Divorce and the impact of divorce on children
Divorce in modern societies is considered as one of the major issues that needs consideration. Divorce has been studied with the impacts that it has on children. This paper shall be covering, in brief, the effects that divorce leaves on children in terms of their psychological upbringing, their social life and their education. This paper shall look into the various angles in which divorce affects the children.
There are many points of views that have been given in relation to the impacts of divorce on children. One view refers to the fact that impacts of divorce are stronger on the children as compared to the couple that goes through the procedure of divorce. To aggravate the impact, children are given the least possible attention. The second point of arguments discusses the ways in which the children exhibit these impacts. Behaviors that are reflected by the children according to the arguments include anger, lawlessness, guilt, violence, destructive demeanor in the schools and in societies as well as a failure to accept their responsibilities. (DOnofrio, Turkheimer, et al. 2007, p. 667).
Another round of discussion laid emphasis on the ways in which parents behave during divorce procedure. These behaviors also bring variations in the impacts of divorce on their children. Some other factors that have been highlighted in the same set of arguments state that age, gender, psychological condition and maturity of a child also decide how a child copes with the impacts of parental divorce.
It has been studied and observed that the main impacts that divorce has are on the educational achievements and social demeanor of a child. These two areas define a childs personality and the intellect. Thereby there are many studies conducted in order to study in detail the impacts that divorce has on a child.
Divorce rates
Prior to studying the impacts of divorce on children, a fact that has to be taken into consideration is that divorce rates have been rising sharply in many countries including the United States since the 1970s. The numbers say that out of 1000 women, 5 women aged above 19 years get divorced. Divorce rates are much higher in industrialized counties. There are two main reasons for the family break up. Employment rates are higher in industrialized and developed nations thereby the dependency of men and women on a stable survival based on finances and economies is lesser. Older times were known for the beliefs existing in the societies stating that sexual activity was limited to an idea of having children. In the 20th century, this idea has been limited to having fewer children that makes separation for men and women easier.
An idea of birth control emerged in the United States in 1960s. Although the effects that this campaign desired are to be seen in the modern society but there are other factors that are increasing the currently raising divorce rates.
Effects of divorce on children
Couples undergoing the process of divorce usually ignore the effects and impacts that this procedure has on their children. There are varieties of ways in which the children suffer after divorce.
It has been argued that the impacts of divorce do not trouble all the children belonging to divorced parents. Thus, there is a class of children who suffer the consequences of divorce in a lesser ratio, comparatively. In this case, it has been studied that children belonging to divorced parents are likely to face troubles in the same ratio as compared to the children living in two-parent families. Thus, there is a chance that 70-85 of the children from divorced families will not face the difficulties as compared to some vulnerable children. Although the children whose families are undergoing divorce are at a higher risk to face the difficulties, still there is a higher chance that most of the children do not undergo profound problems which are interconnected with the divorce.
Problems faced by children
Behavioral problems
Aggression and impacts on girls and boys
In this case, another set of argument that has been given says that behavioral patterns that are shown by the children are different in boys and girls. Levels of aggression that are seen in the children are higher in boys as compared to the girls. Aggression makes boys face difficulties in building relationships with their classmates, peers as well as teachers. Levels of focus, determination and concentration required in academics are significantly reduced owing to higher depression and isolation. Thereby boys are more likely to concentrate worse on school tasks. Moreover, boys are seen to be involved in street crimes, gang formations and drug usage along with substance abuse. Thereby a conclusion that can be effectively drawn here is that boys have ways to manage their anger and aggression by being involved in illegal activities inside and outside of schools.
Research shows that boys belonging to the divorced families face more difficulties as compared to the girls. The research is supported by the findings from the modern day societies. After a couple goes through divorce, joint custody arrangements are ordered by the courts that result in fathers being more involved in the lives of their children. Mothers are less involved and it has been observed that mothers are generally more keen towards social activities exhibited by their children and this guidance is absent in a father.
In earlier ages, behaviors that were shown by the boys and girls were different but as they reached their adolescent ages, social behaviors shown by boys and girls were almost the same. Both boys and girls are seen to be associated with negative conducts including sadness.
Exceptions are always there. It has been seen that there are some girls who come out of the depressive phases of divorces while living under a single parent headed household and they prove to be smarter and more resilient young women. This is explained by the fact that some women learn to live under the pressures of more responsibilities and challenges that they face while living with a single divorced parent. These girls are considered to have stronger ties with their mothers, peers, and schoolmates, in addition to better performance in schools and universities.
Academic issues
The major problem that is faced by the divorced familys children relates to their education. School authorities highlighted many behaviors in children who belong to divorced couples (Stevenson, and Wolfers, 2006, p. 270).
Behaviors associated
The children who overall reflect troubles in their education and academics show higher aggressive behaviors. These children are more likely to get involved in verbal arguments with the school authorities and physical fights with their schoolmates. They also have lower self esteem, lack self confidence and are usually in a depressed state of mind. There is a higher chance that these children select isolation over a healthier social life. All in all, they are difficult to reach and show no interaction with their school mates, siblings or friends including parents.
When these children reach their teenage period, they are more involved in delinquent and lawless activities. These activities mostly include aggressive activities as making gangs on streets and thus engaging in lawless activities including drugs and violence. These children belong to a class of teenagers who face difficulties in developing intimate relationships with family members and parents and in an establishment of independence from their families.
Girls are more likely to hide their aggression, thus being more depressed. Being depressed and isolated from the social life makes them less focused on schoolwork. Especially in the case of adolescent girls, they face issues as teenage pregnancy and parenting. These major factors hinder in the education of these destressed girls making them unable to earn a good living. It has been determined that success in school life is a factor of success in life of a child.
Academic outcomes
In order to establish a conclusion of impacts of divorce on childrens education, standardized test scores, school and class absentees, grades as well as their dropout rates are taken into consideration. In this case, it has been generally observed that the children who belong to the divorced parents exhibit poorer grades and scores in school tests. These results are concomitant with the research carried out since three decades. The other factor that has been highlighted by this research is due to an observation of the parents and teacher reports. These reports show that mentors as well as parents of the child often ignore the difficulties that a child faces.
Moreover, the difficulties that are faced by the children in schools are more related to their behaviors rather than to their intellectual abilities. Here it can be argued that the children who are in their depressed state of minds are more likely to engage in non educational activities as compared to children belonging to healthy families. This relates to the aggression level in the former class of children. Interests in education and learning go through a sharp decline in children belonging to the divorced couples. Thereby an argument that aggression in these children has a link with their intellect is not pragmatic (Regoli, Hewitt, and DeLisi, 2009, p. 67).
Changes in behavior with a childs age
It has been observed that children of 3 to 5 years of age tend to be fearful, exhibiting immature and aggressive behaviors. As observed, these children are more likely to return to their security blankets and depend on their toys. Confusion is generally observed in these children as being less mature and they cannot decide what is happening. However, this situation is rather short lived.
Preschool children display less cooperation and imagination. Anxiety, anger and apathy are seen in these children isolating these children from their societies. These children are observed to play with themselves rather than with their school mattes or family friends.
Children between 9 to 12 years of age understand the meaning of divorce and try to cope with the event of family breakage. Although the presence of feelings as disappointment, resentment and aggression cannot be underestimated but these children are seen to be involved in activities that help them cope with these feelings.
Adolescents, on the other hand, find it hard to cope with these feelings. Although adolescents are more mature as compared to children, they have more ways to align their aggression and depression thereby they are more involved in illegal conducts as compared to younger children.
Interventions needed
There is an intervention required in order to support the children who belong to the divorced families. Parents need to remember that the process of divorce is more stressful for their children as they observe a family breaking into parts. Teachers and mentors need to design the strategies after noticing and observing certain changes in usual behavior of a child. Research shows that there are usual behavioral changes that are noticed in children going through the process of divorce. The main activities that are worth consideration include aggression and regression from peer activities in societies and in schools.
Conclusion
Divorce rates are rising sharply in many countries and countless factors add up to it. Other than the interventions that are needed to lower the rates, there are steps and strategies required in order to help the children who have suffered from the impacts of divorce. Children who are more vulnerable to these effects are more likely to suffer from the consequences all their lives as the effects start from a failing academic career. Teachers and divorced parents need to identify the signs in children that reflect depression and anger in children so as to support them at the time of need.
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