Psychology

Traditional teenagers engage in a form of courtship or dating but may end up with serious emotional, physical and spiritual trauma if there is no serious commitment and the use of wisdom and knowledge.  Dating is a Western method developed by the teens to get to know the other.  It may be hard to define dating but 90 of the youngsters feel that dating is a form of relationship building, but often lacks true commitment for each other.  Rannikar considers dating to be a form of a relationship between a male and a female that goes beyond establishment of a close relationship.  Often girls or boys may merely seek something in such relationships including pride, sex, acceptance and love.  Both parties in a dating relationship consider that marriage is possible but is not important at that particular moment.  Hence, in a dating relationship, immediate or temporary pleasure may be sought which is against Christian morality.  Such a cause can lead to emotional and physical trauma.  In a dating relationship emotional and physical involvement may be sought without commitment for a long-lasting relationship (Hryshkanych, 2004).

In the Bible, dating or courting has never been mentioned as most of the marriages in the Bible were arranged.  However, today, the parents want the children to be more involved in decision-making and hence greater emphasis is laid on the children to date or court each other before the marriage.  Today parents are not following the Biblical method of marriage, which is due to a change in culture.  Also in such a relationship, there needs to be a balance between love life and God.  Patience also plays an important role in establishing a relationship with trust in God, to ensure fruits are provided from the relationship.  Advice from adults is also important in a courting relationship as they will provide wisdom and an outside perspective (Hryshkanych, 2004).  

The Christian view about mating is that sex or mating should only take place strictly only within a marriage.  Through marriages the love of the spouse and union with one and other would take place and the children obtained through such a union is a gift from God (VanOverloop, 2000).  Through mating and sexual activity, deep-rooted commitment for one and other is created (for caring, keeping each other happy and having a deep-rooted bond).  If a man and a woman engage in sexual activity outside the marriage, they are lying with their bodies and making false promises to one another.  Such a promise would not likely to be fulfilled.  A relationship of marriage is built on the grounds of faithfulness and honesty to one another.  The Bible regularly forbids sexual activity outside marriage or adultery.  Through marriage both the man and the woman makes a commitment to one another (NIV Bible, 2010).

Dating is permitted in Christian practice provided the aim of such dating is marriage and to establish a lifelong relationship.  Before dating, wisdom and knowledge should be utilized and the ultimate goal should be fulfilled rather than to achieve temporary pleasure.  Dating should not be organized with a non-believer, but with a person who trusts and believes in the Lord.  The ultimate aim of dating would be to know one another before marriage.  On the other hand, mating is a way of expressing commitment and faithfulness to the other partner and hence should be organized within the marriage.  Adultery has been forbidden in the Bible.  The ultimate aim of dating and mating is to establish a lifelong relationship of trust, faith and commitment to one another and a gift to this relationship are God-given gifts of children to the couple (NIV Bible, 2010).