructed by Hendrick and Hendrick (1986). Lee viewed love as having six typologies Eros (romantic love) Ludus  (game-playing love) Storge (friendship-based love) Pragma (practical love) Mania (obsessive love) and Agape (altruistic, selfless love) (Hendrick and Hendrick 1986393). Building on Lees theory and with the use of LAS, several studies on love, relationships, and relationship satisfaction emerged. These studies found that certain variables could explain for the differences in the love styles people experience, age being one of them.

Some writers concluded that peoples experience on loving evolves over time (Walster and Walster 1978 and Sternberg 1987). Almost all couples begin with passionate love in a relationship which gradually develops into companionate love. As couples become more familiar with each other, their notions on intimacy change from love dependent on physical attraction, passion, or emotional intensity to one that is grounded on affection (Walster and Walster 19789). Sternberg (1987) predicted that factors such as passion, intimacy, and commitment that a couple experience would evolve as the relationship matures  with passion and intimacy decreasing and commitment increasing, before gradually levelling off. Another study by Josselson (cited in Montgomery and Sorell 1997) showed that relationships eventually develop from one heavily focused on emotion and fantasy to one which centralises on cooperation and companionship.

If studies have noted changes across time on how people experience loving (from intimate to committed or from passionate to companionate), differences in attitudinal beliefs toward love have also been observed across different stages of adulthood. Hendrick and Hendrick (1986) suggested that over the course of a persons life span, there is a developmental sequence in love attitudes. People undergo a modal developmental sequence of love styles in the following manner adolescents are characterised by Manic love early adulthood is characterised by a preference toward Eros  during the middle and late years of adulthood, the love styles eventually evolve into Pragma or Storge. Research studies have also pinpointed preferences of love styles among younger and older partners involved in close relationships. For instance, younger partners are more inclined to perceive Eros (game-playing) or Mania (obsessive love) as positive predictors of love while older partners look at game-playing negatively (Grote and Frieze 1994, Frazier and Esterly 1990, and Butler et al. 1990). Other studies also indicate that older partners valued Agape (altruistic love), commitment, and loyalty to a greater extent than younger partners (Montgomery and Sorell 1997 and Gall et al. 2002).

The beliefs and attitudes that people attribute to love have a significant impact on relationship satisfaction (Hendrick, Hendrick, and Adler 1988). Several studies using the LAS as instrument have concluded that relationship satisfaction was greater among people who score high on Eros and Agape while satisfaction was significantly lower for those who scored high on Ludus (Frazier and Esterly 1990). Similarly, the strongest predictor of relationship satisfaction was Eros or passionate love (Contreras et al. 1996 and Inman-Amos, Hendrick and Hendrick 1994). Ludus predicted less satisfaction in the intimate relationship, while the same conclusion was limited only to men (Hendrick, Hendrick, and Adler 1988). Other researchers also revealed that more erotic partners were more satisfied with their relationships while the more ludic partners were less satisfied (Davis and Latty-Mann 1987 and Hendrick, Hendrick,  and Adler 1988).

Studies that examined the impact of age with relationship satisfaction have come up with mixed results. Some studies found that perceptions on satisfaction across age groups could be generalised. Reedy, Birren, and Schaie (1981) suggest that older couples equate satisfaction with commitment, mutual dependability, and loyalty, while younger generations of couples value commitment less and require honest and open communication. Moreover, the emphasis on erotic love is said to decline with age, and older partners in a relationship attribute satisfaction to companionship and cooperation rather than sexual desire (Hendrick and Hendrick 1995). Some studies have also shown that the age of partners in a relationship has minimal or no impact on reported levels of satisfaction (Schmitt, Kliegel, and Shapiro 2007).

These contradictory findings merit further investigation on the question What is the impact of age gap or age difference in reported levels of satisfaction among couples Hence, the present study.

Research Problem
This research aims to examine how age gap or age difference present in relationships can influence attitudes and beliefs on love and in consequence, relationship satisfaction. In its investigation, two instruments will be used  the Dyadic Adjustment Scale (Spanier 1976) and the Relationship Assessment Scale (Hendrick 1988).

The main focus of this research is to determine the impact of age differences in reported levels of relationship satisfaction among couples. Specifically, the study proposes to answer the following research questions, to wit

What are the attitudinal beliefs on love and relationship reported by the respondents
What is the level of relationship satisfaction reported
Do age differences have an impact in reported levels of relationship satisfaction

Research Importance
There has been increasing interest on relationship research as a field of study into human associations and relationships. Although there have been many studies that looked into relationship beliefs and relationship satisfaction, there has not been much emphasis on the role of the age gap or age difference in explaining possible variations in attitudinal beliefs on love among couples. Not only will this study be a welcome addition to the existing database of relationship research, it will also provide fresh insight into how differences in age among couples could impact their perceptions on love as well as their level of relationship satisfaction.

Research Objectives
In the conduct of this investigation, several research objectives are considered
To explain the importance of relationship beliefs in reported levels of relationship satisfaction. A primary objective of this study is to present the beliefs and perceptions couples have vis-a-vis their close relationships and how these beliefs may be influential in their judgments of how satisfied they are with their current relationships. In so doing, this research will be able to generate possible areas of implication for subsequent relationship studies and future research.

To examine the impact of differences in relationship beliefs and consequent agreement or disagreement on levels of reported satisfaction. This study will bring to light the different factors that may be the cause in differing levels of satisfaction reported between couples. Determining these factors will be crucial in exploring the impact they may have on future relationship longevity andor satisfaction.

To determine possible factors affecting reported relationship satisfaction. In the course of the research, factors including perceptions on love, sexual attitudes, level of relationship commitment, and self-admission may account for the variations of reported level of satisfaction among the respondents. Consequently, these factors may highlight an important area for future research that could build on the present literature.

Based on the results of answers, people who possess the same level of emotional intelligence just like mine have a barely acceptable ability in dealing with their own emotions and those of others. I agree that there are some problem areas I have to work on with my emotional capabilities in order to have sufficient emotional intelligence and have better relations with people. According to the results, I should start being more confident with my emotions and in building relationships. I also agree that I should stop worrying too much about how I present myself because this hinders my attempts to socially interact and get to know other people more.

This assessment is actually beneficial because I am beginning to see how important high emotional intelligence is in equipping me with the needed tools to build intimate and meaningful relationships with others. The results of the assessment have made me aware that I should be more comfortable in opening up to others and develop a more emphatic nature to be easily understood. By doing this, I may have higher chances of attaining a better working environment and a happier relationship with workmates. Also, I plan to continue being motivated to overcome all the troubles I encounter everyday. This determination and positivism may radiate to my workmates and help us all reach our goals.

Interpersonal Communication is defined as the communication process between two or more people. This form of communication is inescapable and this establishes the relationships we build with the people we meet in our lives. Interpersonal Communication could also be defined as the interaction we have with different people as we impart a personal part of ourselves to them. This self-assessment made me realize that I have been restricting my interpersonal communication skills and should therefore be more willing to relate with others in order to also nourish my ability to deal with the emotions.