Impact of Age Differences in Relationship Satisfaction Among Couples
Acknowledgements
I would like to express my eternal gratitude to my supervisor who has guided and directed me throughout the course of this research. I am especially grateful for the helpful criticism and advice that was offered by my supervisor from the initial stages to the very end of this research. I am grateful for the valuable insight that helped me to put this study in its proper perspective and to focus on that which was relevant and important.
Chapter One
Introduction
Falling in love is an experience that is highly sought after and valued in the West. The idea of romantic love is pervasively considered as the most important ground for marriage and relationship satisfaction (Hendrick and Hendrick 2000135). Romantic love is often characterised as an intense yearning for and need to be with another who is passionately desired (Montgomery and Sorell 199755) and urgent and intense feelings that attract and hold adults in relationships (Pistole 199415). What we observe about relationships at present, adds several questions on love as a concept and how people sustain their relationships and their marriage. There are normative perceptions on relationships, such as the ages that are most suitable for an enduring partnership. Generally, the average age gap in UK marriages is over two years and women marry men who are older (BBC News 2008). But what about those considered taboo relationships, such as age-gap relationships, or relationships characterised by a substantial age difference among its partners Will the age difference greatly affect the sustainability and satisfaction derived out of the relationship
The popular notion that love is blind supports the view that as long as such highly passionate feelings exists among couples, the relationship or marriage will work. Emphasis on love as a feeling is often high to the extent that the absence of such passion often merits a questioning of the success of a relationship. However, research reveals that there is more to relationship satisfaction than the presence of romantic love (Hendrick and Hendrick 1986). The intensity of romantic love experienced by couples seldom endures and seems to sustain the relationship only for a few months or years and eventually break up but some couples have succeeding in sustaining their intimate relationships.
Most writers now support the idea that people experience different types of love across time (Sternberg and Hojjat 1997). Consequently, people change their attitudes and beliefs about love as they and their relationships mature. Perhaps the most influential theorist who pursued the study of love across the developmental stages is John Lee (1973), who came up with the Colours of Love theory which eventually became the basis for the questionnaire called the Love Attitudes Scale (LAS) constructed by Hendrick and Hendrick (1986). Lee viewed love as having six typologies Eros (romantic love) Ludus (game-playing love) Storge (friendship-based love) Pragma (practical love) Mania (obsessive love) and Agape (altruistic, selfless love) (Hendrick and Hendrick 1986393). Building on Lees theory and with the use of LAS, several studies on love, relationships, and relationship satisfaction emerged. These studies found that certain variables could explain for the differences in the love styles people experience, age being one of them.
Some writers concluded that peoples experience on loving evolves over time (Walster and Walster 1978 and Sternberg 1987). Almost all couples begin with passionate love in a relationship which gradually develops into companionate love. As couples become more familiar with each other, their notions on intimacy change from love dependent on physical attraction, passion, or emotional intensity to one that is grounded on affection (Walster and Walster 19789). Sternberg (1987) predicted that factors such as passion, intimacy, and commitment that a couple experience would evolve as the relationship matures with passion and intimacy decreasing and commitment increasing, before gradually levelling off. Another study by Josselson (cited in Montgomery and Sorell 1997) showed that relationships eventually develop from one heavily focused on emotion and fantasy to one which centralises on cooperation and companionship.
If studies have noted changes across time on how people experience loving (from intimate to committed or from passionate to companionate), differences in attitudinal beliefs toward love have also been observed across different stages of adulthood. Hendrick and Hendrick (1986) suggested that over the course of a persons life span, there is a developmental sequence in love attitudes. People undergo a modal developmental sequence of love styles in the following manner adolescents are characterised by Manic love early adulthood is characterised by a preference toward Eros during the middle and late years of adulthood, the love styles eventually evolve into Pragma or Storge. Research studies have also pinpointed preferences of love styles among younger and older partners involved in close relationships. For instance, younger partners are more inclined to perceive Eros (game-playing) or Mania (obsessive love) as positive predictors of love while older partners look at game-playing negatively (Grote and Frieze 1994, Frazier and Esterly 1990, and Butler et al. 1990). Other studies also indicate that older partners valued Agape (altruistic love), commitment, and loyalty to a greater extent than younger partners (Montgomery and Sorell 1997 and Gall et al. 2002).
The beliefs and attitudes that people attribute to love have a significant impact on relationship satisfaction (Hendrick, Hendrick, and Adler 1988). Several studies using the LAS as instrument have concluded that relationship satisfaction was greater among people who score high on Eros and Agape while satisfaction was significantly lower for those who scored high on Ludus (Frazier and Esterly 1990). Similarly, the strongest predictor of relationship satisfaction was Eros or passionate love (Contreras et al. 1996 and Inman-Amos, Hendrick and Hendrick 1994). Ludus predicted less satisfaction in the intimate relationship, while the same conclusion was limited only to men (Hendrick, Hendrick, and Adler 1988). Other researchers also revealed that more erotic partners were more satisfied with their relationships while the more ludic partners were less satisfied (Davis and Latty-Mann 1987 and Hendrick, Hendrick, and Adler 1988).
Studies that examined the impact of age with relationship satisfaction have come up with mixed results. Some studies found that perceptions on satisfaction across age groups could be generalised. Reedy, Birren, and Schaie (1981) suggest that older couples equate satisfaction with commitment, mutual dependability, and loyalty, while younger generations of couples value commitment less and require honest and open communication. Moreover, the emphasis on erotic love is said to decline with age, and older partners in a relationship attribute satisfaction to companionship and cooperation rather than sexual desire (Hendrick and Hendrick 1995). Some studies have also shown that the age of partners in a relationship has minimal or no impact on reported levels of satisfaction (Schmitt, Kliegel, and Shapiro 2007).
These contradictory findings merit further investigation on the question What is the impact of age gap or age difference in reported levels of satisfaction among couples Hence, the present study.
Research Problem
This research aims to examine how age gap or age difference present in relationships can influence attitudes and beliefs on love and in consequence, relationship satisfaction. In its investigation, two instruments will be used the Dyadic Adjustment Scale (Spanier 1976) and the Relationship Assessment Scale (Hendrick 1988).
The main focus of this research is to determine the impact of age differences in reported levels of relationship satisfaction among couples. Specifically, the study proposes to answer the following research questions, to wit
What are the attitudinal beliefs on love and relationship reported by the respondents
What is the level of relationship satisfaction reported
Do age differences have an impact in reported levels of relationship satisfaction
Research Importance
There has been increasing interest on relationship research as a field of study into human associations and relationships. Although there have been many studies that looked into relationship beliefs and relationship satisfaction, there has not been much emphasis on the role of the age gap or age difference in explaining possible variations in attitudinal beliefs on love among couples. Not only will this study be a welcome addition to the existing database of relationship research, it will also provide fresh insight into how differences in age among couples could impact their perceptions on love as well as their level of relationship satisfaction.
Research Objectives
In the conduct of this investigation, several research objectives are considered
To explain the importance of relationship beliefs in reported levels of relationship satisfaction. A primary objective of this study is to present the beliefs and perceptions couples have vis-a-vis their close relationships and how these beliefs may be influential in their judgments of how satisfied they are with their current relationships. In so doing, this research will be able to generate possible areas of implication for subsequent relationship studies and future research.
To examine the impact of differences in relationship beliefs and consequent agreement or disagreement on levels of reported satisfaction. This study will bring to light the different factors that may be the cause in differing levels of satisfaction reported between couples. Determining these factors will be crucial in exploring the impact they may have on future relationship longevity andor satisfaction.
To determine possible factors affecting reported relationship satisfaction. In the course of the research, factors including perceptions on love, sexual attitudes, level of relationship commitment, and self-admission may account for the variations of reported level of satisfaction among the respondents. Consequently, these factors may highlight an important area for future research that could build on the present literature.
Chapter Two
Methodology
Design and Ethical Considerations
The purpose of this research is to develop and build on existing literature on the impact of age differences on relationship satisfaction among couples. The research methodology involved both a qualitative and quantitative approach. The qualitative approach involved an examination of previous research studies that measured relationship satisfaction and the factors that affect reported levels of relationship satisfaction. The literature focusing on measures relating to behaviour or attitudes and perspectives on interpersonal relationships were the key to formulating and setting the conceptual framework for this research. In this regard the academic resources for the qualitative research included electronic academic databases such as PsychoINFO. A number of sources on empirical research studies relating to relationship satisfaction and factors contributing to it were also derived from journals from both online and print sources and from academic textbooks.
The quantitative research involved the collection of data from a sample population of undergraduate university students. The data was derived from questionnaires designed to determine attitudes and perspectives on love and relationship satisfaction among an age group of age variations from ages 18-27. The idea was to test the hypothesis that emotional and cognitive development varied along the lifespan.
Participants
I distributed a three part questionnaire with the focal point on the Self-Assessment The Love Attitudes Scale developed by David Knox among approximately 100 university students between the ages of 18 and 27 (See Appendix for questionnaire). This sample was selected for the purpose of identifying the interpersonal relationships between non-married couples among undergraduates and the potential individual differences in reported levels of beliefs, attitudes and satisfaction, using self-report questionnaires one of which examines in detail the impact of age difference, and another examining general relationship beliefs and attitudes. A majority of the respondents were females comprising at least 70 percent of all participants. The remaining 40 percent of the participants were male.
ProcedureMaterial Used
The results were measured on a 5 point scale (1 Strongly agree 2 Mildly agree 3 Undecided 4 Mildly disagree and 5 Strongly disagree). Relationship satisfaction was assessed by reference to the Relationship Assessment Scale (Hendrick 1988) which touches on specific relationship traits such as love, problems and expectations. There are 7 items including questions about the extent to which your relationship met your initial expectations and as indicated are assessed on a five point scale. Items reflecting a negative response were calculated by virtue of a reverse code so that higher scores were indicative of a greater expression of relationship satisfaction.
Using the one-way ANOVA I measured the variation within the sample to find the sum of the squared deviation between the scores on the Love Attitude Scale. I then divided the sample population into two groups with one group representing those between the ages of 18 and 22 and those between the ages of 23 and 27. I then calculated measures for each group separately and then totaled the group values. The mean score for the group between the age of 18 and 22 was 42 indicating that they were idealistic about their perceptions of love and idealism could lead to dissatisfaction. The mean score for the group between the age of 23 and 27 was 122 indicating that this age group bordered on extremely realistic. This corresponds with the literature review that emotional maturity parallels cognitive development along the lifespan.
The ANOVA calculation was conducted as follows
Group Subjects Mean Deviation
A 18-11 yo 42 0
B 23-27 yo 122 0
I also relied on academic studies examining relationship assessment, using relationship satisfaction measures such as dyadic Adjustment Scale (Spanier, 1976), 7 item Relationship Assessment Scale (Hendrick, 1988), Love Attitudes Scale (Hendrick and Hendrick, 1986) and Sexual Attitudes Scale (Hendrick, Hendrick, Slapion-Foote and Foote, 1985). The 7 item Relationship Assessment Scale is used to measure relationship satisfaction and it is an instrument designed to be brief, easily administered and scored measure of satisfaction in relationships in general. It is not meant to be restricted to measuring marital satisfaction. I used the 7 item Relationships Assessment Scale because it has a very good constituency and high reliability level. It also has good concurrent validity, with significant correlations with a number of subsclales of love attitudes scale. It also has a good and reliable predictive validity, and significantly distinguishes between couples who subsequently stayed together or broke up.
The Love Attitudes Scale is used for measuring components of love. Firstly, love satisfaction provides one method through which to view a relationship between partners. Secondly, love satisfaction is a construct that lends itself to prediction by a variety of other relationships phenomena. Moreover, the domain of love is very important for individual lives. Therefore, the Love Attitude Scale is essential for assessing relationship satisfaction.
Secondary sources gathered relating to previous research studies reported in the literature review are used to delineate possible differences observed between the current and previous research on relationship assessment. This comparison also aid in the identification of the differences between the present research and the prior studies investigating the role that age differences may play in reported relationship satisfaction.
In this regard, the primary data collection consists of self-report questionnaires which are significant methods for gaining a vast and varied amount of information on a persons personal beliefs, perspectives and attitudes. The information collected from the sample population via these questionnaires are helpful for presenting research capable of illustrating the factors affecting perceived relationship satisfaction and for determining whether or not age differences has any impact on relationship satisfaction. Open-ended questions also permit a greater degree of information for evaluation and assessment.
Chapter Two
Review of Related Literature
This section presents a review of previous studies that have examined relationship satisfaction and its predictors in an attempt to construct the foundation for an investigation of how age gap or age difference impacts the level of relationship satisfaction. There is a paucity in research that explores the impact of age gap or age difference in relationship satisfaction among intimate partners. Extant literature, however, suggests that age is an influential factor on how couples explain and conceptualise love and measure satisfaction in close relationships. This literature review intends to examine the theoretical background of the concept of relationship satisfaction, studies examining love as predictor of satisfaction, and previous studies that explored the role of age on love attitudes and relationship satisfaction.
Satisfaction defined
To people who are engaged in a close relationship marital, cohabiting, or serious dating - the issue of satisfaction is significant. Satisfaction is tied directly to whether or not a couple ultimately stays together or breaks up (Hendrick, Hendrick, and Adler 1988). Determining how satisfaction can be measured in order to find ways for couples to stay together has led to various researches on the subject.
By definition, satisfaction is one of many terms used to evaluate a close relationship and is viewed by some social scientists from either the relational or individual perspective (Glenn, cited in Hernberg and Hojjat 1997 43). Satisfaction refers to a partners subjective, affective experiencing of their contentment and happiness over their intimate relationship (Hernberg and Hojjat 199758). The individual perspective treats satisfaction as a judgment that is reflective of couples subjective feelings about their relationship while the relational perspective treats satisfaction as an evaluation of actual relationship behaviours.
One of the major determinants of relationship satisfaction is love (Hendrick, Hendrick, and Adler 1991, and Hendrick 1995). A widely-used approach to studying love is the multidimensional theory developed by Lee (1973) which presents six major loving styles Eros or passionate love Storge or friendship-based love Ludus or game-playing love Pragma or practical love Mania or possessive love and Agape or altruistic love. This framework has been the basis for the construction of several measures on beliefs and attitudes about love, among them the Love Attitudes Scale (Hendrick and Hendrick 1986, 1990), the Relationship Assessment Scale (Hendrick 1988), the Sexual Attitudes Scale (Hendrick et al. 1985), and the Dyadic Adjustment Scale (Spanier 1976).
Hendrick et al. (1984) pioneered one of the most significant researches on relationship satisfaction using Lees theoretical model on love. A study was conducted involving over 800 students from the University of Miami where participants were asked to complete a 54-item Love Attitudes Scale (LAS). Gender differences were concluded on responses of the participants on the scale. Males were inclined to report erotic and ludic attitudes towards love whereas females were manic, pragmatic, and storgic in terms of love attitudes. Subsequent studies have confirmed gender differences in love styles and beliefs regarding satisfaction.
Age as predictor of love attitudes and relationship satisfaction
Studies have aimed to determine predictors of relationship satisfaction by evaluating attitudes and perceptions toward love. The relation of age vis-a-vis love attitudes or relationship satisfaction has not been explored as thoroughly as other individual traits such as sex or relationship experience (Hendrick, Hendrick, and Adler 1988, Hendrick et al. 1994, and Hendrick and Hendrick 1995). These studies have pointed to significant gender differences in love attitudes and beliefs about relationships (Hendrick, Hendrick, and Adler 1988, and Worobey 2000). Moreover, majority of the studies aimed at examining love attitudes or sexual attitudes have focused on the very young (Grote and Frieze 1994 and Gall et al. 2002). Social scientists have also generally drawn answers about love using samples of college students, but there have been studies that sought to examine interpersonal relationships and relationship satisfaction across the life span.
Age could be a significant factor on how partners measure relationship satisfaction and on characterising relationship behaviours that lead toward it. The general assumption is that Eros or passionate love declines with age, although this assertion has been challenged (Hendrick 1995). Some studies suggest that intergenerational attitudes toward love are similar. Inman-Amos, Hendrick, and Hendrick (1994) used the Love Attitudes Scale to determine where significant differences can be observed on the attitudes of parents and their adult children toward love. The study reported that younger and older generations do not differ significantly in describing relationship satisfaction in terms of passionate love (Eros) and friendship-oriented (Storge) love. In a similar fashion, Contreras et al. (1996) wanted to examine love attitudes in a cross-cultural sample of participants who were 30 to 60 years old. All age groups indicated that passionate love (Eros) is strongly predictive of satisfaction in close relationships (Contreras et al. 1996412).
On the other hand, Reedy, Birren, and Schaie (1981) concluded that older and younger partners in a marriage differ in perceptions of satisfaction. The study concluded that older partners in a relationship generally equate satisfaction in love and relationships with traits such as mutual dependability, commitment, and loyalty. Younger generations, on the other hand, value long-term commitment and loyalty less and emphasise on honest communication.
Grote and Frieze (1994) examined love as a predictor in marital satisfaction across the middle-aged married population. Comparing it with the perceptions of younger couples, the study concluded that age leads to differences on how couples attributed marital satisfaction on love styles. Younger couples were more endorsing of game-playing styles than middle-aged couples. Younger couples considered game-playing love as a positive predictor in relationship satisfaction whereas middle-aged couples viewed game-playing love as a negative predictor. The older couples attributed friendship-based love and passionate love as positive predictors of relationship satisfaction. Game-playing styles are considered negatively correlated to the length of a close relationship, meaning couples are less likely to endorse game playing as the years go by (Frazier and Esterly 1990343). The propensity to endorse game-playing styles are suggested to be found among persons inclined to form only brief relationships with a certain a person until another person convinces them otherwise.
Frazier and Esterly (1990) also determined the influence of age along with several factors such as gender, personality, and relationship experience in evaluating relationship attitudes. Using a sample of 337 subjects aged 19 to 47 years old, the study utilised a combination of instruments, including the Relationship Assessment Scale (RAS) to assess relationship beliefs, relationship experience, gender-specific personality attributes, and relationship satisfaction. Sex and relationship experience were highly predictive of relationship beliefs. The study found that men engaged in more game-playing in their relationships than women because they emphasise on sex more than women and place less importance on the emotional aspect of their intimate relationships.
Montgomery and Sorell (1997) conducted an assessment of love styles using the Love Attitudes Scale across four age groups a) single college-age adults b) married participants below 30 years old who are childless c) married persons aged 20 to 40 years old and d) older married adults aged more than 50 years old. Significant differences in love styles were observed among different age groups. Major differences were concluded on explanations of love across young participants and other participants. Younger persons tended to report higher manic love (Mania) and higher game-playing love (Ludus) than all the other age groups. Younger persons also reported less altruistic love (Agape) than the rest of the participants.
Butler et al. (1999) explored the relationship between age and love attitudes. Using the Love Attitudes Scale (LAS) as primary measure, the researchers used a sample of college-aged and middle-aged subjects and wanted to address two issues 1) the age generalisability of responses produced by the LAS and 2) the relation of age and scores of subjects on the subscales of the LAS. Butler et al. (1999) concluded that responses on the especially on the Mania and Agape subscales among college-aged and middle-aged subjects were generalisable, specifically on the female subgroup. Although there were significant relations between certain love styles and age, the study indicated that based on the data, general perceptions of love among people remain constant until the middle age.
Age can also be considered as a predictor of sexual attitudes, which forms a significant component in relationship studies. Gall et al. (2002) conducted an exploratory study on the relationship of sexual attitudes with variables such as age and religiosity. The researchers used a sample of 800 adult participants with ages ranging from 18 to 87 years old. The sample was grouped into four young adults (mean22.2) adults (mean37.24) middle-age adults (mean56.27) and older adults (mean70.84). The study utilised the 43-item Sexual Attitudes Scale (Hendrick and Hendrick 1987) which divided sexual attitudes into four subscales, namely Permissiveness, Instrumentality, Sexual Practices, and Communion. Gall et al. (2002) concluded that age is a significant predictor of sexual attitudes, particularly in terms of Permissiveness and Instrumentality attitudes. Younger participants reported higher permissiveness than older participants. Younger men appeared more instrumental in sexual attitudes than older men. This finding supports the results of studies which conclude that sexual activity declines with old age (Brubaker and Roberto 1987 cited in Johnson and Booth 1998220 and Levine 199879).
The impact of age in relation to the dyadic environment has also been studied. Johnson and Booth (1998) utilised the Dyadic Adjustment Scale (DAS) and found that dyadic interactions are highly determinant of marital stability but does not discount the influence of individual qualities such as age, sex, and mental health that could affect the quality of marriage (Johnson and Booth 1998 219).
Schmitt, Kliegel, and Shapiro (2007) endeavoured to investigate the impact of dyadic interactions in long-term marriages involving couples belonging to middle- and old-age groups. The study focused on how stable and dispositional factors in marital interaction predict satisfaction in long-term marriages. Using measures that include the Dyadic Adjustment Scale, data from 588 married men and women in the middle- and old- age levels were gathered and the differences in age and gender were examined across several determinants of marital satisfaction, including personality, socio-economic status, and marital interaction. The study found that personality and socio-economic variables such as age play a minimal role in predicting satisfaction. Dyadic interactions were found to be significant in determining satisfaction. Women valued high quality marital interactions to be positive determinants of marital satisfaction. However, negligible age differences were noted among the responses of participants (Schmitt, Kliegel, and Shapiro 2007 290).
Summary
At present, there is little research that focuses on so-called age gap relationships or relationships wherein the difference in ages between partners in a close relationship is substantially high. However, there have been several studies on relationship satisfaction that have suggested how age influences love attitudes and measurements of satisfaction among couples. Findings have however produced contradictory results. Some studies assert that love styles and sexual attitudes could be generalised within age groups. Specifically, they purport that younger partners are more likely to view game-playing and possessive love positively while older partners view game playing negatively. Older persons were also found to emphasise more on altruistic love and passionate love, commitment, and loyalty, while younger persons place a lesser value on these relationship variables. Some studies also suggest that age is not a significant factor in satisfaction. Findings from the literature reviewed will assist in outlining and setting the framework for examining whether or not age gap or age difference impacts level of relationship satisfaction among couples.
Chapter Three
Results
Approximately 90 of the three part questionnaires were returned completed and findings are consistent with the literature review indicating that perceptions of love and commitment differ from one individual to another. The results were virtually split on the question of the importance of love over common interests. There was a definite distinction in the responses between the mean scores for the group comprised of individuals between the ages of 18 and 22 and the group between the ages of 23 and 27, although both groups shares common values (see Appendix 2). For example both groups were unanimously opposed to the idea that love was violent. In other words all of the respondents from both age groups recorded an individual score of 5 (strongly disagree) on the question suggesting that love was violent. Similarly, both groups were virtually unanimous in that they mildly agreed with the statement that in most cases you will know when you meet the right partner. This suggests that for the most part all young adults are more realistic about the importance of getting to know your partner before making a commitment.
There was a sharp distinction in the mean scores on the question of
While approximately most of the respondents in the group between the ages of 23 and 27 strongly disagreed that as long as you love someone it didnt matter what they did, most of the group between the ages of 18 and 22 was undecided. This particular result reflects a greater level of emotional maturity among the older group and perhaps a step in that direction for the younger group, although they were not quite there yet. At the very least, the younger groups response demonstrates that they have reached a stage in their emotional maturity where they are at least beginning to doubt the romanticized perspective of love.
Interestingly, an overwhelming number of respondents did not agree that it doesnt matter if you marry after having only known your partner for a short time as long as you know that you are in love. The average mean score for the group between the ages of 18 and 22 was 4 (mildly disagree) and the average mean score for the group between the ages of 23 and 27 was 5 (strongly disagree). This response in particular indicates that while perceptions of love differ in terms of it importance to many persons, it is not the only defining factor in a relationship. These results are consistent with research findings that relationship satisfaction is dependent on a number of variables including emotional maturity that comes with age and experience. The younger group were not as adamantly opposed to the idea as the older group which illustrates more emotional maturity among the older group with a growth in that direction for the younger group.
These results are also consistent with the findings recorded in the literature review that love and perceptions of love are entirely complex and differs from one human being to another. It is also consistent with research findings that gender and relationship experiences can impact upon human perceptions of love. Obviously, respondents were characterizing their attitudes toward the strength of this particular question based on their own relationship experiences and based on their specific values in a relationship. These values, according to the literature review are quite often gender specific.
Results also indicate that perceptions of the role of love in marriage is significant for the younger group than it is for the older group. The mean score for the younger group of respondents mildly agreed with question 16 with a mean score of 2 while the older groups mean score was 4 indicating that they mildly disagreed. Question 16 states that it is necessary to be in love with your spouse in order to be happy. Question number 18 which states that people should not get married unless they are in love had vastly similar results. The younger group had a mean score of 2 while the older group had a mean score of 5. The results of these two questions therefore indicate that perceptions generally are that love is necessary for relationship satisfaction but relationships are formed for other reasons. The researcher attributes the disparity among the groups with respect to these two answers to the fact that some respondents may feel that it is sometimes necessary to marry for the sake of children or for other social reasons and while love is preferable it is not the only reason why couples marry. In other words, love is the most important predictor of relationship satisfaction for the younger group, but for the older group other factors may contribute to relationship satisfaction.
The primary data analysis confirms the findings emanating from the secondary research data. The secondary research data indicates that relationship satisfaction is primarily reliant upon how people perceive love and expressions of love. The sample participating in the Love Attitudes Scale correspond with secondary data presented in the literature review that the perceptions of love remain constant until middle age. The age variations from 18-27 demonstrates that there some differences in perceptions of love and its relationship to marriage between the two age groups. This indicates to the researcher that the primary data is consistent with the literature review in relation to different perspectives and the fact that emotional and cognitive development progresses with age.
I also distributed two additional parts of the questionnaire attached to the Love Attitudes Scale questionnaire. The first part of the questionnaire was designed to solicit information such as age, partners age, gender and length of relationships. A majority of the relationships were close in age so that the researcher was unable to identify a trend related specifically to age. None of the relationships were of significant duration, with the longest relationship lasting for 2 years and the average relationship lasting for 6 months. I discounted this information on the basis of the groups ages and their commitment to obtaining a second degree education. However, the third part of the questionnaire was entirely informative in that it identified problem areas in relationships that demonstrate that relationship dissatisfaction occurs among all same age couples indicating that age similarities does not guarantee relationship satisfaction. By analogy, it is likewise reasonable to conclude that age differences do not automatically predict that relationship dissatisfaction follows.
Only 20 percent of the respondents indicated that their partners met their needs extremely well (See Appendix 3). This response was split among the two age groups with little disparity in the responses. Controlling for the fact that the respondents are university students and primarily focused on studies and have other commitments reducing the energies and commitments that can be put into intimate relationships, the percentage remains high. This is so because, the mere fact that students have the presence of mind to identify their needs and to assess their partners ability to meet those needs indicate that their partners are just as free to respond to those needs. As demonstrated by the literature and discussed in the next chapter this is not surprising among younger persons in relationships. Middle aged persons are more sensitive to others emotional and social needs and are better equipped, at least emotionally to respond to those needs. The age group among the sample size corresponds with the literature review in that younger couples are more self-centered and negative in their attitudes.
The same trend followed with respect to questions 2-5. In general most the respondents are unsatisfied in their relationships, very often wish they hadnt gotten involved and rate their relationships as average when compared to others. The researcher puts this to relationship experience, a factor identified in the secondary literature as shaping perceptions of love and love styles. Obviously the respondents do not generally think that relationships are satisfactory and this explains why they describe their relationships as unsatisfactory and average when compared to others.
In the final analysis, the responses to this questionnaire indicates that the respondents relatively young age is a factor in their expectations and general satisfaction with relationships. This is derived from the fact that they are not satisfied with their current relationships which are with persons of virtually the same age group. It would appear that lack of experience and emotional growth is a factor in the respondents ability to select partners and nurture satisfactory relationships as a whole. It would have been interesting to know how the participants would have responded had they been in relationships with persons of much younger or older ages.
Chapter Four
DiscussionConclusion
My research builds on the literature on assessing relationship satisfaction with a particular emphasis on direct assessment of personal and couples self-satisfaction reports. Much of the research focuses on the impact of gender and relationship experience on relationship satisfaction with very little attention to how and if age differences among couples impacts relationship satisfaction. In general, the literature reveals that studies are focused on correlating gender and relationship experience over into an examination of attitudes and perceptions of love as a technique for assessing relationship satisfaction. Studies tend to indicate a difference among genders with respect to attitudes toward love and beliefs in relationships (Hendrick, Hendrick and Adler 1988 and Worobey 2000). Unfortunately, a vast majority of the studies have focused too narrowly on young persons (Grote and Frieze 1994 and Gall et al 2002).
Even so, all indications are that age can and does have an impact on how couples characterize relationship satisfaction and conduct that achieve or fail to achieve relationship satisfaction. Perceptions and understanding of love alone bear this out. General perceptions among researchers are that love is complex and contributes to mutual sharing and support(Turner 1996, 266). It is the primary predictor of relationship satisfaction and is largely reflected by verbal and physical expression and involves being sensitive to a partner and valuing ones partner.
In the questionnaires I distributed among a sample of 100 undergraduate students ranging in ages fro 18-27 I was able to confirm that perceptions of relationship satisfaction and corresponding relationship values can be age specific. The questionnaires were derived from David Knoxs Self-Assessment The Love Attitudes Scale and assessed by reference to the 7 Item Assessment Scale. This specific demographic was chosen to find a common trend in relationship attitudes among a sample with similar age and vocation characteristics for the purpose of identifying common factors. The presumption is that emotional maturity along specific life spans is expected to dictate relationship perspectives. This ties in with the research studies on emotional and cognitive development throughout the lifespan.
Socioemotional studies indicate that throughout the lifespan attention to and desire for emotional improvement heightens at different times throughout (Hess and Blanchard Fields 1999, 336). Labouvie-Vief, Devoe and Bulka (1989) theorized that affective complexity and interpersonal perception, involving both self-and other-awareness are continuously developing throughout middle age. According to this theory the more mature adult has the capacity to conceptualize a variety of emotions and opinions and to put them together cognitively and emotionally. There is an improved understanding of ones own emotions, self-perception and those of others which facilitates a better insight for solving problems and conflicts in interpersonal relationships (Hess and Blanchard Fields 1999, 336).
Research findings also indicate that middle-aged persons are more adept at managing their emotions than the young and old. Ultimately, emotional maturity reaches a satisfactory peak at midlife (Hoare 2006, 128). These studies and theories indicate that age differences in terms of managing conflicts and expressing love should vary. Satisfaction might therefore emanate from relationships where a middle-aged person is partnered with a young person or an older person. The natural consequence is that the middle-aged person with the capacity to understand the emotions of others and hisher own emotions can equalize and manage tensions. More importantly the middle-aged partner may also find middle ground and negotiate conflict resolution more satisfactorily in a relationship with young and old persons than two young or two old partners or a couple comprised of a young and old partner can.
In this regard, the impact of age differences on relationship satisfaction among couples will largely depend on the age group and the age differences. Drawing on these findings it can be concluded that a middle-aged individual has the capacity to find or negotiate relationship satisfaction with any age group at least insofar as it relates to understanding others and responding to them appropriately. Based on the improved emotional status of the middle-aged person, it can be concluded that the middle-aged partner is able to express love in a manner that meets the needs and desires of his or her partner, quite simply because heshe can grasp and understand the emotional perceptions of others as well as the self. Lewis, Haviland-Jones and Barrett (2008) explain that the
Greater cognitive and emotional complexity during the middle years gives rise to enhances flexibility of self-regulation and the capacity for more modulated emotion expression (380).
The Berlin Aging Study offers some profound insight into the impact of age differences on relationship satisfaction among couples. According to this study which drew on a sample of older adults, positive attitudes fell substantially among older adults specifically between the ages of 70 and 75 and 90 and 100 years (Lewis et al 2008). Similarly, the Los Angeles Longitudinal Study of Generations offers some insight into how age differences can impact relationship satisfaction among couples. In this study samples were derived from a cross-section of ages ranging from young adults to those in the mid-80s. Research findings indicate that positive emotions among the young, the middle-aged and older adults were relatively stable but declined among those between the mid-60s and mid-80s age groups (Lewis et al 2008).
Ultimately these studies indicate that emotional maturity develops over time and at some stage declines as one approaches old-age. The assumption is that age differences in relationships brings together two different levels of emotional and cognitive maturity and depending on the age groups brought together couples ability to sustain satisfaction will vary according to the levels of emotional maturity husbanded in a relationship. For instance if younger couples are expected to experience a growth in positive emotions as they age, their corresponding relationship should grow in satisfaction as they get older. Old-aged adults with increasing negativity may not find satisfaction in much at all let alone intimate relationships. However, the odds are greater that a middle-age person paired with an older person or a younger person will have a satisfactory relationship.
Shantz and Hartup (1995) maintain that conflicts in relationships have the greatest impact on dissatisfaction. Shantz and Hartup (1995) explain that
Conflicts are precipitated when behavior by one member of a dyad is incongruent with the goals, expectations, or desires of the other member, resulting in mutual opposition. These oppositions may engender perturbations in both interactional and emotional aspects of relationships (219).
What can be deduced from this theory is that emotionally immature individuals, when paired together will run into mutual opposition more frequently than older couples or mixed-aged couples, thereby undermining the chances of satisfactory relationships among couples. The presumption is that emotionally immature individuals are less likely to compromise or to understand the feelings and perceptions of the other partner, increasing the risk of mutual opposition. Although this can happen in relationships of any age difference and similarities, in a relationship marked by age differences, there is less likely to be mutual opposition as the more emotionally mature is likely to negotiate a satisfactory resolution so that mutual opposition is minimized.
When these studies are combined with studies such as Grote and Frieze (1994) which make a correlation between age and the perceptions of love and relationship satisfaction and how those perceptions are manifested in love styles, it can be concluded that age differences can determine whether or not a relationship can be satisfactory. For instance, a young person who likes to engage in game-playing as a manifestation of hisher perception of love and relationships may find greater satisfaction with a middle-aged person who is mature enough to understand those perceptions and to respond to them appropriately. This is not to say that they younger person would not find satisfaction with an equally young person who engages in the same love style conduct. The point is, the middle age persons emotional maturity makes himher more flexible and therefore able to adjust to a variety of emotional changes and demands. This makes the middle-aged person more likely to be compatible with a number of different partners at different ages. In this regard, anyone partnered with a middle-aged person will most likely have a relationship that is satisfying.
Sexuality which is also found to be a significant factor in relationship satisfaction also varies among age groups with the result that age differences can also have an impact on relationship satisfaction. Studies such as those by Brubaker and Roberto reported in 1987 (cited in Johnson and Booth 1998 220 and Levine 1998 79) indicate that just as emotions improve with age and decline at a later age, sexual activity declines with age. However, a relationship without love and commitment expressed in entirely healthy ways is not a relationship and this underscores the significance of emotional maturity over sexual satisfaction (Nicotera 1993, 4). In other words, two sexual active partners may not have much of a relationship if they frequently run into mutual opposition and have no technique for resolving those differences.
In the final analysis it can be concluded that the impact of age differences on relationship satisfaction among couples varies according to the degree of the age gap and whether or not the emotional maturity of partners at the specific age corresponds with the character traits generally expected of them. For instance, if a middle-aged partner is emotionally mature as predicted by the various aging studies, the middle-aged partner will likely be compatible with any partner of any age. The key is flexibility in adjusting to conflict and emotional needs and perceptions of love.
While sexual activity is an important factor in all intimate relationships it is not as constant and defining as love and commitment. The significance of sexual activity in relationships is generally attributed to gender than to age. For instances, it is generally believed that women typically value love and commitment over sexual activity in relationships than men do (Brehm 2002, 17). In this regard, it is difficult to align relationship satisfaction with sexual activity among age distinctions. Moreover, sexual activity usually declines as a relationship grows so that the degree of sexual activity among different age groups loses its significance in relationships as opposed to single individuals in terms of age.
In order to come to a more definitive conclusion with respect to the impact of age differences on relationship satisfaction among couples a comparative research study over a period of years is necessary. This research would have benefitted from a comparison of the relationship longevity between young couples, older couples and couples made up of middle-aged and other age partners. It would be interesting to study how long these relationships lasted and how these couples were compatible and incompatible. Further research on the relationships between old and young couples could assist in determining whether their relationships were more or less satisfying than relationships between same-aged couples. In the absence of these studies the author had to study the emotional progression along the lifespan, relationships in general and to put it into the context of the available literature.
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