Psychology

Disclosures
Stephanie Its good to see you... Im gonna talk about... I live in a very isolated place, and its very hard to get to know people. I have a job that kinda keeps me in one area all the time. And Id like to meet people and have fun but, Im kinda limiting the people I see on a daily basis. And I spend so much time at work. When I get home, I do not want to talk about work. And the only people I know are the people I work with

What makes it worst is that, I used to have a little close relationship to my mom, my best friend. And after I went to college it kinda was really hard to keep in touch, and she hated that I ran away to school cause she is my best friend ... But   when I was in college she said shes drinking, and really became alcoholic during the summer, and her personality has changed  

So, I just feel very isolated, and alone ...

Therapist Do you wanna contact your mom   and (get that relationship back)...

Stephanie Exactly, exactly.
This part of the conversation clearly reflects the function of disclosures in a conversation. In this part, the client, Stephanie was able to uncover several revealing things about her personal life. For one, Stephanie easily disclosed about her being work-centered during the past months of her life. This revelation easily gave the therapist an idea about how Stephanies life is lately, and whether or not her being work-centered has something to do with anxiety that she has been going through. Apart from this, Stephanie was also able to reveal one very sensitive part of her personal life, which is the issue between her and her mother. As Stephanie reveals how close she was to her mother and how her mother grew to become an alcoholic when she ran away to college, the therapist easily gained entrance to Stephanies circle of intimacy. Considering how disclosures were elaborated in the Goodman and Esterlys Talk Book, it can be considered a closer relationship that may be built between the therapist and the client is understandable since it has been easy for the two of them to disclose sensitive matters. This is good, especially in this kind of conversation (therapeutic) since both parties are required to hear and know about each other in order to eventually end up with a therapeutic and relieving result.

Reflections
Therapist Are you an only child
Stephanie No. No. I have one brother and four step brothers and sisters.
Therapist ...persons you had to let go
Stephanie Yeah.
Therapist Which is why shes on housing...
Stephanie No. Shes actually at (...) now... and my step brothers.. creates a lot of anxiety...
Therapist ...shes in a lot of well... shes doing it alone. Now.. a little kind of...
Stephanie the same way.
Therapist ...shes starting with it.
Stephanie exactly.

Reflection was said to be the missing link in in the ever ambiguous and dynamic process of communication. According to the Talk Book, a reflection shall require having the other part of the conversation reflect or present back the other ends experience (1988). The part of Stephanie and the therapists conversation presented above shows how the therapist reflected on what her client said. When Stephanie revealed that she is not an only child, the therapist immediately reflected on her situation and assumed that indeed, there were a lot of special people in Stephanies life she had to let go. Stephanie apparently affirmed the assumption and this created a situation that seems to show that the two parties are finally understanding each other already. In the latter part of this conversation, the understanding appears to be deeper as the therapists reflections to what Stephanie says appear to be more accurate and certain. As the conversation progressed, it appeared easier for the therapist to complete what her client was trying to say, and there were also times when she would supplement what the client says. To sense some level of reflection especially in an intimate conversation is indeed necessary. It lets the other end of the conversation feel that he or she is well understood. However, in the context of this conversation, although it is apparent that the therapist manifested some sense of reflection, some of her words appeared short of what seems to be a more perceivable reflection of Stephanies experiences.

Interpretations
Therapist Have you expressed how you felt
Stephanie No. No. But, its my fault. Of course she likes to come back too, and its my fault that Im on a job... Its my fault that I have my friends.
Therapist How was it when she started at alcohol
Stephanie Excruciating. Excruciating cause are good choices Ive made... because there are things that I love and I like to do ... When I talk to her I just want to be heard. I mean... that everythings gonna be okay... I dont get that... just deal with it.
Therapist Are you an only child
Stephanie No. No. I have one brother and four step brothers and sisters.
Therapist ...persons you had to let go
Stephanie Yeah.
Therapist Which is why shes on housing...
Stephanie No. Shes actually at (...) now... and my step brothers.. creates a lot of anxiety...
Therapist ...shes in a lot of well... shes doing it alone. Now.. a little kind of...
Stephanie the same way.

As it appears, interpretations, as a form of response is one of the most common when it comes to conversations between intimate people like siblings or friends. Interpretations serve to let one end of the conversation share his or her analysis on the experience, thought, idea or action of the other end of the conversation (Goodman  Esterly, 1988). In this part of the conversation, an attempt to interpret Stephanies words can be observed when the therapist started asking a series of questions on Stephanies feelings. The therapist also made some short assumptions on Stephanies mothers actions which can be seen as another way of interpreting their situation. However, this kind of interpretation is not that effective in the sense that, it does not appear to help the client have realizations in relation to the experiences she was sharing to the therapist. The therapist could have interpreted Stephanies feelings and her mothers actions more elaborately so as to give Stephanie the feeling that the therapist was really trying to help. The therapist could have extracted more of Stephanies experiences and interpreted them more extensively through her own words. This could have given Stephanie more assurance that she is being heard.

Advisements
Therapist Do you wanna contact your mom   and (get that relationship back)...
Stephanie Exactly, exactly.
Therapist So, going back to what happened when you left.
Stephanie I think its inevitable. Now shes   I guess shes working... But I know shes good. Im glad that she has something... I think she thought of my Dad. Cause my Dad wanted me to be that away to school... so that shell think that its his fault. And now she thinks that its my fault. Shes just close, I think shes just close... and abandoned.
Therapist Have you expressed how you felt
Stephanie No. No. But, its my fault. Of course she likes to come back too, and its my fault that Im on a job... Its my fault that I have my friends.

This form of response appears common among consultations. This response is usually given by experts who are being asked for advise or suggestions. This form of response is commonly always taken seriously as these are typically ideas that help in alleviating a situation or solving a dilemma. After going through the entire conversation of Stephanie and her therapist, it clearly appears that the conversation is more of a sharing rather than a consultation. The therapist wanted to hear what Stephanie had to share, and these information shall be analyzed in her objective to understand where Stephanies anxieties are coming from. In this part of the conversation, some short statements somehow appear to be attempts of advisements. In the beginning, the therapist asked whether Stephanie wants to contact her mom to get their relationship back to how it was before. Although this idea was said in an interrogative manner, it somehow appeared like an attempt to advise Stephanie to contact her mom. The therapist also mentioned in the end about Stephanies expression of her feelings. Again, although this statement was said in a question form, it also appears to be a subtle advise to Stephanie to try at least expressing to her mom how she feels. Considering the fact that this was not a consultation session, it is understandable that the therapist did not give much advisements. However, it could have helped if she did give serious and straighforward advisements so as to make Stephanie feel that the therapist cared.

Questions
Therapist Do you wanna contact your mom   and (get that relationship back)...
Stephanie Exactly, exactly.
...
Therapist Have you expressed how you felt
Stephanie No. No. But, its my fault. Of course she likes to come back too, and its my fault that Im on a job... Its my fault that I have my friends.
Therapist How was it when she started at alcohol
Stephanie Excruciating. Excruciating cause are good choices Ive made... because there are things that I love and I like to do ... When I talk to her I just want to be heard. I mean... that everythings gonna be okay... I dont get that... just deal with it.
Therapist Are you an only child
Stephanie No. No. I have one brother and four step brothers and sisters.
Therapist ...persons you had to let go
Stephanie Yeah.

Question was said to be  the most popular piece of language  (Goodman  Esterly, 1988). Most of the time, questions are being uttered in the objective of finding out a significant piece of knowledge from another person. This form of response has been observed mostly among children since children are the most curious and inquisitive people. However, this form of speech or response can also be very evident in consultation and therapeutic and analytical conversations since the other end is supposed to work on discovering things about the client that are important in analyzing or interpreting his or her situation. This was the case in the context of this conversation between Stephanie and her therapist. It is quite obvious that it became necessary for the therapist to ask questions since some unsaid information may appear relevant in her analysis of Stephanies anxieties or dilemmas. In observing how the therapist asked questions, it was obvious that she was plainly aiming to collect information from Stephanie as what is apparent from her short questions. The questioning appeared to ber effective though, as most of it were not just simply answered rather, Stephanie willingly elaborated on such questions which made it a lot easier for the therapist to extract valuable information from her client.

Silences
Stephanie But   when I was in college she said shes drinking, and really became alcoholic during the summer, and her personality has changed   and that she cant not drink. So our whole dynamic has changed, and I dont like to condone what she does, so it makes it very hard for me to contact her. Because I want her to get help, and I want her to work through it... just to teach her... so I dont want that to affect her work, I know how much that will hurt her. Its not gonna happen ... So, I just feel very isolated, and alone  
Therapist Do you wanna contact your mom   and (get that relationship back)...
Stephanie Exactly, exactly.
Therapist So, going back to what happened when you left...

This was the part of Stephanies conversation with her therapist that had the most silences. According to Goodman and Esterly (1988), silences serve as cues or signs of a more meaningful message. In understanding the context of this conversation, Stephanie suddenly toned down a little bit and seemed to paused more when she shifted her discussion from her dilemmas at work to her problems in relation to her mother, who just became an alcoholic. In this context, the silence of Stephanie may appear to mean a deeper kind of feeling. As Stephanie revealed that she used to be very close to her mother before, the silences became a much more understandable. Apparently, those silences where due to some sudden flash of negative emotions that might have been brought by Stephanies thoughts on communicating with her mom. These silences are very important to note and observe on the side of the therapist since these pauses may really convey deeper meanings. However, these pauses are also easy to be misunderstood. Thus, it also takes a critical and a more sensitive judgment before the real meanings of these pauses are revealed. However, as it appears from the therapists corresponding queries, her understanding of the pauses were accurate as what can be observed when she asked Stephanie if she wants to contact her mom. This implies that the therapists understanding of such pauses has been effective, and her sensitivity and critical judgment on her clients silences has been very accurate.

Transcription of audio file Stephanie_Gelb_-_beginning.wav

Therapist Its so good to see you.
Stephanie Its good to see you... Im gonna talk about... I live in a very isolated place, and its very hard to get to know people. I have a job that kinda keeps me in one area all the time. And Id like to meet people and have fun but, Im kinda limiting the people I see on a daily basis. And I spend so much time at work. When I get home, I do not want to talk about work. And the only people I know are the people I work with. Its very, very odd hours, so I cant just go to the gym or sign up for a class or meet someone there a little bit or something like that   I thought, oh I can meet with people doing this... go have fun together, lets go to the movies alone. What makes it worst is that, I used to have a little close relationship to my mom, my best friend. And after I went to college it kinda was really hard to keep in touch, and she hated that I ran away to school cause she is my best friend ... But   when I was in college she said shes drinking, and really became alcoholic during the summer, and her personality has changed   and that she cant not drink. So our whole dynamic has changed, and I dont like to condone what she does, so it makes it very hard for me to contact her. Because I want her to get help, and I want her to work through it... just to teach her... so I dont want that to affect her work, I know how much that will hurt her. Its not gonna happen ... So, I just feel very isolated, and alone ...
Therapist Do you wanna contact your mom   and (get that relationship back)...

Stephanie Exactly, exactly.
Therapist So, going back to what happened when you left.
Stephanie I think its inevitable. Now shes   I guess shes working... But I know shes good. Im glad that she has something... I think she thought of my Dad. Cause my Dad wanted me to be that away to school... so that shell think that its his fault. And now she thinks that its my fault. Shes just close, I think shes just close... and abandoned.
Therapist Have you expressed how you felt
Stephanie No. No. But, its my fault. Of course she likes to come back too, and its my fault that Im on a job... Its my fault that I have my friends.
Therapist How was it when she started at alcohol
Stephanie Excruciating. Excruciating cause are good choices Ive made... because there are things that I love and I like to do ... When I talk to her I just want to be heard. I mean... that everythings gonna be okay... I dont get that... just deal with it.
Therapist Are you an only child
Stephanie No. No. I have one brother and four step brothers and sisters.
Therapist ...persons you had to let go
Stephanie Yeah.
Therapist Which is why shes on housing...
Stephanie No. Shes actually at (...) now... and my step brothers.. creates a lot of anxiety...
Therapist ...shes in a lot of well... shes doing it alone. Now.. a little kind of...
Stephanie the same way.
Therapist ...shes starting with it.
Stephanie exactly.
Therapist Are you in contact when you were away... is it by phone or..
Stephanie Yes. Over the phone. And over the phone here is better... for when she comes here   its just drama. Drama, drama.. Drinking and cutting me out.. and you know. Not motherly bonding, that I know I get to see her once a year.. or two times a year... or she going... not talk to her... I know my Mom... you know.
Therapist ...is your best friend... So we are now evaluating Stephanie.