Psychology

HEY
My Summary
Cloud, Henry 2004. Nine things you simply must do to succeed in love and life. Nashville, TN Thomas Nelson.

Cloud (2004) interestingly has taken his observations of human behavior to another level when he wrote about the key principles that would ensure personal success in love and life. His repeated encounters with people who share the same patterns of behaviors has led him to believe that understanding and learning these patterns would help in bringing about change and improvement in ones life. Dj vu people are those whose successful ways Cloud had witnessed over and over again (8) and from whom he had derived the nine principles in life that are important for success in love and life. Cloud discusses that those nine principles are hidden in plain sight they are within our realm of consciousness but that not many people are able to recognize or use it effectively (13). Cloud said that all of us has dreams and desires that due to our personal circumstances may have been brought to realization or may have been buried under anger, hate, depression or lack of confidence and self-esteem (25) the most important thing is for us to do is to return to those desires and dig it up, even if it meant confronting all the negative things that comes with it (35).

Cloud also observed that dj vu people are able to attain success and move on with their lives amidst negativity and setbacks because they are able to pull themselves from those situations (43). It is also important to visualize our hopes and dream in order to make it a reality, there is so much that we think about and fear, but as dj vu people have done, they go ahead and commit themselves to their dreams and desires and set it in motion (72). Cloud argued that it is important to take action and to be like an ant when it comes to accomplishing what we want to be and do (120). Moreover, dj vu people do not get consumed by hate and anger when they confront people who make their life difficult, they simply push forward and transform the hate to a resolve to do better (155).

Successful people do not always get what they want and there is the need to strategize and maximize their chances of reaching their goals (173), but dj vu people do not bask in their triumphs nor they flaunt their accomplishments, instead they remain sincere, generous and positively infectious in their optimism and hopefulness (197). Lastly, Cloud said that it is important to upset the right people because it would mean that you are doing the right thing, if people who are loving, responsible and honest people are upset, then we must take heed and look over our actions, but if we upset the controlling, manipulative and negative people, then we must be doing the right thing (233).

Cloud ends the book with a personal revelation about his own journey in life and how God has pointed him to the right profession. He offers four tips in becoming a dj vu person, which centers on Gods work in our lives and surrendering our selves to Gods design (238). He also outlines twelve steps in how to use the nine principles, from not doing it alone to accepting help from others (248).

YOU
My Reflection
I have to say that I was not enthusiastic about reading this book, I have read a number of self-help books and after some time, they all sound the same.  And I was not wrong, the first chapters were common place, although the introduction of the concept of dj vu people was an interesting one, then halfway through the chapter, I realized that I was experiencing exactly what the author meant when he said dj vu, that is, I have recognized the patterns in this book with the others I have read. So I set my prejudices aside and tried to keep an open mind while reading the book. I found the book generally helpful and interesting especially with the numerous dj vu people that the author used strategically to illustrate his ideas. What touched me though was his illustration of how two people with the same desires and dreams end up with different realities because of their backgrounds and life experiences (26). I had been fortunate to come from a home that encouraged our talents and abilities, and I am thankful for that. I suddenly missed my mom and wished that I could see her soon and tell her how thankful I am for all the love and care she had given me. I also was hurt while reading about the other person whose dreams and life did not turned out right because I had observed those happen countless of times to young teenagers that I volunteer with. In the times when they are given the opportunity to exercise their creativity and talents, they do so surprisingly well but if you ask them if they want to pursue their interests, they have this look in their eyes that tells me that they have given up hope. I think that it is easier to read and think about the nine principles for success, but confronting the ghosts and pain of the past is difficult to do, especially if we do not have any support and guidance.

LOOK
My Investigation
I had been skeptical about this book, because I do not put too much credit on self-help books, not because I dont believe in the wisdom of psychology and existential questions about life but because I know that it takes a strong will and resolve to be able to become successful and happy in ones life. In a perfect world, we would all have the same opportunities, same talents and abilities and would be able to achieve all that we desire to be. But in reality, there is huge difference among us, that what may work with one person may not necessarily be true to another. I was concerned that Cloud (2004) claimed that the nine principles he had identified is true for all and that not using them would be futile even disastrous for people like us (7). Although I have heard some of the nine principles he outlined, some are quite common sense and are actually values that have withstand the test of time. Like for example, he said that in order to be successful we should be like an ant and we should be humble. Ants have long been marveled for their industriousness and perseverance and is it not a given that if we are industrious, hardworking and persevering, then we will become successful I mean, I dont need a book to tell me that.

The examples he gives are quite well chosen, but it just means that he is looking for stories or experiences that validated his claims about the nine principles. I was expecting him to be more detailed, more succinct about his nine principles, but he failed to do that. What he did though was to enrich his discussions with scripture, I found that very comforting and it did made some of his arguments more sensible. Cloud (2004) views the self as the initiator, motivator and actor whereby success is possible if the self is integrated and functioning. This is similar to Rices (2009) view of the self wherein he advocated the multi-faceted view of the self the fragments need to be integrated as a whole in order for it to function effectively.

DO
Although this book have not given me life-altering views or information, it has reinforced my own beliefs about personal growth, that no matter what our circumstances in life are, it is still up to us to make the decision and to choose the path of growth and progress. Cloud has proven to some extent that success is possible for all kinds of people, given the right push and shove. And it has made me realize that I may be of help to more people than I think I can be. The teens I come across with in my volunteer work can be made to realize that they can still dig up their desires and that they can still bring those dreams to reality. Even with my friends and family members, I might be more present in their lives and inspire them to be more than what they are now by becoming an example or a support system.

What was also good with this book is that he had extensively used counseling encounters with his patients to illustrate his points that it has given me an idea of how to respond and to assess the different concerns of people, may it be about personal issues, relationships, work or even social responsibilities. Like Cloud, I aspire to be of service to others, and this is the vocation that I want to take, but I now realize that I have so much more to learn and improve in my own personal life before I could become an agent of change for others. I need to concentrate more on improving my interpersonal skills and my relationships with others, as well as focusing on how to integrate my spiritual beliefs to the counseling profession.

I also agreed with Clouds belief that God sees through our pain, worries and dreams and that we only need to call on Him and to trust that He will send good people to help us choose the right direction. I have been blessed to have such good people in my life and as a way of spreading Gods love I would also like to be an inspiration for others. Cloud also made me see that we can never accomplish greatness or success on our own, that, first it must come from God and second, we must acknowledge and accept that some people who are better than us is there to help us along the way and not to put us down. I have often balked at asking people for help, because, I have been taught to rely on myself and to trust that God will do the rest this book proves that God uses other people to help us be more caring, loving, responsible, righteous, and full of wisdom.

Finally, I will probably be less judgmental of authors who claim to have found the formula for success in life and love. I will keep an open mind and trust that everything is an opportunity for learning. We never know that hidden among the pages of words, is a snippet of wisdom that will inspire us to be better than what we are now.