Benefits of Divorced Parents Co-Parenting
Chapter 1
Introduction
Couples undergoing process of divorce are sometimes unaware of effects that divorce has on their children. Psychological research has proved that stressful effects are observed in children thus affecting their studies, demeanors in schools and in societies making them aggressive. However, some children cope with such stresses and lead normal lives. In both cases, there is a need to understand situations of these children. Divorced parents can best play their roles by co-parenting thus lessening fear of losing both parents that resides in these children.
It has been observed that couples seldom undergo amicable divorces and process of divorce is always followed by anger, distress, resentment and disappointment. Their parents in order to spy on other parent and to have control on access of children can mistakenly use children. Children may be made to face realities of other parents activities thus making them face more stress than they already face after divorce (De Galdeano, and Vuri, 2004, p. 7).
Co-parenting is a term used for separated and divorced couples who understand and realize stressful dilemma that their children face after divorce procedures. Many advantages have been quoted in case of children who are brought up by co-parenting from divorced parents. This paper shall cover main advantages on childrens upbringing under co-parenting. It has been mentioned that children undergo many stressful behavioral changes after parental divorce and research shows that these stressful behavioral changes are reduced in children brought up in co-parenting. Co-parenting leads to lesser painful consequences faced by children of divorced parents. Advantages and benefits of co-parenting shall be covered briefly in this paper by referring to a research conducted by National Educational Longitudinal Study since 1988 and this study was sponsored by U.S. Department of Educations National Center for Education Statistics.
Chapter 2
Problem statement
Hypothesis
Children of divorced couples who are are brought up in co-parenting face lesser stressful consequences as compared to children brought up separately by divorced parents.
It has been observed that couples undergoing divorce face many stressful conditions during divorce procedure and after it. Children of these divorced couples indirectly face these issues and some of these issues include monetary and financial issues, medical issues, and career planning relates issues. In case of many parents, working lifestyles are disturbed leading to financial issues. Parents being overly involved in process of divorce are unable to cope with stress directly thus ignoring basic requirements of children. Recreation, holidays are not on the list thus increasing stress, not only in parents but also in children (Gable, Crnic, and Belsky, 1994, p. 381).
Divorce itself is a process that leads to many changes in families including reorganization. This leads to reorganization in all parental responsibilities as after divorce, single parents are now responsible for all childrens needs and responsibilities. Divorced couples need to reorganize and reshape their partnership for better upbringing of their children to help them grow positively.
There is a need to realize an importance of co-parenting on development of children. Consequences of children brought up by separated parents cause stressful changes in children as aggression, depression, isolation, lack of concentration in studies, lesser social networking leading to lesser intimacy with other family members and friends. This research shall open up new horizons of understanding the fact that co-parenting can bring positive changes in lives of children. This research has its importance embedded in the fact that aggression in children brought up under single parenthood leads them to become criminals of future, ending up in solitaries (Maccoby, Depner, and Mnookin, 1990, 142).
Co-parenting involves a cooperative relationship between divorced parents. Cooperation helps children to cope with overall changes and reorganizations brought about by divorce. Divorce has been a result of a conflict between parents that in one-way or the other, is inevitable. Main rule in co-parenting is ways in which these conflicts are handled and managed cooperatively after divorce. Dealing with these conflicts has two main ways, positively managed ways or or constructive strategies and destructive ways. It is pretty understood that destructive way will not only disturb other family members but also children. Constructive strategies will help separated parents in managing their lives and their childrens.
From this discussion it is clear that if an importance of co-parenting is not realized than children will be left to become juvenile criminals committing crimes on streets disturbing their lives along with their families and inhabitants in societies. Ending up in prison, is a price these children pay for a conflict between their parents that ended in divorce thus isolating these children from love, affection and parental guidance. Prison is certainly not an end thereby parents need to realize that co-parenting is needed and is necessary not only for themselves but also for their children (Gable, and Belsky, 1994, p. 383).
Chapter 3
Literature review
Basic rule in co-parenting is to save children from stresses and negative consequences of divorce. Divorce understandably has many negative effects on upbringing of children thereby there are some steps that parents need to take to save their children from stress of divorced and separate parenting.
Situation during the process of divorce is to be addressed to children in a positive manner telling children that they are loved and parents shall always be there for them. Family destabilization is a shock for children and it needs to be addressed to children that divorce decision shall not destabilize family and parental love for them. This address needs to add that children are never to be abandoned by their parents in the future.
Children aging between 5 and 12 years of age need reassurances and sense of security from separating parents thereby children need to know on a regular basis that they will be loved and cared by their parents, facing divorce. To these children, it should be addressed that there are some differences between two parents that has caused divorce. Children develop a sense of respect and more love for parents who respect other parent in spite of many differences and conflicts standing in their ways (De Galdeano, and Vuri, 2004, p. 8).
Co-parenting responsibilities
Co-parenting responsibilities apply to parents separated and divorced. Extent with which parents effectively co-parent their children is a factor that shows how well children cope with transitions associated with divorce.
Parents who have primary custody of their children are responsible for daily activities and caretaking of children including education, religious aspects, social buildups, positive demeanors and career development. Both parents carefully observe daily life activities of their children. Other decisions that relate lives of these children include education, recreational activities, religious aspects, discipline, monetary issues and finances, values and morality, recreation activities, physical health, and dealing with emergencies that require cooperation from both parents.
Co-parenting managing issues and conflicts
Divorced couples have differences on many issues that create conflicts. Thereby it cannot be anticipated that issues shall welcome mutual agreement by these parents. Co-parenting is another name of managing these differences and issues keeping in mind the goal of better upbringing of children. Issues always welcome further complications thereby agreement or disagreement is not a solution but compromising is. Thereby separated and divorced couples need to compromise on these issues thus focus on main issues encompassing lives of their children. Positively managing these issues by compromising has been observed to be easier said than done (Maccoby, Depner, and Mnookin, 1990, p. 144).
Co-parenting Focusing On Childs Needs
Out of all issues that arise on the way, focus is to be given to issues that relate children. Education, homework, religious aspects, social network aspects, and building better relationships in society are issues that require more focus amongst other issues. These issues are in a need to be discussed with the other parent in a positive way leading to better outcomes for children. Thus co-parenting is a name of focusing on issues that are highly important to children. Diet and nutrition is debated between separated parents leading to better decisions with mutual consent thus helping children to have better nutrition helping them grow better. Argument here is that issues that arise between separated parents are prioritized ensuring childrens better and improved upbringing and better life (Gable, Crnic, and Belsky, 1994, p. 385).
Testing hypothesis
Co-parenting has been linked to positive development in children as compared to children who live in separated families facing negative consequences of parental separation. Thus, an answer of hypotheses has been provided by research conducted by Galdeano and Daniela Vuri (2004) asserting that parental divorce has a negative effect on cognitive development of children. It has been realized at an institutional level, thereby divorce requirements have been increased and tightened as compared to 1970s divorce law that was more lenient. Parental divorce effects children in negative ways in issues as educational attainment, fertility choices including non-marital birth in teenage), career planning and future earnings and most importantly employment status. Surveys were conducted by National Educational Longitudinal Study since 1988. Survey was sponsored by U.S. Department of Educations National Center for Education Statistics, carrying out cognitive tests in multiple waves in approximately 3,000 teenagers facing parental divorce. Results have demonstrated that teenagers facing parental divorce performed worst in cognitive test as compared to teenagers living with married and co-parenting parents (Maccoby, Depner, and Mnookin, 1990, p. 150).
Source Galdeano and Daniela Vuri (2004)
Further studies
There is a need of a detailed and an extended research on positive or negative effects of co-parenting on children. Historically and currently, research on co-parenting focuses on positive effects of co-parenting on childs development but further evaluations are required. Negative aspects of divorce have been covered in detail by researches including children of various ages. There is a need to understand a relationship between co-parenting and cognitive development of children although it has been seen that children living in co-parenting are sharper and much better developed in a cognitive sense as compared to children living in separated families. Co-parenting is not defined as a happy marriage thereby there is a need to research negative effects of co-parenting on childrens development, if there are any.
Chapter 4
Findings
Before 1970s, it was observed that mother was to be held a custodian of children after divorce unless considered as unfit. However currently laws have realized the effects of divorce on children, thereby childrens best interest has been introduced that makes sure that joint custody is ensured so children receive affection and love from both father and mother. Childrens best interests are always answered if children receive complete affection from mother and father even after parental separation.
Reports have been published that show that children who live with their mothers as primary caretakers, in touch with their fathers develop normally and healthily as compared to counterparts. Co-parenting thereby is the best solution in which needs of children is addressed. This can be explained by adding that co-parenting is mutual agreements between separated parents regarding managing childrens life in a better way making children feel that they are adored and loved in all ways by parents, although separated because of some differences.
Co-parenting is a situation well opposite to where children crave for affection and love of both parents. Separated parents living separately cannot address the needs of children in an adequate manner. These needs when not answered lead to negative developmental traits in children leading to aggression and isolation. Thereby parents who learn to manage issues and conflicts after divorce are the ones opting for co-parenting as it is realized that it is in the best interest of their children. A child in this case receives love and affection from both partners equally, although separated thus asserting a fact to a child that parents are there for them and he is not abandoned thus increasing confidence of children in life thus increasing positivity towards life. This positivity in turn causes positive development in childrens intellectual development causing positive changes in education, social buildups and building strong relationships.
Chapter 5
Discussion
It is observed that children cope with divorce in a much better manner as compared to when they are left alone by separated parents. All children have same needs, they are in need of love, affection, security and a family. These needs fall in same categories in children belonging to divorced parents and children belonging to married parents. These needs can only be answered when parents realize these needs even after being divorced. Divorce refers to the fact that family has been broken and a family instability is there thus one need of children is in jeopardy. This need can only be answered when separated parents start mutually agreeing on issues concerning their children thus leaving behind issues that caused separation and divorce.
Children start to develop confidence in love being provided by their parents. This is because co-parenting accompanies trust and respect for other partner leaving behind all previous issues. In private, all issues and conflicts are resolved as compared to fighting and arguing in front of children. Children adopt most stress when they sight their parents fighting and arguing. Clear and effective communication is ensured between partners thus increasing focus on issues concerning their children.
Chapter 6
Evaluation of the literature
Previous researches conducted on children development in relation to marriages, families, divorce and co-parenting have been aimed at researching developmental aspects of children in various ways. These include effects of divorce and co-parenting on their education, social buildups, relationship building and cognitive skills.
Researches that have been included in literature review are being conducted since decades and results summarized and analyzed. Sample size has been higher as needed, including 3000 teenagers after conducting a sample analysis of 20,000 students of different ages.
These researches have shown that children living in co-parenting are developed in a better way having better cognitive skills, better testing scores in schools and better social relationships as compared to children living in single parenthood. Needs of these children are lesser addressed by single parents thereby making these children more aggressive and isolated. Sense of security, love and access to familial and complete love are main needs of children addressed in co-parenting in divorced parents.
Conclusion
This paper has asserted the fact that co-parenting is in best interest of children of divorced parents. Love and security are demands of children and co-parenting addresses these demands effectively as separated parents start to mutually agree and compromise on issues related to betterment of children.
Children of divorced couples who are are brought up in co-parenting face lesser stressful consequences as compared to children brought up separately by divorced parents.
This topic was selected for research, as there is a need to address needs of children facing divorce between their parents. Separated parents are unable to realize some needs thus these children become a problem in society. Parents and separated couples who realize needs of children opt for co-parenting that helps in addressing teh needs of their children. Children receive same love and affection from their parents thus being positive that although marriage has been dissolved but still parents are still there for their help.
To assert this fact and to find a relationship between development of a child and divorce, a research has been referenced that successfully found that children belonging to single divorced parents are effected in negative ways especially in case of their cognitive development.
Categories:
0 comments:
Post a Comment