Psychology

Codependence or codependency is a tendency to behave in ways that affects an individuals ability to have a healthy, mutually pleasing relationship. This is referred as relationship addiction because individuals with codependency often maintain or form relationships that are emotionally destructive, one-sided and abusive. Symptoms related to codependency normally fall into 3 categories Denial patterns People fail to observe their correct nature of their behavior often. For example, they may think that they are totally generous and are devoted to others needs. They may also refuse that the other individual has any troubles (King, 2006).Low self esteem patterns People estimate themselves much too cruelly and do not recognize themselves as valuable or adorable. They give value to the opinions of others more than their own, which may make them also uncertain. Compliance patterns People may be eager to compromise their own principles and honesty in order to prevent refusal or irritation from others. For example, those people may involve in sexual relationships to look for approval or prevent refusal. These people may also keep their interests or hobbies aside in order to follow those of others (King, 2006).

Symptoms of codependence
1. Lack of belief in self and also in others2. Continuous annoyance toward self and others3. Trouble making choices and conversing with others4. Show signs of anxiety and depression5. Give importance to the permission of others than self6. Unhealthy reliance on relations, doing everything for holding on to a relation and avoiding the feeling of rejection7. Trouble adjusting to modifications, retains stiff control8. Constantly doing additional than their share 9. Feel upset when other people do not realize their hard work, become annoyed when their assistance is not helpful10. Overstated sense of accountability for the others actions 11. Uncomfortable to accept appreciation or honor12. Thinks other people are responsible for their gladness and feels irritated when other people do not give equal concentration to them that they give to others 13. Accepts physical, sexual or verbal abuse 14. Low self-esteem and judges self cruelly 15. Lying and being deceitful to retain control 16. Fear of rejection and isolation 17. Finding difficulty to recognize their own feelings18. Not identifying restrictions in relationships and trouble with closeness19. Feels blameworthy when being self-confident20. Sequence of laziness and hyperactivity 21. Gives favors, gifts and advice in spite of how long they know about other persons and becomes friendly to others too quickly 22. Accepts unnecessary gifts, touch or sex, permits others to control their life, expect others automatically will satisfy their needs23. Controlling others and feels others are not capable of caring for themselves24. Talking to other persons intimately on the first meeting, becoming involved sexually on first meeting and touching other person without even asking25. Secondary physical symptoms include ulcers, headache, insomnia, sleep disorders and other stress related diseases (Bipolar Central, 2004)

Diagnosis for codependence
Diagnosis for codependence can be difficult as the severity differs from person to person. To recognize the condition, mental healthcare professionals ask several questions. These questions includeIs the patient going to extreme levels to stop quarrellingIs the patient excessively worried about the others judgmentsIs the patient dislike to convey hisher true feelings to othersIs the patient physically or emotionally ill-treated ever Is the patient normally felt inadequateIs the patient lived ever with someone who has problem of chemical dependencyIs the patient feel abandoned when the significant other spends their time with their friends Is the patient having any difficulties in accepting gifts or greetingsIs the patient have any trouble in saying no when anyone asked for helpIs the patient thinks like a bad person after doing a fault Is the person feels that without their help, others will fall apart (King, 2006)

Treatment for codependence
Several forms of therapy may be used to treat codependency, including group therapy, individual therapy, cognitive behavior therapy and family therapy. Patients discover the issues that led to this form of destruction from their childhood. During treatment process, patients are encouraged to rebuild family dynamics. The goal of the treatment is to have patients connect again with their feelings. Codependency treatment will be successful only when the patient finds out and stop their behavior that has harmful consequences (King, 2006). Codependency is viewed as a type of addiction. The symptoms of codependency can be treated with a 12 step process called codependents anonymous (Ploskin, 2007). Twelve step programThe twelve-step program brings all the codependents as a group together to speak about their efforts and share hope and practices. The 12-step process is nondenominational and includes spirituality. The meetings of codependents anonymous offer great source of emotional and realistic support to the participants. The recovery process involves confessing their life has become uncontrollable because of their codependence. It needs expressing their feelings, doing what they can to get recovered and allowing to go of things that they cant control (Ploskin, 2007). In the 12-step program, the patients have to make recovery as a first priority. Like other addictions, codependence is also dangerous patients may recognize the symptoms, but reject their significance, or reject that they are applicable to them (Simko, 1996).

Patients decide to change, but after time passes, they repeat the same old things. Making recovery as a top priority means summarizing the negative behaviors, discovering alternative behaviors, and then executing them. This means, patients should attend the meetings, challenge themselves, talk with others about changing the behavior and then changing the behavior (Simko, 1996).The patients should identify with others in the group and start to know about themselves. The more the patients learn about the disease, the more they can find how the disease crawls into every phase of life and harsh it can be. Paying attention to others and making out with them can help the patients to identify themselves and understand better. These are the primary steps in the way of accepting, loving themselves and putting top principles and more suitable goals (Simko, 1996). The patients should stop supervising and controlling other people. They should stop overruling, helping, trying to make things improved, trying to force to follow the solution and advising. They should allow others to make their own judgments (Simko, 1996). This comprises taking blame for their own faults, their sadness, their matters and their personal development.Patients should face their own difficulties and deficiencies. When patients does not involve in other persons life, they may get more time and strength to concentrate on their own life (Simko, 1996). The patients should become selfish at this point and give importance to them first. They should be sure that their essential needs are fulfilled first before giving away their time, money, energy and any other resources. They should make sure they are getting their sleep, meals, peace and other important things (Simko, 1996).

Differences between caring, loving and codependency
Caring means being sensitive to other peoples feelings, treating people with kindheartedness and generosity, thinking about how their actions will affect other people, helping people who are in need, giving time to the people, and never be mean or insensitive.Ex Children taking care of their parents when they are in old age. Loving means nurturing and supporting our own and others spiritual growth. This type of behavior is intended to give something helpful like compassion, support and understanding to ourselves and others. Loving is a rewarding behavior in itself and does not expect an outcome or getting something back.Ex Parents love their children as it gives joy and satisfaction to them and they do not expect anything in return from their children.Codependency characterizes an entire range of feelings, values about ourselves, symptoms and behaviors. The important characteristic of the codependency is a big focus on another individual. The other individual may be lover, spouse, boyfriendgirlfriend or a significant other. A person who shows codependency symptoms focuses on everybody else rather than himherself (Simko, 1996). Ex When a group is going to a restaurant, everyone tries to decide where to go, but the codependent person will object saying, any place is ok for me. This policy may be helpful in a group to decide the place easily, but this is a problem for the codependent as the person lacks in decision making ability (Simko, 1996).