Psychology

The most important day I can remember was the day I graduated from high school. My parents were so incredibly proud of me, and I was on top of the world. My family was not rich. Dad and Mom have had to work hard for everything we have, and if that meant working weekends or holidays to make sure I had new gym shoes or educational toys and books than that is what they did. They always made sure that there is plenty of food and we never doubted that they love us. This day brought wonderful memories of the childhood I was leaving behind but more so, it made me appreciate my parents more.

They say your childhood basically shapes the person you will become as an adult. As asserted by Bee and Bjorklund the first years of life allow individuals to learn, grow and develop insights on all aspects of life. During my studies at preschool and elementary school, I was always keen to learn and this made me very inquisitive. Erikson detailed this stage as the industry vs. inferiority stage where I was capable of learning and developing new skills and knowledge. Both my parents and teachers were there to assist me and also guide me through the right path. If it was not for my parents insights and advice, I would not have made it through high school successfully. Indeed, they taught me the importance of education and encouraged me to work hard so that I could emerge independent.

This lesson has contributed to most of the choices and decisions I have made while growing up. I started working to start saving for college when I was 16, my first job was in a fast food restaurant, even though I hated it, I did the work because that is the big lesson my father taught me, if you want something you have to work hard for it. I also had to work hard to keep my grades up.

High school was tough for me because I did not really know where I fit in. I was not a jock, and did not really fit with the popular kids, but I was not a druggie, a gangster, or Gothpunkhippie either. Bee and Bjorklund note that at the stage of adolescence individuals are keen to discover their identities which contributes to the growth of their personalities. The search for my own identity was not difficult and at the same time I was determined to ensure that this stage did not affect me negatively.  By the time I was eighteen I had found a few friends that had the same interests as I did and I had gotten involved in the school newspaper and other extracurricular activities. My choice of friends made it possible for me to develop into a better person and find my own path in life without the negative influence of others.
   
Although graduation was important for me, it was not the real transition for me.  Mom and Dad still treated me like I was a teenager, I had a curfew and was expected to get a summer job and follow their rules. But at the same time I was expected to take on some adult responsibilities in terms of more adult chores around the house, and in contributing some money towards the household expenses. That summer was the busiest summer of my life. For the first time ever I was working full time. I made shift manager at the restaurant I had been working at since I was fifteen and was responsible for making sure that the 6 other people (including people much older than me, who had been there longer) did their jobs properly. Dont get me wrong, I was proud about the promotion and it would look really good on my resume, but I wasnt free to be a carefree teenager anymore. At this point in my life I was being an adult way before was done being a teenager. However, I hoped that this would work to my advantage in the future.
   
I was also busy getting ready to leave for college. I had to figure out what my main interests were in terms of my major, my classes and my future career. I knew I wasnt truly interested in Business Management working in the restaurant industry helped me figure that one out. I thought about it and discovered that what I really wanted was a major and a future career that would allow me to help others. My parents had taught me as a child the importance of generosity and kindness. They had also taught me to value others and to offer help to those who were in need. I have always loved helping people out and even felt quite fulfilled every time I knew I had been of help. At this transitional stage in my life, I knew I had to pick a career path in a field I would love, enjoy and be of service to the community. Therefore, I chose to learn Diagnostic Medical Sonography that would help me achieve my eventual goal of working in the professional field.
   
Towards the end of that summer I was beginning to feel a little bit scared. After all this would be the first time I was away from my parents other than for summer camp and to stay with friends on weekends. I had not really traveled before and here I was choosing to attend college halfway across the country, in a state where I did not know anyone, not even on Facebook or Livejournal. This choice had been as a result of my desire to find a place where I would grow up independently from my parents and learn how to be my own person. I was also afraid that despite all of my hard work in high school, to get good grades, and to have the types of extracurricular activities on my college applications that schools looked for, that I would be a failure and end up flunking out of school. I did find out later that most of the traditionally college aged freshmen in my year felt the same thing before they left, so I was pretty normal in that regard.
   
College proved to be a turning point for me. When I got to college I became aware that I was fully an adult and no one could tell me what to do anymore. I was fully responsible for my own actions, and there were no parents to talk to the teachers or anyone else if I messed up. I admit, I did go wild for awhile and took advantage of the social life that the college had to offer. For the first time I found a large group (rather than one or two people) that I fit in with, and I enjoyed attending parties in the dorms and sororities and fraternities. Soon I settled down, as I realized that this wasnt high school. I did not have to party to be popular and could find friends and social acceptance amongst those with more academic interests as well. This was college and it was finally cool to be smart.
   
According to Eriksons Theory, I was experiencing the end stages of the Identity vs. Role Confusion stage of development (deciding where I fit in, figuring out who I am and who I want to be), and in the beginning stages of Intimacy vs. Isolation (finding friends, affiliating myself with social and professional groups). I found myself at one point overwhelmed by the need to affiliate myself with a particular group of people and at other times I just wanted to be by myself. These conflicts more often than not had been responsible for my change in moods and this had only heightened my stress levels. I was finding that these two stages were very much intertwined at that point in my life. I still havent quite figured out who I am and who I want to be, just as I am only now finding friends and a place where I fit in.
   
My social life began to change in regard to personal relationships once I reached college. In high school, it had not been easy for me to develop a romantic relationship with anyone because I felt that I did not really fit in. I did not think I had much in common with anyone and so I refrained from any romantic relationship. This has changed since I joined college and I have gotten more into the dating scene now, and am really in the process of thinking about what I want in a life partner, what qualities he should have, and what type of person he should be. Although, I am more focused on work and getting good grades at the moment, it is still something that I need to think about, because eventually I plan on having a family. I value my education more but I also want to develop in all aspects.

Returning home the summer after my freshman year was an interesting experience. It was tough on both my parents and me. I had left them as a hesitant 18 and a half-year-old teenager, who was afraid of the future and of moving so far away from home. I returned to them as a fully-fledged adult with a wealth of new experiences to share, and with attitudes and opinions of my own. I was almost 19 and ready to spread my wings, but they were not ready to let me go. The first half of the summer we fought a lot. They still treated me like a child, but I wasnt one anymore. I was an adult and felt I had the right to be treated like one. At this point I made this clear to them and tried to talk things out with them. I didnt realize that my parents were having their own problems. I was the second oldest and the first child to leave home and my parents had begun to realize that they were growing old. They werent young when they had me, Mom was 30 and Dad was 36, and now they are both in their 60s. So they had their own developmental issues to deal with as well. At the stage of late adulthood as depicted by Erikson, my parents were despairing over their own lives and this brought on great anxiety. Towards the end of the summer we finally resolved our disagreements. I understood that they were under the same stress of adjusting to me not being home and we resolved to understand and respect each other. They agreed to treat me more as an adult.   

During my summer holidays I had met with a few of my high school classmates who were not doing so well in their lives. They had made wrong choices such as excessive partying and socializing, troublemaking and minimum wage working instead of choosing to advance their careers in college. The realization that bad choices could lead individuals into enduring bad lives I became more determined to make something out of myself. Drucker implies that with ambition, intelligence and focus one can manage to reach the topmost of their profession. When I returned to school I became more focused and guided my strengths into succeeding in my studies. This same drive has enabled me to finally study psychology a field which I believe will work positively towards advancing my career.

Looking back to the time when I was 18, my life has changed radically. At the moment I have developed my own identity and personality and I have a better idea of where I belong. I am also looking forward to a more fulfilling life as an adult and as a person charged with numerous responsibilities. I know that my graduation will be the culmination of my growth and development and it will also pave way for new and better experiences. College has helped me to realize that the world outside the town I grew up in has a lot to offer me. I am more likely to speak my mind now and less likely to rely entirely upon my friends and family for confirmation and acceptance. College has also changed my life in other ways. I have friends that are interested in me, for who I am, not how much my jeans cost, or whether or not I am involved in sports. I had gotten more involved in the college community and extracurricular activities than I ever was in high school. This only created more experiences to learn from.

At this stage in life I am looking forward to a higher education and achieving a degree of my dream.  Of course, things could change over the course of the next several years and this particular plan could be disrupted, but if that happens I will adjust and adapt new plans. I am hoping that I can continue to remain focused on my goals and dreams. I am heading into graduate school and I am very happy with my current job.  The future is often unknown but our dreams can give us a glimpse of what we would want it to be like. I am aware that it is only I who can shape my future and I am prepared to do so.