Psychology

Mike Schneider and I met online through one of the chat services in the internet. We dated online for a period of about two years. This is the dyadic encounter that I have had with a person whom I am currently involved with in a relationship. He is my husband and we have grown from the online dating that finally led to marriage. The first time that we met face-to-face was when I travelled to Brazil from US to visit him. We have been living together for four years though we have known each other for the last seven. We are currently married and happen to have a great relationship. Just like those in any relationship, we seem to share some traits. On the other hand, we have some others that are different but this does not affect our relationship much. In Mikes view, our relationship seems to take a storyline that can only be described by the movie Notebook. A very notable peak experience in our relationship was when we got married. This is due to the fact that we had taken quite some time to know about each other first before we decided to get into marriage. Both of us are hot-tempered, a trait we have learnt to deal with and as such we cool down relatively fast enough not to stay mad at each other for long. Despite the fact that my husband is shy, his greatest asset is his personality. Though he is timid when we meet new people, he insists that I have made him friendlier. Despite his being shy and timid when we meet new people during social intercourse, he confesses to be proud of me during social situations like party gatherings and so on. This is attributed to the fact that I am comparatively more outgoing. A trait he is jealous of. During the administering of the questionnaire to my husband, he stated that he was very glad to be assisting me to do my homework. One fact that drew me close to Mike is that he is very helpful and does not seem to mind getting out of his way to assist in any way that he can. During the session, he reminded me that he was glad to be there with me going through the questions. This shows his appreciative nature towards the contribution that he can make towards helping those close and dear to him. Another thing I noted during our first meeting is that Mike is a very open person even judging from the way he did not beat about the bush while answering questions from the questionnaire. In as much as he gave concise answers, he was very sincere.

A clearly proud husband as stated earlier, Mike declares his pride for me when I achieve my goals. Love is a feeling that seems to trouble him a lot. It might stem from the fact that he might not have a way of expressing it but all the same, I have come to accept this side of him. He confesses to not wanting to change anything about me. This is a confession that goes a long way to show his secure nature around me. I acknowledge this as one of the signs that you partner is more comfortable around you when he does not express any form of insecurity. Mike has a near-religious fear for lack of money. That explains his hard-working nature. He always seems to be busy doing this and that so as to keep us comfortable. He likes it when I laugh but does not like my talking during a favorite program on television. Prime-time news also almost absorbs all his attention and gets him very annoyed when I start up a conversation or even continue with one as it comes up. In as much as his smoking habit bothers him, he still considers his great personality as his greatest strength. On the other hand, my habit of listening to loud music seems to bother him too. Whenever he is not comfortable answering questions, he ignores them. This contributes greatly to my winning most arguments as he is not argumentative. Keeping an argument going for the sake of it does not interest him and as such, he lets me have my way when we have very heated arguments. The experience has been great to him but something he talks a lot about is his childhood. He grew up in Brazil and thats what he talks a lot about. When asked what he would do with all the money in the world if he had it, he alludes to his generosity by saying that he would share it with me. Consequently, I conclude that his generosity also attracts me to him. A relationship always thrives when partners are not stingy with what they have. Not only does this apply to money and other material things but it also does to other things that can be shared like time and knowledge. This strengthens any relationship and helps built a strong bond of trust between the partners. Never the less, he seems not to be generous sharing his feelings with me when he is worried or upset but all the same wants to be with me when he feels sad.

Mike confides that he likes doing everything that we do together though he wonders whether we will have kids one day. Having different views on bringing up children together has contributed a lot to our having many arguments as he seems keen on kids. I conclude that he loves having a big family. Couples always have to look at so many factors before deciding to have kids as it is currently quite expensive bringing them up especially in the US. When Mike gets into a situation, I never let him explain what went on and this seems to frustrate him. In any relationship, there are some things that always hold the partners together. In our case, our love and friendship, the house and our pets hold the relationship together. We keep dogs as pets and they provide us with something to laugh about and company that we might not get from not having kids. When I asked him about how he feels when we fight, it looked like a dangerous question. All the same, he painted fights in the marriage as a source of depression and would not want them to be frequent in the relationship. At any one point in a relationship, a fight would come up. My view is that these are healthy but should be handled with care so that they do not characterize the relationship and be a consistent part of it. At that moment, he declares the question session a happy moment and goes ahead to say that what would make him happier was if we talked more about our future. A pattern of friendship that is steadily growing is what Mike has noted about our relationship and wishes that I could be alerting him when I dont feel well. The growth in friendship seems to underline his wish for the relationship to grow stronger. He is definitely very caring in nature. His curly hair is a part of him that he least likes. This, however, does not make him insecure at all as he has come to accept his body as it is. Insecurities might be built around a body part that someone does not like. His likes his eyes most. They provide him with a lot of self esteem. This does not also imply that he has any self-esteem issues. To strengthen relationships, couples usually take time out from their day-to-day life and visit locations that they are interested in. At one time, we were to visit Rome but due to one thing or the other, we missed the trip. This is one of the times in our relationships that Mike seemed so bothered in the relationship. He had looked forward to the trip so much so that when we had to cancel it, he felt as if we had missed a chance to interact and keep the relationship on the high note it had enjoyed. This seemed to emphasize his value for the love that we share in the relationship.

From the encounter, I have come to learn that I am hot-tempered. My social skills are good. This was displayed when I flew all the way to Brazil to go and visit Mike, a person I had not set my eyes on my whole life. During the whole visit, we talked as if we had known each other for a very long time. I can also consider it adventurous to go looking for someone with whom you have been chatting with over the internet. I can say that I am very trusting. Going by the trust that I had in Mike all the time we chatted, I would declare it the aspect that kept the online relationship going all the while we were not able to see each other. On the other hand, Mike is a consistent character. He never seems to get tired of taking care of my needs. He is considerate as he is concerned so much about my feelings. He is patient enough to stand my liking for loud music and still be open about how it makes him feel. In conclusion, I find relationships that stem from dyadic encounters hard to sustain as most of the people involved in them are usually not ready to open up and share their sincere feelings about topics they find rather awkward to discuss. All the same, my marriage to Mike is proof that dyadic encounters have exceptions that end up leading to long-lasting relationships. It is mainly through the developing of traits that enhance tolerance of each other that these relationships can survive.