Psychology

Quantitative and qualitative are two research designs that are used in social research.  They are similar by the fact that they types of research designs but are different in the approach they use in the process of conducting research. Seale, (2004) in his attempt to describe the two methods reports that, while quantitative research uses numbers and statistics qualitative research uses words and descriptions. Since these two methods are different, it is therefore important to study the characteristics of each method to be in a better position to understand the differences of the two. This paper shall therefore discuss the characteristics of qualitative study as well as the characteristics of quantitative study at the same time shed light on their major differences.

Qualitative research looks at social problems in broader perspective with an aim of getting to know more about the problem. In this research, the researcher is more interested with the deep information about the problem, that is, the questions that the research seeks to answer is how and why (Newman  Benz, 1998). This research is therefore described to as non numerical as it does not use numerical data to describe a particular situation. After collecting enough and considerable information, then the researcher develops a theory and a hypothesis based with the information gathered from the field. During the process of the research, the researcher in qualitative research actually takes part in what is being studied so as to be able to gather the required information thus known as participatory observation (Newman Benz, 1998).

According to Seale, (2004) in qualitative research, purposive sampling method is used such that, the researcher usually looks at where the information required can be easily found. Comprehensive research is done on the case selected so as to understand the problem as well as causes of the problem. In case the researcher identifies a richer source, he can change the sample in the process of the research. After data analysis, which is usually case based, the completion of the research data is usually represented in form of written reports. Report writing is actually done in the process of the research and not until the end of the research.

In quantitative research, the researcher is usually a passive observer and does not take part in what is being studied. The main agenda is actually to study, without being part of the study. This is why questionnaires are mainly used to collect the required data. The data is collected in numerical form thus the quantitative study. To identify research objects, random sampling is used so as to make the research as representative as possible (Seale, 2004). In addition, in quantitative research, the hypothesis is formulated before the beginning of the study such that it is only tested after the process of the research. At the end of the research, the data is recorded as statistics and represented in form of graphs of different types as well as tables. The report actually has to be written after the completion of the study.

Although the two research designs have got one aim of collecting information they are different in their approaches, methodologies used, and also the method of data collection among other, differences. In quantitative research, the researcher formulates the hypothesis even before the beginning of the study while in qualitative study the hypothesis is formulated during the research process (Punch 2005). This basically means that in quantitative study, the problem is actually known and the purpose of the study is actually to test whether what is known is the truth. On the other hand, in qualitative study the researcher only has a rough idea of what the problem is and seeks to determine the cause of the problem as well as other descriptions of the problem.

In quantitative research, researchers are passive because they just observe while in qualitative research researchers actually take part in the activities they are studying (Punch 2005). Further studies reveal that this can be attributed to the fact that both parties have got different assumptions about people in the social world. In quantitative research, the social world is viewed to be natural and real while in qualitative research, it is viewed as unpredictable. This is the reason why researchers in qualitative research must be part of the social world to be able to understand the actions and the cause of these actions while the quantitative researchers only observe what they see for they believe what they are seeing is the truth.

Purposive sampling is used in qualitative research while random sampling is used in quantitative research. In qualitative research researchers according to Punch, (2005) select an activity individual or setting that will adequately answer the research question and solve the problem. The data obtained is more comprehensive as it is usually derived from the right individuals. More over the sample is usually changed in the process of the research in case a richer source is identified. On the other hand, sampling method in quantitative research is usually random sampling as its main aim is usually to obtain data that will represent the whole population. To get a more representative sample study on the population, research must be done to establish the variations so as to make sure that all the samples are almost the same.

There is a great difference between the two methods in data analysis. Studies of Punch, (2005) reveal that, while quantitative research uses statistical tools like computers, tables, and software among others in qualitative study none of the above is used. The actual analysis in qualitative study is based on the variable while it is case-based in the qualitative analysis (Punch, 2005). Mathematical language is mainly used in quantitative study not only in analyzing but also in data representation while in qualitative study mathematical language is actually considered to be useless. This is because in qualitative research data is represented in form of written report in text format.

In qualitative research, the method of data collection is basically use of methods like focus group discussions while in quantitative study there is increased use of questionnaires. The main difference is that, in quantitative study the researcher and the respondent may not even come to contact with one another while in qualitative study they usually meet and discuss. This is because a qualititative study researcher looks even at the behavior of the respondent while a quantitative researcher is only interested with the answer the respondent gives. As Newman  Benz (1998) puts it, qualitative study generally lacks the power of the quantitative study to generalize as it is not as representative as qualititative study.

In conclusion, the main difference between the two methods is in the aim of the study, method of data collection, the process identifying a sample, method of data collection, the method of data analysis and representation among other minor differences. The choice of the method use basically depends with the kind of study one is undertaking. However, each has got its own advantages and disadvantages like in qualitative study one can be writing reports in the process of the study while in quantitative study reports are written after data analysis. In addition, due to the use of random sampling method in quantitive study it is possible to generalize unlike in qualitative where one cannot generalize because the sample is not representative.

Dream Description
A girl whom I had studied with in elementary level visits home. We had been contacting through a social website and somehow agreed to meet. She is excited and meets both my parents. She interacts well with family. What amazes me most is the fact that she addresses my mother simply mum. The two of us are happy when we finally meet.

Wish Fulfillment
We had met with this girl through a social website. Though she is already married with a child, I had a wish to meet and probably marry her. I love her and still do. She was my first love and I wished to marry her. However, I was not sure whether or not the idea would be agreeable to her.  It is in the dream that somehow the wish is fulfilled. The meeting with the family, her address to my mother and possible hint to marriage brings out the latent aspect of the dream. The manifest content which is clearly her visit and meeting with family members was very clear in mind.

Problem Focused Approach
Though I am in love with the girl and really wanted to marry her, I did not know how exactly I was going to tell her about my intentions. This was a problem and I had to come up with a solution. I needed to find out whether or not the idea will be agreeable to her. However, the fact that she was willing to come home and meet my parents shows her willingness to be a part of the family. Again, the address to my mother further emphasizes this fact. To some extent the dream has helped address the problem. The focus of the dream was on introducing the girl in the family. She was more than willing to be incorporated in the family.

Cognitive Approach
This dream was simply processing the most current happening in my life. I had been thinking so much about this relationship. It is not doubt that I had spent a great amount of time thinking about the girl and our possible marriage. The fact that she was already married and had a child was enough to stress me. The brain was working on this content in my mind and trying to process it. The resultant dream was exactly what I was preoccupied with in my current situation.

Activation-Synthesis Theory
The dream might as well be a narrative created by the brain. There is no apparent meaning in the dram since it is simply images in mind. This is through electrical signals in the brain transmitted into conscious thoughts leading to formation of images in the forebrain. This is referred to as activation stage. On awakening the sensory input is sorted out by the forebrain to generate a meaningful experience, also known as the synthesis stage. It is this experience that I try to associate with what is happening in reality.

Conclusion
The cognitive approach is more accurate. It shades more light on my current circumstances and addresses an issue that continues to puzzle my mind. The images and subjects in the dream are real in life. The mind was therefore trying to process this information. The wish fulfillment and the problem focused approach and rather too optimistic of the dream. It is an attempt to assign a role for the dream. On the other hand the activation-synthesis is the opposite of the two. Of course there is some meaning in the dream only that it more of an attempt to process current circumstances other than trying to give a solution of what is or likely to happen.

Abstract
There is an Increasing correlation between cultural influences and career development therefore there is need for expanded theoretical perspectives as well as practical perspectives. Clients of career counseling are diverse in cultures and are interested in different careers hence there is need for Theories of career development that demonstrate cultural perspectives so as to provide direction for the people whose cultures are diverse.

 Systems Theory Framework can be defined as a foundation based on theoretical a fact that explains the influence that systems have on an individuals career development in the persons social, individual and societal contexts. System theory framework rationalizes systemic approaches to multicultural career counseling.

The topic of Systems Theory Framework has a positive influence in the field of career counseling. This is because by applying Systems Theory Framework, career counselors will be encouraged to expand their roles in counseling and also increase their level of intervention that is in multicultural career counseling.

Systems theory is important to the approach of a constructivist worldview, such as solution oriented and narrative counseling, which are both applicable to career counseling.

 Systems theory also emphasizes on approaches such as socio-dynamic counseling and active engagement which are dynamic aspects of career counseling. The most significant aspect about socio-dynamic counseling is its capacity to motivate clients to consider their work issues within an expanded context that is their life roles and circumstances.  Zunker, V. (2006), postulates that one should choose a career path that is in line with his or her cultural attributes, this is important in the field of career counseling and career achievement.

It is therefore important to note that Systems Theory Framework addresses the rift between theory and practice in multicultural career counseling.

Abstract
Personal input in career development is not the only aspect that will facilitate success in a persons career, there are environmental aspects that will also determine career development among men and women and an example of an environmental aspect addressed herein is ethic and gender differences.
Many theories that discuss career development are based on theories of personality and personal input. This is because they try to establish a relationship between an individuals personality and their careers. For example Vernon G. Zunkers book deals with a holistic approach in the study of career counseling, it emphasizes on the whole person that is, a persons characteristics as a whole and this includes his or her talents, values, passions and temperament. Zunker argues that these characteristics are important in order to determine an individuals best career fit.

The members of a minority ethnic or racial group encounter more barriers to their career development. It is also important to note that women from a minority racial or ethnic group encounter more barriers than their male counterparts. This is because male chauvinism has made it that way. These barriers are in the form of harassment and employment discrimination among others as illustrated by McWhirter (1997)

 In many cases, personal input, for example hard work does not necessarily lead to high career achievement for women and ethnic minorities. This is because ethnic minorities have fewer opportunities available to them than others. In this case their careers are do not have the chance to grow.

However, it is also possible that personality traits may help to counteract the negative impacts of environmental barriers on career achievement. This is evident as seen when outstanding men and women from minority groups excel in their career fields.

One of the important abilities required in school psychology field is the ability to anticipate SITB (Self-Injurious Thoughts and Behaviors) of schoolchildren and to nip it in the bud (Klonsky and Muehlenkamp, 2007 Nock et al., 2007). The difficulty here arises mostly due to the lack of sufficient empirical evidence on the predictors and correlates of NSSI (Non-Suicidal Self-Injury), besides misleading individual behavioral forecasts of the children and their apparently innocuous behavioral patterns. Such state of affairs thus creates a dilemma among psychologists, such as whether to rely on the individual forecasts of the children or to delve deep into their individual history of SITB. This study explores a research article that deals with this issue, before arriving at the conclusion that the authorities in charge should rely more on past history of individual behavior than individuals forecasts in predicting SITB, and finally to adopt a multi-method approach in predicting SITB among children.

Summary of the Article
The article named Behavioral forecasts do not improve the prediction of future behavior A prospective study of self-injury is the outcome of the research work of Janis and Nock (2008), who investigated on the qualitative difference between past history of individuals and individuals behavioral forecasts in terms of predicting SITB in individuals.

The said investigation emanated out of their research question that wanted to know whether the individuals behavioral forecasts of their own likelihood of involving in SITB in the future are more helpful to predict SITB than using SITB history alone. Accordingly they wanted to test their hypotheses, that past history and forecasts of future thoughts and behaviors would be strongly associated (1), and that behavioral forecasts would not improve prediction above and beyond the use of past behavior (2). They justified their investigation on the premise that a correct understanding of what could be the right method of predicting SITB can streamline the process of predicting SITB, which in turn would improve the ability of the psychologists to predict, prevent and treat SITB.

Method Applied by the Researchers
The researchers chose adolescents between 12-19 years as population and worked with 64 samples comprising 51 female and 13 male adolescents, who were recruited via announcements posted in local psychiatric clinics, newspapers, community bulletin boards, and on the Internet. They followed the research procedure as recommended by the Harvard University Review Board. They obtained follow-up data from 50 of the samples (78) that included face-to-face interviews conducted by the researchers to assess the demographic factors such as age, sex, and ethnicity.

Assessing Psychiatric Disorders
To assess the psychiatric disorders of the samples, the researchers used Schedule for Affective Disorders and Schizophrenia for School Agent Children Present and Lifetime Version (K-SADS-PL Kaufman et al., 1997), which is a semi-structured diagnostic interview that assesses current and past episodes of 33 different psychiatric disorders (DSM-IV-TR APA, 2000). In the process they focused on major depression, anxiety, impulse-control, eating and substance disorders to assess SITB, and used SITBI (Self-Injurious Thoughts and Behaviors Interview), which is a structured, clinical interview to assess the presence, frequency, severity, age-of-onset, and other characteristics of a broad range of self-injurious and suicidal thoughts and behaviors (Nock et al., 2007a).

They re-administered the SITBI after a gap of six months to assess the proximity between actual state and the behavioral forecasts of the respondents, where the SIT (Self-Injurious Thoughts) variables were based on the total frequency of suicide thoughts and plans, while SIB (Self-Injurious Behaviors) based on the total frequency of suicidal attempts and NSSI.

Data Analysis
The researchers conducted preliminary analyses to test whether the dependent variables differed based on age (three groups comprising 12, 17, and 18-19 year-olds), sex or ethnicity (comparing European Americans to all other ethnic categories) to get maximum possible result from it. To test their hypothesis 1, they calculated a series of Pearson correlation coefficients, while conducting hierarchical linear regression equations to test hypothesis 2.

Results
Their primary analysis showed that age, sex and ethnicity are in no way significantly related to the dependent variables (SIT and SIB), thereby prompting them not to include the demographic variables in their main study analyses. Their main study analyses evaluated the relative predictive power of past SITB and behavioral forecasts in predicting sixth-month SITB by using a series of regression equations, which eventually showed that behavioral forecasts of future behavior did not add to the prediction model, while past behavior significantly predicted future behavior.

Strengths of this Study
The main strength of this study lies in the fact that it shows that individual forecasts too take clues from the respective history of behavior, and such forecasts fail to fully interpret or decipher the future course of actions coded in the history of behavior. This clearly shows that it requires special knowledge to read between the lines of the behavioral history of an individual. Such finding aligns with the views of other researchers too, who suggest that actuarial judgments (decision-making on the basis of empirical evidence) are more useful than clinical judgments for diagnosing and predicting human behavior (Dawes et al., 1989 Meehl, 1954).

Another strong point of this research is that it suggests exploiting all resources available for predicting SITB, such as past history, current thoughts, self-reported prediction of future behaviors, and reports from significant others. This altogether provides a comprehensive way of tackling SITB. From the above viewpoints, the researchers have done a commendable job by underpinning the right method of predicting SITB.

The example of applying the suggested multi-method approach (Janis and Nock, 2008) too corroborates its possible efficacy and that should be counted as another strong point regarding the validity and reliability of their work.

Limitations Observed in this Study
The small sample size and small zone of research limit this useful study to become a practical guide in more heterogeneous school setting, as in that case, ethnicity may have some bearing over the issue, which has not been included in the analyses of this study. Alongside, it does not examine whether results differ based on intent or lethality of SITB, which could have made it more reliable.

Conclusion
The research article reviewed above clearly appears to be a useful contributor to the sphere of school psychology, as it eliminates the strategic dilemma regarding handling SITB or NSSI, i.e., whether to rely on individual behavior forecast or to explore the history of individual behavior. Secondly, it also shows that to predict and prevent SITB one needs to acquire information from three sources such as past behavioral record, individual forecast and the environment associated with individual. This prompts an idea to this reviewer that to successfully apply multi-method approach in school psychology, a new kind of individual record book for students could be immensely beneficial, where it would periodically document all information from the above three sources for periodic analyses. This could systematize the process of predicting and preventing SITB and NSSI among schoolchildren.

Twins can either be fraternal and identical. Whereas monozygotic twins have identical genetic sequence since they were fertilized from a single egg fraternal or dizygotic twins share fifty percent of genetic material but ate utterly different to the extent of finding a male and female. Thus studies have been postulated to discern how the similar genetic make up in monozygotic twins affect their relative life within a given environment so as to perceive if some character traits, diseases and behavioral changes can be wholly be attributed to genetic formulae. Accordingly studies have theorized that there is a high correlation of shared intelligence and IQ semblance between identical twins as opposed to fraternal twins. Consequently, research findings have disclosed that identical twins can engage in similar activities though sometimes far apart.

According to Arnold Gesell, Ph.D., a pioneer in the twins psychology study, he unveils that identical twins behavioral activity is determined by a genetically preconceived and predetermined channel of activity that sets them rarely apart from the daily activities. Thus Arnold Gesell conducted an experiment in which one twin was trained on how to climb stairs and after some time the untrained twin seemingly learnt the skills with relative easy(Gesell, 2009). Nevertheless, other professors have disputed the idea citing that such a scenario is of little implication as to denote the behavioral change since children can learn climbing of stairs by observation. Therefore familiar family environment can not be separated from the said similar attributers that are accorded to the research since according to Jay Joseph, family environment is a characteristic and trait significant (Jay, 2004, 86). Reflectively it has been observed that identical twins share the same environment more specifically than fraternal counterparts thus making them quite relevant for behavioral studies such as sexuality, crime, lifestyle and intelligence. Identical twins have thus been found to have similar reactions to different stimuli which qualifies that indeed some behaviors are hereditary and to a large extent they interpret the environmental stimuli concordantly. Parental care has been attributed as a major factor that also contribute to the way twins perceive the world though their significance diminish with the inclusion of other siblings in the family. Conspicuously, the way parents treaty their children almost follow a systematic pattern as from the first borne to the rest and yet the same treatment can never be the same in regard to diverse individuality that can be displayed in a single family. Therefore, identical twins reaction to the environment stimuli is dependant on their peculiar ways to perceive the same stimuli and the meaning they decide to attach to a given situation is varied according to their internal manipulation of information received (Jay, 2004).

Equal environment that identical twins are exposed to affects their collective moral activity and consequently have a notable effect on their eventual character and way of life. In studies that have so far been conducted to the effect of establishing whether homosexuality is genetically predetermined. Tim Taylor claims that homosexuality behavior can be proven to be either genetically predetermined if there is 100 concordance being observed in the identical twins while some degree of varied traits is allowable in the character of fraternal twins. Some results correspond to the genetically oriented homosexuality behavior whereas majority of unbiased studies in the selection of twins for sampling have declared lack of correlation the results obtained to conclusively point to homosexuality being hereditary (Tim, 1997). Reflectively, it us possible that twins borne to environments that practice homosexuality tend to pick such behaviors leading to the subjective claim that identical twins confess to homosexuality then conclusively homosexuality is genetically predetermined (Whitehead, 2008). However, following indications that identical twins reared apart seem to be able to recollect the diverse experiences and relate with each other as if they were reared together then maybe a claim can be said that if one is drawn into homosexual acts, then proportionally the other twin is as well drawn to the sane stimuli by identifying with it on personal-environmental based level far from genetics.

Twins separated at birth to indicate that environmental factors and presence of diversely applied different stimuli are being exposed to the twins at different time frames Still and in particular to identical twins  there seem to be a correlation in the in observed behavior. Though this can point out to their ability to perceive emotions similarly hence wherever there is a case of coincidences it should not be confused with the fact that they seem to have a similar communication system within their minds thus they may perceive a stimuli and interpreted it similarly(Tim, 1997). Therefore if these identical twin by virtue of them perceiving a given stimulus correspondingly is no reason enough to engage genetics rather, that the psychological and physiological environment that they perceive affects how they react. Therefore it is possible to be able to trace some twins who are practicing a given trait while the other is overwhelmingly dissimilar. Dr. Beetle, author of Identical Twin Studies and Evolutionary Psychology asserts that though the DNA of identical twins is 100 matched their similar behaviors arise from the surrounding structures and a desire for mimicking in order to create bonding as soul mates. As such, the author insists that similar environment perception and body system reflects that they understand their body language with relative easy.
In conclusion psychological genetics research and study that concerns the idea that some character traits are genetically influenced may be misguided since broad research is pointing out to mimicry and behavioral influence stimuli. Therefore behavior of twins cannot be separated from conduct of individuals in a closed group who may even tend to look alike. Family life also cements twins together and more so the idea of identicalness contributes to peculiar traits that a twin may exhibit. Reasonably, a son who takes after a father will tend to mimic the fathers activities and so is the psychology behind twins and their similar behavior.  

There are various educational philosophies used in modern education and in most of the schools the application of educational philosophy is either combined or circumstantial.

I have studied in a school, which followed the philosophy of Essentialism. My educators seemed to be very rigid and disciplined, and expected the same from the students. We learned the basic subjects like math, science, history and languages. It encouraged academic competitions with regular tests and examinations. I always felt that I was on a memory test all the time during my schooling as we were suppose to present everything we have learned for the academic year into the test paper in a stipulated time. I do agree that this kind of education does give an academic edge to the students, but the creative mind of the students are shut and they are asked to repeat the tested and tried methods of learning.

If given a chance to teach in one of the schools with pure philosophy pattern, I would like to work in a school where philosophy of Perennialism is followed. Though, it is important for the students to have an academic edge, but I do believe that we need to stimulate the thought process of the learner for hisher inputs. The educators need to present the principles and not the facts. I like this pattern of student-teacher interaction wherein the teacher just provides the topic of discussion but the actual discussion happens between the students. This helps to create an opinion about the subject. This kind of education helps the students to learn with scientific reasoning.

One of the major differences between the way I studied and the way I want to teach is student input. I think for better understanding and impact of any form of learning, it is important that the participant is given a chance to think out of the box and prove it with facts. How else will we have inventors in future

Behind the act of rage and worthlessness witnesses at Hamilton High, there is a large issue of mental illness in teens that needs to be urgently addressed.  After the unrelated suicides of four students that shook the Hamilton school and the surrounding community, school officials have come up with Character Day (Grant, 2007). This is a raw, emotional and truthful program that was set up to motivate students to open up when they felt pressured and they were prompted to ask for help when the need arose.

Discussion
Following the events that happened at Hamilton High, this institution has played some major roles in its history. Grant (2007) reckons that one of the roles is that behind the acts of sadism that was witnessed at the school, is that there is still a great concern of mental illness in teens that is hardly ever discussed. However after this happened, school officials came together to seek a solution to this problem and they came up with a program known as Character Day. The mission of this program was to encourage students to open up when they felt down in the dumps (Grant, 2007). This program was designed for the students to give a raw, emotional and honest account of what they were feeling.  However, this role has changed since many schools are now creating online forums in their communities where the teens can air their troubles incognito and in turn seek support from their peers and professionals skilled in counseling (Grant, 2007).

Nevertheless, Hamilton High could have been more culturally responsive to diverse student groups by offering programs that would make the students feel more at home. The school would have set one day aside where all students would interact together and share their different heritage and ideas together (Grant, 2007). This would have a long time solution to problems faced by students from diverse cultures.

Chapter 1
Introduction

Relationships are important facets of human existence in fact, a healthy and positive interpersonal relationship is an indicator of positive adjustment and functioning (Fowler  Christakis, 2009). As social beings, people crave for relationships it satisfies the need for belongingness and love. There are several forms of relationships however, it is intimate relationships that each one of us yearns for.

Intimate relationships are characterized by love, commitment and sex. Love has been conceptualized as into six love styles by Lee (1978) and elaborated by Hendrick and Hendrick (1989). The love styles are ludus the game-playing, noncommittal love, agape or selfless love, mania is dependent and possessive love, storge or down-to-earth, friendship love, pragma is the logical, shopping list love and eros is passionate, lustful love.

Commitment and sex is a distinguishing characteristic of intimate relationships as it means exclusivity and intimacy. Commitment is a decision to be faithful and loyal to the other partner, this is a psychological contract between two individuals.  Sex is the highest form of intimacy and although in some cases it can occur without love or commitment, an intimate relationship cannot be classified without sexual activities (Gonzaga, Keltner, Campos,  Altemus   Turner, 2006).

Intimate relationships usually occur in heterogeneous relations, although it is not uncommon in homogenous relations as well. Intimate relationships can be classified as healthy and positive and it can be abusive and negative. The most ideal would be that all intimate relationships are healthy and positive and provide the couple with the support, love and encouragement. However, the reality of abusive intimate relationships is ever present (Marshall  Holtzworth-Munroe, 2010).

Unhealthy intimate relationships occur because of the individual personalities of the couple and their previous experiences and how they relate and interact with their partners. Even though unhealthy relationships are detrimental to those involved in the relationship, some endure due to the social stigma attached to abusive relationships that not many come forward to seek help or report it (Marshall  Holtzworth-Munroe, 2010). The number of individuals involved in abusive relationships is only an estimate but most researchers agree that it is higher.

Measuring the quality of intimate relationships has been the object of researches and is even a popular subject in popular culture as more and more people are becoming aware of their rights and roles in a relationship (Wilkins  Gareis, 2006). However, it is difficult still for most people to come out and say that they are being abused physically, emotionally or psychologically (Marshall  Holtzworth-Munroe, 2010). The quality of relationships however can be judged in terms of the dominant love styles, the communication styles and the happiness of those in the relationship.

Healthy and positive intimate relationships can be characterized by eros and agape (Lee, 1978), the communication between partners is open, truthful and genuine (Caravelli, Lubrano-Lavadera  Malagoli Togliatti, 2008), and also there is happiness in the relationship and between the partners. Communication style models have indicated that there are differences in how partners communicate depending on the topic or concern of the partners (Cuming   Rapee, 2010).

Happiness has been the focus of positive psychology this past decade. Happiness has been conceptualized into pleasure, engagement and meaning (Hills  Argylle, 2002). Relationships had been found to be highly associated with happiness (Fowler  Christakis, 2009), that is, interpersonal relationships are a source of happiness for a large number of individuals. Happiness however is influenced by cultural norms and expectations, but only in how it is manifested and expressed as happiness is a universal emotion (Dolan, Peasgood  White, 2008).

Cultural differences are present in every facet of human behavior, and more so in how people interact and relate. Certain cultures have sanctioned and acceptable ways of interacting, communicating and expressing emotions such as love and happiness (Schmitt et.al, 2009). Cultural differences are important to study as it verifies psychological constructs and conceptualizations that had been mainly western in orientation. The Asian culture or perspective had been differentiated from the American and western perspective in terms of cultural orientation.

Building on the complexities of human relationships and the concept of love, happiness, communication and intimacy, this study attempts to explore and determine the differences of the love styles, communication pattern and happiness of young Hong Kong professionals within their intimate relationships. This study seeks to find information about the dominant love style among Hong Kong couples, their communication patterns and their happiness in their relationships. This study also aims to find evidence of the association of love style, communication styles and happiness as it predicts the quality of intimate relationships.

Background of the Study
Successful intimate relationships are those where both partners are happy, content, find meaning in each other and share a deep commitment and love for each other. And all people dream to have such a relationship, but this kind of relationship does not happen overnight. It takes many years of hard work and dedication, as well as a deep emotional bond and desire for each other.  However, the quality of intimate relationships is as much a function of the individuals choices and behavior, and there is no way of telling whether ones lover or partner at the moment will be the right one (McGregor,  McAdams  Little, 2006).

If only people could tell whether a person will be good for him or her, then much heartache and despair could be avoided, but, individuals need to invest his or her time and effort in a relationship and find out if this relationship is a positive influence to him or her. Differentiating healthy intimate relationships from the not so healthy or negative relationships would provide information on how to make relationships work and how to avoid a not so healthy relationship.

Love styles, communication styles and happiness will be used in this study as indicators of the quality of the intimate relationship of young Hong Kong professionals. Love styles had been conceptualized into six kinds, varying from the most self-less to the more pragmatic kind. It would be interesting to find out what kind of love styles exists within the intimate relationships of young professionals in Hong Kong. Also, communication styles are important in any form of relationship, and finding out how partners or lovers communicate would provide knowledge of the different communication styles practiced in intimate relationships (Kline, Horton  Zhang, 2008). Happiness will also be considered in this study since it is the most highly associated emotion to relationships. Happiness also has become a research interest in the field of positive psychology.  By focusing on happiness within intimate relationships, the sources of happiness can be made known and the quality of the relationship can be inferred from it.

The study will be centered on the perspective of young Hong Kong professionals, who have become exposed to western ideals and thoughts on intimate relationships, love and sexual activities (Frster,  zelsel  Epstude, 2010). It is hoped that this study would provide information as to whether cultural norms and traditions in Hong Kong are manifested in the intimate relationships of its people. This is an important consideration since not many studies on human relationships and emotions had been conducted in the Hong Kong context.

Statement of the Problem
It is human nature to yearn for a partner, whose dreams, desires, fears and hopes can be shared with, and one can be passionate with. However, finding the right partner and having a successful relationship is an elusive goal for most. The times are changing and young adults have differing conceptions of what makes a relationship work and its dynamics. Many young adults are delaying marriage and are content to be single, the reason for which is not finding the right person to be with. Moreover, intimate relationships can occur and dissolve at any given time due to the changing concepts about marriage, love and intimacy. It is important to determine the kind of intimate relationships that young professionals in Hong Kong have at this given time.

This quantitative descriptive and correlational study on the love styles, communication styles and happiness among the intimate relationships of young Hong Kong professionals seeks to describe, determine and explore the quality of intimate relationships based on the love styles, communication styles and happiness of the partners. This study also aims to identify the love styles and communication styles that characterize healthy and positive intimate relationships, as well as determine which variables predict the quality of intimate relationships.

Purpose of the Study
This study aims to determine the quality of intimate relationships of young professionals in Hong Kong in terms of their love styles, communication styles and happiness. This study will be conducted within the context of young adults in Hong Kong and their intimate relationships. The focus on love styles, communication styles and happiness will provide knowledge about the distinguishing characteristics of positive and healthy intimate relationships from the negative and possibly abusive ones. Moreover, this study would also identify which love styles, communication styles and happiness will likely predict the quality of intimate relationships. The results of this study would aid in building knowledge and conceptualizations of love styles and happiness as well as provide basis for developing strategies to improve the quality of intimate relationships.

Research Questions
This quantitative descriptive and correlational study on the quality of intimate relationships of young Hong Kong professionals and their love styles, communication styles and happiness aims to specifically answer the following questions
What are the love styles of young professionals in Hong Kong in their intimate relationships
What are the communication styles of young professionals in Hong Kong in their intimate relationships
How happy are the young professionals in Hong Kong in their intimate relationships
What is the quality of the intimate relationships of young professionals in Hong Kong
What love style and communication style are highly associated with healthy intimate relationships
What love style and communication style are highly associated with unhealthy intimate relationships
Is there a difference in the happiness of young professionals in their intimate relationships
What variables predict the quality of intimate relationships of young professionals in Hong Kong.

Chapter 2
Review of Related Literature
This study on the love styles, communication pattern and happiness of Hong Kong young professionals in their intimate relationships aims to describe the said variables in the context of intimate relationships. This chapter will present the review of related studies and literature on love styles, communication patterns and happiness. The objective of this chapter is to provide a background of the theoretical and empirical findings of previous studies in relation to the present study.

Love Styles
Communication Patterns
Coping with relationship problems requires some specific skills. Research on relationship functioning in distressed and non-distressed couples in intimate relationships suggests that communication and problem-solving skills are particularly important in coping with relationship problems and maintaining a satisfying relationship (e.g., Raush, Barry, Hertel,  Swain, 1974). Numerous studies demonstrate that the nature of a couples marital interactions, especially during conflict, is associated with their marital adjustment (e.g., Christensen, 1988 Christensen  Shenk, 1991 Gottman, Markman,  Notarius, 1977). Research suggests that good communication patterns facilitate the resolution of daily marital tensions and intimate relationships and helps to prevent the accumulation of lasting resentments (Lowenthal  Haven, 1968 Roy, 1978). There is also evidence demonstrating that certain patterns of communication during conflict are associated with longitudinal changes in relationship satisfaction (Bradbury  Karney, 1993 Heavey, Christensen,  Malamuth, 1995 Heavey, Layne,  Christensen, 1993).

Studies examining relationship development have found that factors such as poor communication and problem-solving skills, when present prior to marriage or during exclusive dating or early in marriage, can predict the development of relationship distress later in marriage (Markman, 1981). In fact, longitudinal studies have suggested that dysfunctional communication patterns precede the development of marital problems and that early signs of future distress are potentially identifiable in premarital interaction, regardless of the couples level of premarital relationship satisfaction (Markman, 1981).

Although the commonly held belief is that compatibility between couples predicts marital success, reviews of the literature suggest that the quality of the couples communication is a significantly better predictor of future marital satisfaction (Gottman, 1979). As Levinger (cited in Markman, Floyd, Stanley,  Storaasli, 1988) stated, What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility (p.210). To test this theory, Markman et al. (1988) studied the impact of an intervention designed to prevent divorce and marital distress that emphasizes communication and problem-solving skills, clarifying and sharing expectations, and sensualsexual enhancement. Although post-intervention results indicated that couples learned the skills taught in the program, no group differences showed on self-report measures of relationship quality. However, after three years, intervention couples showed higher levels of both relationship satisfaction and sexual satisfaction, as well as lower levels of problem intensity.

The results regarding women were unexpected, results from other studies also suggest that increased levels of female positive communication might be damaging to the couple over time. For example, Gottman and Krokoff (1989) found that wives positive verbal behavior was related positively to concurrent marital satisfaction but negatively to satisfaction after three years. Similarly, Heavey, Layne, and Christensen (1993) found that wives positive communication was correlated with higher concurrent marital satisfaction but was not related to satisfaction measured one year later. The reverse correlation emerged for husbands positive communication. Additionally, Karney and Bradbury (1997) reported a similar relationship between newlywed wives positive communication and later changes in marital satisfaction during the first four years of marriage based on growth curve analysis. Specifically, they found that more negative andor less positive communication by husbands was associated with greater declines in wives satisfaction over time. However, they reported that more negative andor less positive communication from wives predicted slower declines in husbands and wives marital satisfaction. Gottman, Coan, Carrere, and Swanson (1998) also found that anger expressed by newlyweds did not predict unhappiness or divorce three years later.

In a discussion of their results, Karney and Bradbury (1997) suggest that higher negative communication behaviors in wives may represent a willingness to wrestle with difficult relationship issues. In other words, they are willing to assert themselves and address problems. Although these interactions may be objectionable at the time, they are likely to be part of a beneficial communication process in the long term. In essence, these results suggest that higher female assertive negative communication is associated with positive marital outcomes in the long run.

In two longitudinal studies of marital interaction using observational coding of couples attempting to resolve a high-conflict issue, Gottman and Krokoff (1989) found that a different pattern of results predicts concurrent marital satisfaction than predicts change in marital satisfaction over three years. Findings suggested that some marital interaction patterns, such as disagreement and anger exchanges, which have usually been considered detrimental to a marriage, may not be harmful in the long run. These patterns of interaction were found to be associated with unhappiness and negative interaction concurrently, but they were predictive of improvement in marital satisfaction longitudinally. However, three specific interaction patterns were identified as dysfunctional in terms of marital deterioration longitudinally defensiveness (which includes whining), stubbornness, and withdrawal from interaction. These interaction patterns were found to be more deleterious if they are characteristic of husbands.

According to Gottman (1993), there seems to be a constant that is consistent across all types of stable couples, the ratio of positive to negative interactions during conflict resolution. Thus, it appears that neither conflict avoidance nor intense conflict engagement and escalation are necessarily dysfunctional. Negative interactions appear to be dysfunctional only when they are not balanced with approximately five times as much positive feeling and interaction.

With so many negative consequences of this demandwithdraw pattern, it is important to understand the reasons behind its enactment. Some researchers have suggested that these communication styles have their roots in the biological differences between men and women (e.g., Gottman  Levenson, 1988). Other researchers have suggested that early socialization experiences of men and women lead to the observed differences in communication styles (e.g., Christensen, 1987, 1988 Jacobson, 1989). For example, women tend to be socialized to be more expressive and relationship focused (e.g., Broverman, Vogel, Broverman, Clarkson,  Rosenkranz, 1972 Margolin, Talovic,  Weinstein, 1983).

This socialization may lead to more demanding behaviors when the tendency to be expressive is thwarted (Markman, Silvern, Clements,  Kraft-Hanak, 1993). Conversely, gender socialization for men tends to lead them to be more instrumental and problem-solving focused, which may lead to withdrawal behaviors when they are unable to directly solve a problem (Markman et al., 1993). These socialization differences can also be seen in studies that have shown that women tend to desire more closeness and men more autonomy, and that the level of closeness or autonomy desired is related to the amount of demanding or withdrawing behavior (Christensen, 1987, 1988 Christensen  Shenk, 1991).

Yet another explanation of this demandwithdraw behavior pattern is the specific goals that women and men have when engaging in a discussion about their relationship. This explanation is referred as the conflict-structure hypothesis (Christensen  Heavey, 1990 Heavey et al., 1993). It refers to the idea that the observed behavioral patterns are the result of what the discussion is going to accomplish for the individuals involved. For example, women are believed to have less power in a relationship, and thus they are more likely to try to press for a change in the relationship (Christensen, 1987, 1988).

However, men are believed to have more power in a relationship and therefore have an incentive to keep the relationship the same, thus they withdraw from discussions about the relationship (Christensen, 1987, 1988). Consistent with this conflict-structure hypothesis Christensen and Heavey (1990) and Heavey et al. (1993) found that demandwithdraw differences between women and men were only significant during discussions in which the women, as opposed to men, desired the most change.

Taken together these views suggest that, although undesirable demand withdraw behaviors may have their roots in biological predispositions and socialization experiences, they will be increasingly present in discussions where an individual believes that he or she will have difficulty achieving their goals. This idea is consistent with Markman et al.s (1993) suggestion that when womens and mens behavioral tendencies are thwarted, they will engage in more demandwithdraw behaviors. This is also consistent with the work of Christensen and colleagues (Christensen  Heavey, 1990 Heavey etal., 1993) who demonstrated that in situations where one partner has a desire to achieve a specific relationship goal, but has less power to achieve it, they will demand more. Accordingly, it may be important to assess the perceived difficulty of a situation and its effect on a couples behavior.

Another important issue in understanding this demandwithdraw pattern is whether this destructive way of dealing with relationship issues is present before marriage or whether it is learned during the course of marriage (Noller, Feeney, Bonnell,  Callan, 1994). Kelley, Huston, and Cate (1985) suggested that, in general, communication behaviors appear to be relatively stable over time. Specifically, Kelley et al. (1985) reported that married couples in conflict acknowledged that they were often in conflict before marriage. In addition, Nolle r et al. (1994) found that couples communication patterns just before marriage remained stable for a 2-year period after marriage. These findings suggest that perhaps the blueprint for marital communication is established well before the marriage. Therefore, understanding of marital communication must include a focus on the communication patterns of dating couples.

However, few studies have directly assessed the occurrence of this pattern of communication prior to marriage in general, or during the dating process specifically. One exception is Markman et al. (1993), who found that dating relationships often involved men complaining more about their partners demand behaviors. Interestingly, Markman et al. (1993) found that women did not express more complaints about their partners withdraw behaviors. Thus, only partial support for the demandwithdraw pattern in dating couples was found. Yet, a limiting factor in the study by Markman and his colleagues (1993) is that they focused only on complaints about problem areas in the relationship as opposed to all areas of interaction. Therefore, the precipitating factor behind the observed differences is not known or understood.

Happiness
To explain happiness, what it means, where it stands in psychology and mental health,
and what effects it, let us start with a study by Seligman. Seligman (1998) reports that for the
treatment of an illness, just fixing the broken part is not sufficient. Rather, the inner parts have
to be cared for to be able to go through a complete treatment process. In addition, he reports that
the mission of psychology which is improving the lives of people and nurturing seems to have
both been forgotten, instead, there seems to be too much focus on what he labels as victimology.
Mainstream psychology, with a variety of specialties, seem to have geared more toward
dysfunction and problems rather than healthy emotions and well functioning. However, there are
a few people in the area of psychology that are more concerned with humans prosperity and
people feeling good or functioning well (Argyle, 1987 Bradburn, 1969).

Huppert (2005) reports that a detailed look at the reasons behind this neglect of the well
being rather than the focus on dysfunction indicates that most parts of psychology seem to have
been affected by the Western medical model of health which is the absence of disease and the
definition that good functioning is the absence of dysfunction. Huppert (2005) further indicates
that this view of dysfunction is even more obvious in neuropsychology which understands and
defines normal functioning of the brain by studying the brain disorders. While there is no doubt
that much can be learned by this approach but it can neglect the underlying mechanism of above
average or exceptional performances. Likewise, in the field of mental health and psychology,
research on negative emotions like fear, depression, and anger have little revealing information
on positive emotions like love, happiness, and contentment.

To discuss what happiness is and why it is important, when it comes to feeling good,
happiness comes more easily to the mind. Cohen (2002) reports that happiness is a constructive
notion and is essential in upholding a healthy life style. Diener and Diener (2008) report eight
recognized elements of true psychological wealth Life contentment and happiness, spirituality
and having a meaningful life, affirmative mind set and emotions, loving social relationships,
taking on fulfilling activities and work, moral values and principals and having life goals to
attain them, physical and mental health, and material satisfaction to meet needs.

To refer to the definition of happiness, happiness predictors and definitions have been
somehow neglected until recently (Argyle, 2001 Eysenck, 1990 Myers, 1992) even though the
major symptoms of unhappiness which are depression and anxiety have been investigated
intensely by researchers (Seligman, 1991). But one study that seem to be relevant to the subject
of this research is that of Tatarkiewicz (1976) who defines happiness as a sense of overall
satisfaction with ones whole life. Other definitions of happiness characterize it as a crucial
motivator for humans and a positive internal experience (Lu et al., 2001). Perhaps one of more
complete definitions of happiness is the one by Hills and Argyle (200) who reported happiness to
be a multidimensional entity consisting of emotional and cognitive parts.

There are different models of defining happiness, but one that seems more relevant to this
study may be that of Hayborn (2003) which explains happiness within the context of three points
of views Hedonism, life satisfaction, and affective state theory. Hayborn (2003) explains
hedonism as the individuals ability to find mostly pleasure in life as a whole experience. He
explains life satisfaction as a personal attitudes toward life in which positive attitude of the total
experience of life creates more happiness and he explains the affective state of happiness in
relation to the individuals overall emotional state.

Hills and Argyle (2001) did a study to find the relationship between happiness and
extraversion and emotional stability and found out that happiness is more than one dimensional
which consists of both emotional as well as cognitive elements. This study used the Oxford
Happiness Inventory (OHI). The result indicated that emotional stability was more linked with
happiness than with extraversion. In addition, the study concludes that emotional stability is
related to most of the 29 items of the OHI and the singular predictor of happiness in younger
generation. Furthermore, their study indicates people who are worried a lot and experience a lot
of anxiety are less happy that people who tend to be calm and in control.

Chapter 3
Research Methods

Research Method
Research
Instruments
Dyadic Adjustment Scale The Dyadic Adjustment Scale (DAS Spainer, 1976) is a global assessment of marital satisfaction. The DAS is a 32-item self-report measure of overall marital adjustment that has been widely used in the marital literature and has been shown to have high reliability (Cronbachs alpha  .96 Spainer, 1976). Scores range from 0 to 151. Higher scores indicate greater satisfaction. The mean of married couples is 114.8 with a standard deviation of 17.8. Couples score below 97 (one standard deviation below the mean) are generally considered to be distressed. The DAS has good internal consistency and is strongly correlated with other measures of relationship satisfaction such as the Locke-Wallace Marital Adjustment Test. The DAS successfully differentiates married and divorced couples, distressed and non-distressed couples, and clinic and non-clinic samples.

Communication Patterns Questionnaire, Short Form The Communications Patterns Questionnaire, Short Form (CQPSF) is a brief version of the Communications Patterns Questionnaire (CPQ Christensen, 1987, 1988 Christensen  Sullway, 1984). It assesses spouse perceptions of dyadic communication about relationship problems. Each partner indicates on a 9-point scale the likelihood that the couple will interact in a specified manner when discussing a problem. All behaviors are assessed at the dyad level (e.g., mutual avoidance) rather than at the individual level. This measure contains four theoretically derived subscales three asymmetrical communication subscales and one symmetrical positive communication subscale. The first two asymmetrical subscales focus on demandwithdraw interactions in which the spouses take opposite roles in the discussion. In this study, one subscale assessed the likelihood of the patient demanding while his or her partner withdraws, and the other assessed the likelihood of the patients partner demanding while the patient withdraws. The symmetrical overall positive communication subscale consists of three items assessing mutual discussion, mutual expression, and mutual negotiation. Previous research has demonstrated acceptable reliability and validity of the CPQSF (Christensen, 1987, 1988 Christensen  Heavey, 1990).

The Communication Patterns Questionnaire, Short Form (CPQSF) (Christensen, 1987, 1988 Christensen  Sullaway, 1984) is designed to assess an individuals perception of the way that discussions with their partner are generally conducted. The participant indicates on a 9-point scale (1, very unlikely to 9, very likely) the likelihood that the couple interacts in a specific manner (e.g., mutual negotiation or mutual blame) when discussing a specific issue. All behaviors are assessed at the level of the dyad (e.g., mutual avoidance) rather than at the level of the individual (e.g., man avoids).

The measures four sub-scales assess four dyadic communication patterns. These communication subscale s address (a) the likelihood that the husband is demanding, while the wife withdraws (e.g., man pressures, nags, or demands, while woman withdraws, becomes silent, or refuses to discuss
the matter further) (b) the likelihood that the wife is demanding, while the husband withdraws (e.g., woman pressures, nags, or demands, while man withdraws, becomes silent, or refuses to discuss the matter further) (c) the total demandwithdraw communication behaviors of the couple, which is the sum of the first two subscales and (d) the positive communication behaviors of the couples (e.g., both members suggest possible solutions and compromises). Higher scores on a subscale mean that the person is reporting that the couple participates in more of those type of communication behaviors during discussion of a specific issue.

The internal consistency reliability of the CPQSF has been demonstrated previously (Christensen, 1987, 1988 Christensen  Sullaway, 1984) on three of the subscales positive communication (a  .87) husband withdrawwife demand (a  .66), and wife-demandhusband-withdraw (a  .71).

QUESTIONNAIRE NAME AND AUTHOR Subjective Happiness Scale (SHS)Sonja Lyubomirsky, Ph.D.WHAT THE QUESTIONNAIRE MEASURESThe SHS is a 4-item scale of global subjective happiness. Two items ask respondents to characterize themselves using both absolute ratings and ratings relative to peers, whereas the other two items offer brief descriptions of happy and unhappy individuals and ask respondents the extent to which each characterization describes them. The SHS has been validated in 14 studies with a total of 2,732 participants. Data has been collected in the United States from students on two college campuses and one high school campus, from community adults in two California cities, And from older adults, as well as from students and community adults in Moscow, Russia. Results have indicated that the SHS has high internal consistency, which has been found to be stable across samples. Test-retest and self-peer correlations have suggested good to excellent reliability, and construct validation studies of convergent and discriminant validity have confirmed the use of this scale to measure the construct of subjective happiness.KEY REFERENCES1. Lyubomirsky, S.,  Lepper, H. S. (1999). A measure of subjective happiness Preliminary reliability and construct validation. Social Indicators Research, 46, 137-155.2. Lyubomirsky, S.,  Ross, L. (1997). Hedonic consequences of social comparison A contrast of happy and unhappy people. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 73, 1141-1157.3. Lyubomirsky, S.,  Ross, L. (1999). Changes in attractiveness of elected, rejected, and precluded alternatives A comparison of happy and unhappy individuals. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 76, 988-1007.4. Lyubomirsky, S.,  Tucker, K. L. (1998). Implications of individual differences in subjective happiness for perceiving, interpreting, and thinking about life events. Motivation and Emotion, 22, 155-186.5. Lyubomirsky, S. (2001). Why are some people happier than others The role of cognitive and motivational processes in well-being. American Psychologist, 56, 239-249.

Directions
Listed below are several statements that reflect different attitudes about love. For each statement fill in the blank using the response that indicates how much you agree or disagree with that statement. The items refer to a specific love relationship.
The 6 styles are marked A to F in the questionnaire, corresponding to the order above Eros to Agape.
Whenever possible, answer the questions with your current partner in mind. If you are not currently dating anyone, answer the questions with your most recent partner in mind. If you have never been in love, answer in terms of what you think your responses would most likely be. There is no right or wrong answers - we each carry traits from the different styles of love.
For each question score the following
(1) Strongly Agree, (2) Moderately Agree, (3) Neutral- neither Agree or Disagree, (4) Moderately Disagree, and (5) Strongly Disagree

Love Style A_____________________
____ My partner and I were attracted to each other immediately after we first met.
_____My partner and I have the right physical chemistry between us.
____ Our lovemaking is intense and satisfying.
_____I feel that my partner and I were meant for each other.
_____My partner and I became emotionally involved rather quickly.
_____My partner and I really understand each other.
_____My partner fits my ideal standards for physical beauty handsomeness.

Love Style B_____________________
____ I try to keep my partner a little uncertain about my commitment to himher.
____ I believe that what my partner does not know about me wont hurt himher.
____ I have sometimes had to keep my partner from finding out about other partners.
____ I could get over my affair with my partner pretty easily and quickly.
____ My partner would get upset if heshe knew some of things Ive done with others.
_____When my partner gets too dependent on me, I want to back off a little.
_____I enjoy playing the game of love with my partner and a number of other partners.

Love Style C_____________________
____ It is hard for me to say exactly when our friendship turned into love.
____ To be genuine, our love first required caring for a while.
____ I expect to always be friends with my partner.
____ Our love is the best kind because it grew out of a long friendship.
____ Our friendship merged gradually into love over time.
____ Our love is really a deep friendship, not a mysterious, mystical emotion.
____ Our love relationship is the most satisfying because it developed from a good friendship.

Love Style D_____________________
____ I considered why my partner what my partner was going to become in life before I committed myself to himher.
____ I tried to plan my life carefully before choosing my partner.
____ In choosing my partner, I believe it was best to love someone with a similar background.
____ A main consideration in choosing my partner was how heshe would reflect on my family.
____ An important factor in choosing my partner was whether or not heshe would be a good parent.
____ One consideration in choosing my partner was how heshe would reflect on my career.
____ Before getting very involved with my partner, I tried to figure out how compatible hisher hereditary background would be with mine in case we ever had children.

Love Style E_____________________
____ When things are not right with my partner and me, my stomach gets upset.
____ If my partner and I broke up, I would get so depressed that I would even think of suicide.
____ Sometimes I get so excited about being in love with my partner that I cannot sleep.
____ When my partner does not pay attention to me, I feel sick all over.
____ Since I have been in love with my partner, I have had trouble concentrating on anything else.
____ I cannot relax if I suspect that partner is with someone else.
____ If my partner ignores me for a while, I sometimes do stupid things to try to get hisher attention back.

Love Style F_____________________
____ I try to always help my partner though difficult times.
____ I would rather suffer myself than let my partner suffer.
____ I cannot be happy unless I place my partners happiness before my own.
____ I am usually willing to sacrifice my own wishes to let my partner achieve hishers.
____ Whatever I own is my partners to use as heshe chooses.
____ When my partner gets angry with me, I still love him her fully and unconditionally.
____ I would endure all things for the sake of my partner.

Love Attitudes Scale retrieved from httpiws.ccccd.eduemcdonaldhuman sexualityHandouts_to_downloadLove Attitudes Scale-Chapter 7.htm on 100405. C. Hendrick  S.S. Hendrick (1990). A relationship-specific version of the Love Attitude Scale, Journal of Social Behavior and Personality, 5, 239-254

Eros
The Eros lover is characterized by passion, though a passion broader than just a physical one. The Eros lover tends to be drawn toward a preferred physical type, and thus there may be an immediate recognition or aha when meeting a potential love partner. This lover is intense and wants to be involved with a partner on all levels, becoming physically affectionate (and intimate), talking for hours, and learning all about the partner. The Eros lover is fully and openly present, is self-confident and trusting, and balances intensity with an appropriate sense of boundaries.

Ludus
The Ludus lover, in contrast, is not interested in intensity, but rather experiences love as a game to be played for mutual enjoyment but not necessarily with any serious outcome in mind. Ludic lovers do not have a preferred physical type. Although ludic lovers may be in a partnered relationship with someone, ludic love is best played with several partners at a time, so that different people may be enjoyed for different qualities, in different activities, with no one person or relationship taking precedence over another. A ludic lover may hurt a partner inadvertently, but the goal is to enjoy relationships with a variety of people, with everyone having fun and no one getting hurt.

Storge
The Storge lover is someone who builds a love relationship on a strong base of friendship. The goal isA companionable, secure, trusting relationship with a partner who is similar in terms of attitudes and values. This similarity is much more important to Storge than physical appearance or sexual satisfaction because this orientation to love is more likely to seek long-term commitment rather than short-term excitement. (S. Hendrick  Hendrick, 1992, p. 65)

Pragma
The Pragma lover is all that the name implies, including practical and pragmatic. A Pragma lover may or may not have a preferred physical type, but he or she will surely have a virtual (or actual) shopping list of qualities sought in a partner. This type of lover may profit from working with a matchmaker or a computer dating service, in which inappropriate relationship candidates will be screened out. The pragmatic lover isnt looking for great excitement and drama, but, rather, for a suitable partner with whom a satisfying, rewarding life can be built (S. Hendrick  Hendrick, 1992, p. 66).

Mania
The Mania lover is also aptly characterized by the love style name, in that emotional highs and lows, as well as dependence, possessiveness, jealousy, and insecurity are typically present. A manic lover yearns for a love relationship but finds it elusive, because she or he seems compelled to push for commitment from a partner, does not really trust the commitment even if it is forthcoming, and is always afraid that the partner will find someone else. Another aspect of Mania is physical symptoms, such as difficulty eating or sleeping. Overall, the Mania lover always seems to be looking for the cloud around the silver lining.

Agape
The Agape lover is the rarest type of lover. Agape is characterized by altruism, such that the partners welfare is more important than ones own welfare, and what one can give in a relationship is more important than what one gets. Indeed, Agape has much in common with compassionate love. The idealism of Agape means that there is no one preferred physical type in a partner, and indeed, sensuality and sexuality are likely to be much less important than more spiritual qualities. Although pure Agape is unlikely to exist on the physical plane of this world, agapic qualities are extremely important as relationships encounter inevitable ups and downs.

APPENDIX C DYADIC ADJUSTEMENT SCALE (DAS)
Directions Most persons have disagreements in their relationships. Circle the number below that indicates the approximate extent of agreement or disagreement between you and your partner for each item on the following list.

Always AgreeAlmost Always AgreeOccasionally FrequentlyDisagree DisagreeAlways DisagreeAlmost Always DisagreeHandling family finances543210Matters of recreation543210Religious matters543210Demonstrations ofaffection543210Friends543210Sex relations543210Conventionality(correct or properbehavior)543210Philosophy of life543210Ways of dealing withparents or in-laws543210Aims, goals, and thingsbelieved important543210Amount of time spenttogether543210Making major decisions543210Household tasks543210Leisure time andinterests and activities54321015. Career decisions543210 16. How often do you discuss or have you considered divorce, separation
or terminating your relationshipAllthe timeMost of the timeMore often
than not OccasionallyRarelyNever01234517. How often do you oryour mate leave thehouse after a fight01234518. In general, how oftendo you think thatthings between youand your partner aregoing well54321019. Do you confide inyour mate54321020. Do you ever regret thatyou married (or livedtogether)01234521. How often do you andyour partner quarrel01234522. How often do you andyour mate get on eachothers nerves012345
Almost
Every
Every Day Day Occasionally Rarely Never
Do you kiss your mate 4 3 2 1 0
All of Most of Some of Very few None of
them them them of them them
Do you and your mate
engage in outside
interests together 4 3 2 1 0
How often would you say the following events occur between you and your mate
Have a stimulatingNeverLess than once a monthOnce or twice a monthOnce or twice a weekOnce a dayMore oftenexchange of ideas012345Laugh together012345Calmly discusssomething012345Work togetheron a project012345
These are some things about which couples sometimes agree and sometimes disagree. Indicate if either item below caused differences of opinions or were problems in your relationship during the past few weeks. (Circle YES or NO)
YES NO
0 1 Being too tired for sex.
0 1 Not showing love
The dots on the following line represent different degrees of happiness in your relationship. The middle point happy, represents the degree of happiness of most relationships. Please circle the dot which best describes the degree of happiness, all things considered, of your relationship.
0 1 2 3 4 5 6
____. . . . . . .___
Extremely Fairly A little Happy Very Extremely Perfect
Unhappy Unhappy Unhappy Happy Happy
Which of the following statements best describes how you feel about the future of your relationship (Circle one)
5 I want desperately for my relationship to succeed, and would go to almost any length to see that itdoes.
4 I want very much for my relationship to succeed, and will do all I can to see that it does.
3 I want very much for my relationship to succeed, and will do my fair share to see that it does.
2 It would be nice if my relationship succeeded, but I cant do much more than I am doing now tohelp it succeed.
1 It would be nice if it succeeded, but I refuse to do any more than I am doing now to help itsucceed.
0 My relationship can never succeed, and there is no more that I can do to keep the relationshipgoing.

APPENDIX D COMMUNICATION PATTERNS QUESTIONNAIRE,SHORT FORM (CPQSF)
Directions We are interested in how you and your partner deal with problems in your relationship. Please rate each item on a scale of 1 ( very unlikely) to 9 ( very likely). Circle the appropriate number.
A. When some problem in the relationship arises Very
UnlikelyVery LikelyBoth you and your partner avoid discussing the problem.123456789Both you and your partner try to discuss the problem.1234567893. (a) You try to start a discussion while your partner tries to avoid a discussion.

(b) Your partner tries to start a discussion while you try to avoid a discussion.1
12
23
34
45
56
67
78
89
9B. During a discussion of a relationship problem4. Both you and your partner express your feelings to each other.123456789Both you and your partner blame, accuse, and criticize each other.123456789Both you and your partner suggest possible solutions and compromises.123456789(a) You pressure, nag, or demand while your partner withdraws, becomes silent, or refuses to discuss the matter further.

(b) Your partner pressures, nags, or demands while you withdraw, become silent, or refuse to discuss the matter further.1
12
23
34
45
56
67
78
89
9(a) You criticize while your partner defends himherself.123456789(b) Your partner criticizes while you try to defend yourself.123456789 Subjective Happiness Scale (SHS)By Sonja Lyubomirsky, Ph.D.For each of the following statements andor questions, please circle the point on the scale that you feelis most appropriate in describing you.1. In general, I consider myself1 2 3 4 5 6 7not a very a veryhappy happyperson person2. Compared to most of my peers, I consider myself1 2 3 4 5 6 7less morehappy happy3. Some people are generally very happy. They enjoy life regardless of what is going on, getting themost out of everything. To what extent does this characterization describe you1 2 3 4 5 6 7not at a greatall deal4. Some people are generally not very happy. Although they are not depressed, they never seem ashappy as they might be. To what extent does this characterization describe you1 2 3 4 5 6 7not at a greatall dealNote Item 4 is reverse coded.

The branch of psychology that deals with abnormal behaviors is abnormal psychology. Definition of abnormal behaviors has proved to be very difficult in the past. It has changed drastically over the course of human history. In order to understand abnormal behavior, one must first understand the meaning of the term abnormal. The term abnormal simply means deviation from the norm.

Something is considered normal or abnormal due to the way it is taken by the community. What a certain community regards as normal may be abnormal to another. The definition of normal and abnormal is not identical to bad and good. There are some instances whereby falling out of the normal is a good thing. For example, if a person is extremely bright, he may be considered abnormal and that is a good thing. In some cases, what is normal may be considered bad (Cherry, 2010).
The brain is the body organ that controls almost all the major function in the body including thoughts, senses, as well as emotion. The brain is composed of billions of neurons that coordinate with each other in order to function appropriately. Nerve cells communicate through impulses.

Neurotransmitters are the special chemicals that aid in transmission of messages from one nerve cell to the other. It was discovered that information detected by the receptors in the body are directed to the brain which then interpret it accordingly and sends it back to the body  directing the body how to respond. Imbalance of the neurotransmitters and defects in the neurological system in the brain leads to development of abnormal behaviors (Chakraburtty, 2009).

Violent and abnormal behaviors are associated with socioeconomic drift. Increased level of poverty is particularly believed to be a major cause of abnormal behaviors. The perception of a behavior as abnormal varies from one socioeconomic class to another. Some behaviors might be abnormal in the middle class, but are considered as normal in the lower class world. Cases of abnormal behaviors are experienced more in communities that are of low socioeconomic status with a higher rate of unemployment than in societies that are of a higher socioeconomic status (Corrigan, Mueser and Bond, 2007).

According to Olin and Keatinge (1998), when trust is built between the patient and the physician, treatment is facilitated. Personality features that lead to development of distrust between the patient and the physician greatly hinder the process of assessment as well as treatment. Clients with abnormal behaviors are socially isolated and also have poor self concept. They do not trust other people and perceive the world as risky and rejecting. Establishment of mutual trust is therefore important during the process of assessment as it provides a favorable environment for physicians to counsel the client. People portraying abnormal behaviors require somebody who is willing to listen and understand them. They tend to blame others for all their problems and therefore failure to establish trust during assessment leads to them blaming the doctor for all their problems.

As stated by Corrigan, Mueser, and Bond, (2007), the main purpose of interviews is to obtain information concerning a persons needs and strengths through questioning as well as engaging in dialogues in definite topic areas. Interviews vary in their approach there are those that are unstructured and those that are clearly outlined. Unstructured interviews are organized around specific areas and questions as well as follow-up queries are used to draw out information. Structured interviews include definite queries to draw out information concerning specific areas of functioning and also specify follow up questions. Structured interviews are preferred because differences between interviewers and clients due to specific wording and style are minimized. The precision of the assessment is greatly improved by elimination of interviewer differences.

The major focus of this study is to explore the enculturation of shame into the western society. The way western society views shameful acts evolved considerably over a period of time. The study tries to investigate the evolution of shame in western society and the resultant methods of discipline. The study elaborates on the relationship between shame and the avoidance personality disorder. The study also touches on several shameful acts experienced in the western nations today and how society and government respond to them. Shame has undergone a significant evolution in the western world, from the times when shameful acts were punished publicly, shift from shame to guilt and the scrubbing out guilt as a form of punishment to the adoption of modern ways of discipline. Avoidance personality disorder, which is related to shame, can be treated by medication or therapy. Last but not least, western societies must find new ways to curb the escalating shameful acts.

1.0. Introduction
Shame has come into spotlight in recent times as result of evolutionary concept of the origin of collaboration (Wettlaufer, 2008). In the field of anthropology, shame has been considered in favor of social emotions with significant impact on conflicts and cooperation among the young people in the society (Casimir  Schnegg, 2002). Shame is brought by inappropriate behaviors, which are in contrast to the social or in-group norms (Wettlaufer, 2008). Shame represents internal control over behavioral traits and penalties for not respecting the rules laid down by the society. Therefore, shame can be described as the feelings that are brought by failure to appropriately control body or mind, following particular customary laws and regulation in the presence of the others, as taught to the young people (Jones  Goldsmith, 2005).

Shame affects the identity of a person at the lowest level of societal competency (Schwartz, 2006). Shame elicits the feelings of guilt and the feeling of blame for a negative event or behavior that concerns a person at a more conscious point. When feeling shame, an individual person usually lowers his face to avoid being recognized by the passersby. In our contemporary society, shame has become an integral part of human emotion and shyness.

According to Schwartz (2006) there is nothing more intricate and excruciating emotion than shame. Shame entails absolute condemnation of self. Shame is a major catastrophic event in a person as individuals start to believe that they are not accepted in the society. Consequently, the awesome might of shame makes an individual to feel disgraceful and dishonorable with self. An individual who feels shame wants to bury himself from everyone. In contrast, guilt does not involve condemning one self but self-criticism for the mistakes done.

 1.1. Background knowledge
Criticism of ones self elicited by shame is directed towards a mistake that one has made for which they feel very responsible and want to correct (Schwartz, 2010). From the psychological point of view, there is an overlap between shame and guilt where a person who feels shame may also feel guilty. However, shame is more of a public affair than guilt because the person who feels shame expects public condemnation. On the other hand the person who feels guilty may be the only one who is aware of the mistakes heshe has committed.

Scheff, (2007) suggested that a person who feels guilty might have sentiments of lost self-esteem but not to the degree that is experienced by the shameful person. For instance, a student who has cheated in examination may feel guilty of the high grades awarded to him her because it was not earned in an honest manner even though no one is aware of the cheating. On the other hand, when the same student is caught red handed cheating in an exam, right in the midst of his fellow students, he may feel absolutely shameful and embarrassed. The latter occurrence is because everyone is aware of the cheating.

Fessler, (2004) described shame as the most powerful force propping society and the force that directly linked to an individual behavior. A lot of shame is dangerous. An extreme tendency to experience shame leads to humiliation and humiliation results in anger. The conventional norms and traditions in most society work very hard to minimize the power of shame in natural behavior and to justify the use of humiliation. Therefore the societal norms and moral laws have been undergoing evolution in the way these norms and laws handle shameful cases.

In the past, many behavioral traits exhibited in contemporary society and were taken lightly as having been caused by public shame and humiliation. For instance, pregnancy out of wedlock forced victims to be banished from the community because of the stigma associated with it. Men who impregnated women out of wedlock were subjected to public ridicule. In the current world even the terms are outdated (Fessler, 2004). While many people would like to embrace the olden days of scarlet letters and homes for unmarried mothers, it is very significant to admit the social cost of destigmatizing previously unacceptable behavior. The major consequences are children borne in single parent households starting their lives at a significant disadvantage under the set standards by the social scientist.

Schwartz (2006) disclosed that a number of people suffer from the shameful disorder known as social avoidance, which is sometimes erroneously taken to mean social phobia or social anxiety. The distinction between the mentioned disorders has to do with the state of the personality disorder. A personality disorder is a long- term behavioral trait, which results in tribulations in work and personal relationships. The fact that it is a long-term problem makes its treatment next to impossible.
Symptoms of avoidant personal disorder are social phobia, extreme shyness, feeling of shortfall and sensitivity to denial and criticism, choosing loneliness and isolation, avoiding criticism, avoiding eye contact at work or elsewhere, and last but not the least avoiding saying anything (Schwartz, 2010). The individual suffering from the avoidance disorder is always focused on any signs of dissatisfaction from others.

In contemporary culture, there is shame apportioned on the celebrities by the media. If any of the well-known celebrity for instance a sporting icon like Tiger Woods commits a shameful act, the entire media fraternity will make it a top story. Mistakes made by the celebrities are pseudo-emphatically explained even if they were as a result of external forces they had no control over (Fessler, 2004). An example of the media hunt is former US president Bill Clinton. Clintons legacy was damaged by his lack of ability to control his urges, was unfairly hunted by the out of control media, but still remains a hero in todays society (Stearns, 2003).

Stearns (2008) described guilt and shame as sentiments that reflect self-consciousness and impose morality, and that work as a means of   delimiting behavior to the societal norms and culture. Therefore enforcing feelings of shame and guiltiness are the basic components of child socialization. According to Stearns (2008) definitions of shame and guilt are diverse. Some authors argue that the most important element of shame is public exposure of the mistakes or inadequacies someone has committed while others recognize shame as self-dilapidation and feeling of being unworthy (Fessler, 2004).

In all cases, shame depicts the wish of hiding from others. Guilt, on the other hand, is linked to the desire of making an apology, reparation and to be forgiven (Stearns, 2008). In trying to differentiate guilt from shame, some authors define guilt as owing its roots from an individual point of view, in contrast shame points at the global self. Others see guilt as a private matter of conscience while shame as public thus influences the reputation of a person (Fessler, 2007).

1.2. Thesis statement.
Shame has been used for a very long period of time as a means of disciplining both children and adults in western societies. Use of shame has undergone considerable evolution in western societies. Plenty of criticism was leveled against the use of shame in punishing children and some experts argued that shame distorted child development. This forced parents and the society at large to devise new approaches of discipline to reduce the burden shame instilled on people. It is apparent that the devised modern methods of disciplines have failed terribly because currently western society has integrated shame into their way of life.

1.3. Shame in children in the early years
According to Sterns (2008) shame entails the need to hide from the view of other people. The shame that is experienced especially in an early age comes as a result of encounters which are subjective to social issues shaming in the full view of other people. This kind of shame that was experienced in full view of other people was a feature of the older Western societies. In colonial America, shame was used to a large extent and was reinforced with corporal chastening.

The young people who went against the set codes of conduct were forced to endure mockery from the brothers and sisters or the other people in society. Reprimanding was intentionally carried out in the full view of other people just as beating was Scheff, (2007). The young people took part in shaming other children and the other grown up people who were considered criminals. The shaming actions were also carried out in learning institutions where the young student who was thought to be going against the code of behavior would be told to occupy a given location in the room in full view of the colleagues.

Scheff, (2007) stated the new methods adopted by parents in instilling good conduct in children. Parents have also been asked not to let their feelings to run without managing them and to steer away from corporal chastening. Shame in the young in society can be enhanced through the lack of having the garments or playing tools that other age mates possessed (Matt, 2002)

1.4. The connection between shame and the Avoidant Personality
According to Schwartz, (2006) there is a chance that shame is the most complicated and hurting feeling there is. Shame is considered a chief assault that is directed towards the person in which the person feels that the societies will find the person intolerable. Schwartz, (2006) established that there is a connection between shame and the Avoidant Personality in the Western society. In this, the great worth that is given to personality contributes greatly towards making it hard for the people who are dealing with the Personality disorder. The difficulty is brought out by the worth that is given to personality since personality gives ground for people to shy away from social relations.

For people with the Personality Disorder, it is very hard to have social relations because of the hurting feelings induced. The person with Personality Disorder finds working together with other people as a danger since it would require them to acknowledge the social dread and the ways of behaving that have been created and which the person has been using for a given duration. The person with the Personality Disorder does not handle disapproval well because it makes the person to feel ashamed (Schwartz, 2006).

Shame is a worldwide phenomenon found in almost all culture and civilization but there is a set of origins that explains root causes of shame (Sterns, 2008). In western nations a lot of stress has been put on separateness, autonomy and unemotional personality. Hollywood movies portray the heroic persons who are strong, courageous and of few words. These characters depict self-reliance of the highest order (Ikegami, 2003). Therefore the highest value placed on heroic individuals and self-reliance in the west has played a major role in complicating matters for those suffering from avoidant personality disorders. This complication arises because the value placed on individual personality acts as a means of avoiding social interaction. Individuals suffering from avoidant personality disorder feel that interaction is very painful and should be avoided it at all cost, yet some professions demand socialization in order to be successful (Sterns, 2008).

Work requirements that demand cooperation act as a threat to the persons suffering from the avoidant personality disorder because they are forced to face up their fears and the conventional patterns of behaviors. Therefore people suffering from this kind of disease may feel that being given jobs requiring cooperation is some form of humiliation (Schwartz, 2006). It is amazing why people with avoidant personality will always want to avoid and shun social contact as it arouses a lot of anxiety. Persons with avoidant personality will always value independence very highly in spite of issues of anxiety and need to avoid people. It is also the nature of social avoidant people to be very sensitive of criticism even the slightest criticism causes a lot of pain. Actually, criticism of the person suffering from the disorder results in humiliation and therefore shame.

1.5. Evolution of shame in the western countries.
From the definitions and descriptions given above, it is clear that shame based upon the experience of the public coverage and the societies that rely mainly on public discipline will incur greater shame in young people than those that rely on private discipline (Stearns, 2008). Children in eastern nations for instance China and Japan are exposed to relatively high level of shame, in that mistakes are identified and corrected publicly, both at home and in school. This is not a common phenomenon in most European countries where private shaming is the most common act of discipline on children. An example of public shaming used especially in school is making a child try several times to solve a question on the board, each attempt being criticized by the fellow students until he gets the question correct.

The major objective for public shaming of students is to achieve the childs sense of right and self-worthiness thereby made contingent on the groups approval. The patterns of discipline used are based on the broader view that stresses the need of the group and encourage students to be in conformity with the group (Matt 2002).

Guilt and shame are self-awareness sentiments, and as such are tied to the variety of individual concepts and culture. Non-western cultures give emphasis to a mutually dependent self tied to group membership and are more shame prone (Schwartz 2006). On the other hand western culture tends to give more emphasis for the independent self and focuses on individual persons thus more prone to the feelings of guilt.

In the olden days, public shaming was also a characteristic of  western societies but historians have been more  fascinated  in the period when there was a major shift from shame to guilt in  childhood between 18thc and 19thc, specifically the US. (Hoare 2005). Shame was extensively used in colonial America and even strengthened by corporal punishment. Scolding of children was done in public and it also involved spanking or whipping. Young children participated in the discipline of others including adults. Therefore, most of the childhood experience was subjected to shaming others and probably being shamed.

In the 19th century, discipline changed from a public affair to a private one mostly undertaken within the family boundary. Disciplines to the offending child involved isolation, being locked in a solitary room for days with little food among others. The objective of the punishment was to encourage introspection of the bad act and, through this aggravate an eventual admission of wrongdoing upon which the child is received back into the affectionate family (Stearns, 2008). This approach did not remove application of shame in discipline and other members of the family were aware of the events. The main aim of the punishment was the feeling of guilt by the offender and the capacity to experience or foresee the same in future wrongdoings. Different offences had their own special dose of guilt and guilt capacity varied with maturity. Use of shame and guilt in that era was very significant in nurturing good behavior.

Parents and other adult members of the society played a great role in the lives of children but the credit was not theirs alone (Wettlaufer, 2008). Shame was greatly criticized but still was being applied in childrens lives for instance teachers continued to use shame in the face of professional advice. Peer pressure among the young people was a major contributor to their behavioral change. This is because peers humiliated each other and significantly influenced the conduct of its members (Stearns, 2008).

The growth of consumerism in the nineteenth century to date has strengthened yet another catalyst of shame. People who cannot keep up with the trends in fashion and the latest styles of clothes fairly often feel ashamed (Wettlaufer, 2008). People put a lot of effort to conform to the groups standard in consumerism and this is being driven by the desire to steer clear of shame from the cohorts.

1.6. Criticism of use of shame in discipline.
The culture of inculcating shame in young children started being questioned a lot in the 21st century. Experts started to debate the burden shame imposed on children, probably leading to their distorted development. Parents were urged to come up with strategies that would avoid overburdening children with guilt, as assertive literatures openly turned against what became to be oppressive practices of outdated centuries (Wettlaufer, 2008). Shame was viewed as very objectionable and too powerful, hindering the significant developments of sense of self esteem rather being a motivating factor in childrens life.

To act as replacement for shame, three alternative policies were recognized (Stearns, 2008). The course of action was that the parents were to help the children not to fall apart in their behavioral conducts so as to eradicate the need for punishment. This was made possible by greater tolerance for certain child behaviors. Secondly, parents and teachers were encouraged to offer gifts in favor of excellent behaviors as opposed to reprimanding the child for wrongdoing. Schools introduced programs which enhanced self-esteem and re-evaluated use of grades to sanction students.

 Psychologists came up with new methods to alter children behavior and depress the use of guilt as form of punishment, which in their view is very detrimental to the child progress. For instance, a child could be lured using gifts to overcome fear of darkness, pets or subjects in school rather than being astonished by blame  which will further weaken the child psychologically. The third proposal was to be used when the two approaches given above failed and the need to discipline a child was necessary. Professionals and parents explored new approaches, which were emotionally neutral to substitute for the guilt-prone approaches used earlier which include isolation of children from the family (Eaton, 2000).

The third approach was based on the view that children would respond to rational discussion without guilt implications. But if the discussions broke down two other options are proposed. The first one is fining children as a form of punishment without guilt. The other option is to ground a child, which means locking the child out of the entertainment or from the friends company for a particular period of time (Stearns, 2008). The objective of the third approach was to provide the right kind of discipline without resorting overtly to shame.

The overall impact of changes on the childrens experiences is very hard to appraise. Even if there is substantial decrease in the cases of child guilt recently, it is apparent that children continue to feel guilty even in families and societies that seek to limit guilt experience (Stearns, 2008). Other societal changes offer new opportunities for guilt in children such as increased parental expectation for academic performance and the escalating cases of divorce, which may direct children to believe that they played part in the break up.

The aversion of guilt can also be used to influence parental behavior (Wettlaufer, 2008). Currently most children in the European countries feel authorized to inform their parents if the parent is making the child guilty, with the aim of minimizing the parental criticism in the wake of prospective detrimental sentiments of shame.

Freiedman, H.F. (2006) became one of the contemporary opponents of use of shame in the corporate world. Freiedman, H.F. (2006) noted that use of shame in the workplace and humiliations leads to violence and other business problems. Therefore, very significant steps should be taken to ensure that managers are not shaming employees. Employee appraisal should be done in a manner that minimizes employee shame. In any case an employee is humiliated or shamed an apology is one method that should be used to avoid a bad situation turning into a disaster.

Even though guilt and shame still remain part and parcel of peoples lives, their meaning and uses have changed significantly as part of the larger family, education institutions and society as a whole. As a stronger means of enhancing the adult behavioral traits, the sentiments so far discussed have become part of how we can examine childhood experience.

1.7. Instances of shame in the western nations
Shame has taken a deferent dimension in the western society. Shame in this context can be viewed in terms of socio-historical shaping and we might ask after the status of shame in societies where face to face interaction is complemented by information communication technology. Shame is overshadowed by forms of social interaction, including internet communication and in the contemporary environment where media images insinuates themselves into interaction and self conception (Scheff, 2007). The reconciliation of shamelessness in the western society takes a wide perspective. Media provides enormous examples, pervasive sexual and violent TV programs, mainstreaming of internet pornography, unethical behavior of celebrities, immoral performances found in the You Tube and other internet video sites among others. In the legal sector attorneys very often instruct their clients not to admit any wrongdoing even if the client is guilty of the crime. This is also a common phenomenon in the western politics where politicians blatantly deny mistakes in public after being recorded in several occasions on the same subject (Freiedman, 2006).      

There was a resent court case in Germany where a man found an enthusiastic partner in the Internet, who killed him, cooked and ate his flesh. The German chief prosecutor could not find any law to charge the accused of cannibalism. If the laws cannot outlaw cannibalism because the victim cooperated and other European law supports the act such as assisted suicide, then the European culture and norms no longer values shame and the resultant chaos (Fessler, 2004).

Mary, (2001) used traditional theoretical model of male behavioral control to demonstrate why shame and honor is part of the patriarchy concept. Apart from the female behavior, the models extended the concept to entail the understanding of the male feelings of shame. The study also revealed that most western nations especially the English speaking including US, shame and honor changed from the traditional extended kinship to nuclear families (Mary, 2001). The dimension of community involvement in family matters has reduced drastically if not lost completely (Schwartz, 2006). This makes an important point in many researches on gender violence which asserts that home is the most dangerous place for any woman. Thus from the study, reduced shame and lack of communal responsibilities in the west have seen gender rights of women violated.

David Irving was arrested on charges of holocaust denial. Irving is a renowned holocaust denier and apologist for Adolph Hitler, but when Irving was accused of the wrongdoings during the holocaust Deborah Lipstard, Irving sued Deborah Lipstard for libel and won the court case. It is rumored that Irvin remains ashamed to accept the libel that he earned in the court case. The Guardian newspaper stated that Irving does not refute that Jews were exterminated by the Nazi forces but only disputes the number of the concentration camps. Irving even questions the number of the Jews that were killed in the gas chambers and claims the number of those who died is far much lower than the accepted. Irving also argues that the number of Jews who died in Auschwitz was because of typhus disease and not gas chambers. In short, Irving is lacking the moral authority to deny the holocaust and only in search of refuge on the precision of the information and analysis (Freiedman, 2006)

Last but not least, we revisit the story of the former American president Bill Clinton whose character was assassinated by the media for alleged infidelity with his office assistant. Whether the rumors where true or not, Clinton still remains a hero in the face of many people in the Western nations and even the world at large (Stearns, 2003). Cases of infidelity are on rise in the western world and the most astonishing one is the case of exchanging partners. Many cultures regard the latter case as an abomination or as a cultural shock with a lot of condemnation from the religious circle but it is still practiced in western world (Verzet, 2010).The above examples illustrates few instances of shameful acts that are overlooked in the western society.

Conclusion
According to the study, shame has undergone a lot of evolution in the western world (Wettlaufer, 2008). It started from the era where both the adult and the children were publicly punished and put to shame in front of the whole community. It shifted into the use of guilt as a means of punishment. Children were locked or put in isolation until they confessed their wrong doings and made to feel guilt of the mistakes made, thats when they were allowed back into the loving family (Fessler, 2004).
 A lot of criticism arose from the experts on the use of guilt as a means of punishing children and the experts argued that guilt distorted child development. This led to the development of the three approaches of child discipline still used to date. These forms of discipline regarded to be efficient and free of guilt and shame has resulted in escalation of rot in the western world (Freiedman, 2006). The study illustrations show how the current western cultures and behavioral patterns clash with the religious beliefs and the conventional norms and morals of the society.

The study depicts the relationship between shame and avoidance personality disorder, a long-term condition of fear of crowd and high regard for isolation. This condition can be reduced by means of medication, which reduces anxiety and depression (Gruenewald, et al, 2004). The condition can also be treated by cognitive-behavioral therapy, which helps to minimize social phobia and avoidance disorders.